


Resurrection

by Underneath



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon Compliant for Punisher/Daredevil Characters, F/M, Non Canon Compliant for other MCU Characters, Slow Burn, seriously lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 71,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underneath/pseuds/Underneath
Summary: Every time.Every damn time he saw Karen Page it was like being hit with a defibrillator.BOOM.And she was bringing him back to life.
Relationships: Frank Castle/Karen Page
Comments: 210
Kudos: 332





	1. Chapter 1

So, this blaring, screeching mess is what people call music these days? _Hell._

It reminded Frank of the old dial-up noise the internet used to make back when he was in school. He winced into his drink. So fucking loud. It rumbled in his chest like bombs in the distance. Mortar fire to a beat, setting him on edge and further souring his mood. 

Frank scowled and shook his head, scanning the back wall for the eighth time. This whole goddamn place… setting it on fire would be an improvement. 

He hadn’t been in a club like this in years. Not since he and Maria were first dating and he would willingly follow here anywhere, like a lovesick puppy, or maybe a guard dog on a leash. He’d try to impress her in fancy restaurants. He’d hold her purse while she shopped. He’d even let her drag him into places like this. Slinky clubs with neon lights, hot, sweaty crowds crushed together in the too loud music, using the pretence of “dancing” as an excuse to rub up against each other. Back in those days he’d come to places like this with his girl. She loved to dance after all. He loved to get his hands on her.

He flinched at the memory, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t want to think about Maria while he was at work. Those memories brought Frank Castle back to the surface, and that wasn’t who he needed to be right now. Frank Castle was a distraction that the Punisher didn’t have time for. Frank Castle, with his mistakes and regrets, with his pain and his fear, with his ties to people who were better off forgetting he existed... what a waste. Frank Castle had been put to bed. He clocked out. 

The Punisher was in charge now. The Punisher didn’t have sad memories to hurt him. The Punisher didn’t have the fear of loss to control him. All he had was a job to do. 

Back on mission, Frank let the thumping music fade to the back of his awareness and focused on what he was supposed to be doing. Admittedly, he’d slacked on recon. He hadn’t done nearly as much research and planning as he normally should before a job, but… what the hell. Frank was over it. He’d spent the last few nights in his van, and while he never slept well, it was even worse in the van. He felt like dog shit. Frank tried to tick back in his head to remember the last time he’d eaten a real meal. It might have been a few days ago. He’d been living on coffee and beef jerky for a while. 

Idiot. 

He knew better. He should have waited, researched more, made sure he was in fighting shape. Frank rolled his eyes at himself. Lately, he just didn’t give a shit. Every job was the same as the last. A new day, a new scumbag to put in the ground. Yeah, he probably should have given this job some more time- but he’d been bored. Itching for a fight.

If shit hit the fan, he’d handle it. Or, if this was the day the Punisher couldn’t handle it… well, that would be that. 

Over the rim of his drink, Frank finally saw what he’d been waiting for. The security guard blocking the back hallway finally left his post. Distracted by a girl in a glittery dress. Moron let himself get pulled onto the dance floor, leaving the entrance open and unguarded. 

Frank moved through the crowd like a shadow, getting bumped and jostled, but never disturbing the flow of the people around him. When he reached the beaded curtain to the hall, he checked over his shoulder, making sure the security guard was still making out with the glittery girl before slipping into the dark. 

There were only 2 doors back there to choose from; the emergency exit, which probably led outside to the back alley, and another, closed but unguarded. Frank’s blood started to heat up. _Here we go._

Behind that door were at least three assholes who’s time was up. From what Frank heard, they’d recently taken up management of this bar, the owner having mysteriously "disappeared" a few weeks ago. These punks had taken over the neighborhood. Little Wilson Fisk wannabe’s. Their gang locked down the nearby businesses and apartments, demanding payment in exchange for “protection”, threatening families, old folks, kids, everyone. No one was safe. It was time to take out the trash. 

Frank felt the fire in his lungs as he stalked closer to the closed door. 

_“What the fuck are you doing back here, asshole?”_

Frank spun. Out of nowhere, two more security goons suddenly were barrelling toward him. These guys were huge, growling at him like rabid dogs. How the hell hadn't he sensed them coming? One already had his gun pulled, aimed right between Frank’s eyes. _Dammit._ Frank wouldn’t dare reach for his gun now. Judging by the way the punk was holding weapon, he didn’t really know how to use it properly, but he was close enough that he probably wouldn’t miss. 

_… ok._

Frank stumbled into the wall and slid a bit as he pretended to struggle to keep his balance. 

“H-Hey fellas, hows it goin’?” He slurred, giving them his best drunk-idiot impression.

The goons were not amused. The one kept his gun on Frank as the other grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and slammed him up against the wall so hard it almost knocked the wind out of him. 

_“I said_ what the fuck are you doing here?” He shouted, inches away from Frank’s face. 

He had a teardrop tattoo on his cheek. Frank wanted to roll his eyes. Instead he just held up his hands, sloppily. 

“Hey buddy, take ‘er easy…” Frank garbled out. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Tweedle Dee with the gun was yelling, but Frank didn’t take his eyes off Tweedle Dum who’d wrapped a giant fist around Frank’s neck. 

Tweedle Dum was getting pissed. His grip on Frank’s neck was getting tighter and tighter as he shoved Frank further up the wall. Frank’s toes were barely touching the ground. 

“I’m not going to ask you again, motherfucker. What the hell do you think you’re doing back here?” 

Frank choked, starting to see stars. “D-Do either of you guysss know where the bathroom’s at?”

He didn’t have to fake his reaction to the brutal punch to his kidney Dum delivered. It fucking hurt. 

“Fuck this, man.” Dee piped up, “Let just take this asshole out back and put one in his brain.” 

They both moved to drag Frank out the back door. _Shit._

_“Baby?_ _There_ you are.” 

Frank would have recognized that voice anywhere, but he still couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His head snapped up. There she was. 

The woman swept through the beaded curtain at the hallway entrance like she was moving in slow motion. She was wrapped in a short, black dress that hugged her curves and looked like sin. She had long, blood red hair and sky blue eyes. The hair and the dress threw him a bit, but Frank knew those eyes. That face. That voice. Karen Page was sauntering toward him in spike heels, swaying her hips like walking sex. Out of nowhere, like a dream. 

Every alarm in Frank’s body went off at once, even as his thoughts screeched to a halt. 

Karen stepped right up to the three men with a sultry grin on her face. She put her hands on her hips, smiling at them with mischief in her eyes, in a _‘now what are you boys up to?’_ sort of way.

She pouted vivid red lips and batted her eyes at the goons, who each had a hold on one of Frank’s arms. 

“I’m sorry, ya’ll. Is he botherin’ you?” She had a syrupy southern accent. 

All three men had frozen the moment Karen appeared in the hall, but her question seemed to snap the punks back into action. Tweedle Dee quickly moved to hide his weapon behind his back, as if Karen hadn’t already seen it and he was trying to make a good impression on her. 

Tweedle Dum spoke up, warily. “Yeah, uh… no one’s supposed to be back here.” 

She pressed her hand to her neck, shaking her head at Frank.

“Good grief, Baby.” She scolded. “Always wanderin’ off.”

She grinned back up at the goons. “He’s always doin' this. Get a few drinks in ‘im and he thinks he owns the place.” 

She was blinking up at them with her big blue eyes. They didn’t stand a chance. 

“OK. Let me take this guy off your hands.”

Karen reached and pulled Frank to her by the buttons of his henley. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum just let him go at her command. Like magic. Frank’s mind was whirring, he was in shock. He stumbled a bit as he took a step into her arms, reminding himself that he needed to continue his drunk idiot routine. 

“...’s guy punched me…” He slurred, leaning into Karen and burying his face in her neck, hoping he sounded like a whiney drunk. 

Karen kissed his temple. 

“Well, Sweetheart, I’m guessin’ you did somethin’ to deserve it.” 

Frank couldn’t see her face, but he was sure she must have winked at them behind his back. Both of the punks were suddenly chuckling, completely under her spell. 

She moved so she could take Frank’s face by the chin and looked straight into his eyes. She held his gaze for a stretching moment. Frank could barely breathe. Karen leaned forward and gave him the lightest kiss, just a brush of her lips, neither of them even had time to close their eyes. 

“Now, are you gonna come dance with me? Or am I gonna have to ask one of your friends here?”

Frank didn’t have to fake a dopey response, he felt a little dizzy. “Me.”

“That’s right.” She said, taking his hand and leading him back down the hallway. 

Karen turned one last time to give the goons a little wave over her shoulder. 

“I’ll keep a better eye on him from now on. ‘Bye ya’ll!”

Frank kept up his drunk stumbling, but his grip on her hand was like iron. He moved to tug her toward the exit, but she pulled back with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. She was glaring at him. 

“Every gang member in here is watching us. If we leave right now we’re screwed.” She bit out between her grinning teeth. “Dance with me.”

Karen pulled him close and slid her arms around his neck. Frank’s hands went to her waist as he scanned the room, confirming what she’d just said. They were being watched. 

Frank turned his attention back to the woman in his arms. He hadn’t laid eyes on her in months. It was jarring to see her like this, her blue eyes peering at him from under a fringe of bright red hair. For a while they just stared at each other, swaying, but not to the music. When her eyes weren’t piercing his, they were running all over his face. Did he look that different?

“You look like hell.” 

Frank snorted at that. She’d seen him looking much worse. He didn’t even have any bruises on his face right now. 

“You don’t.” He shot back, and was glad that it made her crack a smile. 

She leaned closer, running her nails on the back of his skull. He stiffened before remembering that they were being watched. They needed to act drunk and “together”. He pulled her closer, their bodies aligning. 

“What the hell are you going here, Karen?” He breathed into her ear. 

“I was about to ask you the same question.” 

Stubborn. Frank squeezed her hips harder. _Answer me._

Karen huffed.

“Alright. I was investigating the gang that’s taken over the club. They’ve been making big moves in this neighborhood… as I’m sure you know, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.” She angled her head to look at him, so close that her nose brushed his cheek. “Unless you’ve suddenly become a fan of techno music.”

Frank huffed, noting in the back of his mind that he couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed. Karen was funny. Smart and sweet and good. And suddenly he was pissed off. 

“You shouldn’t be here. What the hell are you thinking? Coming to a place like this?” 

Karen’s eyes lit on fire. She kissed his cheek, leaned closer still and planted another kiss near his ear before hissing at him. 

“First of all, don’t scowl at me. People are watching us and we need to act drunk and in love. Second, don’t you dare talk to me like that. No one ever would have noticed me here tonight if I hadn’t seen those two monsters follow you into that hallway. You obviously needed backup.” 

Karen slid against him so she could look him in the eyes, her hands skimming down his arms and back up again. “Your welcome, by the way.”

Frank wanted to snap at her that he didn’t need her help, but couldn’t muster it. The way she was touching him was distracting. Plus, he had to admit… she’d been incredible back there. Charming those guards, defusing the situation, that ridiculous accent she used. She was still surprising him now, dancing so close, her body loose and her smile sweet even though they were still in very real danger. She was good at this. 

Frank willed his body to relax, to match her movements and her energy, not wanting his stiffness to blow their cover. It was easy to follow her, the way she moved under his hands made him remember how to do this.

“That’s more like it.” Karen smirked, her fingers toying with the collar of his jacket. “What were you even planning to do back there? There were seven armed men in that room.” 

“...Seven?” 

“I do my research, Frank. Unlike _some people_ , apparently.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “I know the enforcers. Seeing which bodyguards are stationed here tells me exactly who’s in the back room.” 

Frank nodded, absorbing that. His nose brushed hers. 

Karen was brave and too damn clever. And sexy in this tiny dress, pressed up against him. Her fingertips were ghosting over him, down his chest and around his ribs. Frank’s skin was starting to tingle. Her hands were running along his lower back underneath his jacket when they froze. She felt his guns tucked into the back of his jeans. 

_Come to think of it…_ Frank’s hands finally moved from the safe place where he’d cemented them on her waist. He started dragging his palms along her hips and back, frisking her in a slow, sensual glide. This skin tight dress… _where could she hide a weapon? She better not have come here unarmed…_

“Where’s your-”

“Inner thigh.” She cut him off before he could even finish his question. 

Oh. That was a mental image he wouldn’t soon forget. Frank felt his skin prickling, like he was about to break into a sweat.

“So, what was your plan, huh?” She asked against his neck. “Were you just going to kick the door down? Go in, guns blazing?” 

Frank didn’t have an answer, because yes- that had pretty much been his plan. 

“You’re not even wearing your vest… are you trying to get yourself killed?” 

The look she gave him was so _Karen_. It made him hurt. She was disappointed and worried and frustrated with him. She made fists in his shirt, pressing closer than ever, demanding answers from him that he didn’t have. 

He could barely think past his awareness of her proximity. 

“I would have handled it.” 

His answer was vague and he wasn’t at all surprised as she, ever so subtly, rolled her eyes at him and sunk her nails a little harder into his back than before.

Frank took a couple of deep breaths through his nose to get his reaction under control. 

He wasn’t used to this. At all. It had been a long time now, that the Punisher had been on autopilot. Frank was numb. He hadn’t felt anything, physically or emotionally, in so long... Everything she did, everything she said- all this contact with Karen, so much, so fast- it was an onslaught. Frank felt it all like electric shocks, like he was being jolted awake, out of hibernation. His grip on Karen tightened. 

She shivered. Frank logged it in the back of his mind, subconsciously glad to know that she was affected by him too. He wasn’t alone in this overwhelming feeling. 

Karen turned in his arms. Her back pressed to his chest, her ass tucked up against him, not exactly in the same dirty grind as the couples that surrounded them, but still… _Jesus._ Frank’s hands splayed across her belly, clung to her hips. They were moving with the music. For just a few moments, they weren’t acting. The throbbing of the bass was echoing inside their bodies. Frank and Karen always fell so easily in sync with each other, but for once, it was like the whole world slowed down to flow on their wavelength. Frank’s forehead was pressed to Karen’s temple, his lips brushing her neck. Her nearness was like a drug.

Frank opened eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed. 

Ice cracked through the heat that had been simmering in his chest. The same goons from before were shoving their way through the churning sea of bodies toward them. 

A quick scan of the room. All security was headed their way, closing in. 

_“Karen-”_

He grabbed her attention and in that moment- by a stroke of sheer goddamn luck- the club went insane. All at once, the music slammed into a loud breakdown, the bass blasting through the room. The lights flickered and strobed. Dancers threw their hands in the air, wild and set loose. Confetti cannons exploded above them, sparkling and glittering confusion rained down. 

This was their chance. Frank grabbed Karen’s hand and ran. They ducked through the crowd, staying low, dodging dancers and gang members alike. When they burst through the front doors neither of them slowed down for a second. They fled.

Frank couldn’t run at full speed with Karen, but she kept up with him surprisingly well. She was running at a dead sprint, in heels. He tugged her down alleys, through parking lots, into a restaurant and out through its kitchen. They ran and ran. Not speaking. Not stopping until many blocks later when Karen finally stumbled. Frank caught her and they spun together, crashing against an alley wall where he took the brunt of the impact with his shoulder. 

They were both gasping for breath. Karen sagged into him, he could feel her pulse slamming through her entire body. She could probably feel his too. Frank clutched her to him as they struggled to regain their breath, his mind racing. They’d covered a lot of ground, he felt pretty confident they hadn’t been followed. He was listening for the sound of footsteps, but it was hard to hear anything over the pounding of his own blood pumping in his ears. He barely noticed Karen attempting to unwrap herself from his arms. It wasn’t until she finally exhaled his name, frustrated, that he realized she was pressing at his chest, trying to get space. He let go immediately. 

Karen’s chest was heaving. She took several steps away from Frank, hands on her hips, dragging air into her starved lungs. Frank couldn’t look away. It was like a dream seeing her this way. This tiny dress, this vibrant hair, her skin glistening with the sheen of sweat. Everything about her so different, but entirely familiar at the same time. _You’re safe._ Her eyes burned into his as he stared at her and she stared right back. 

They found their breath together, inhaling and exhaling as one. How were they always so locked in with each other? What the hell was it about her? 

Frank watched her emotions play out on her face, but he couldn’t read her thoughts. So much was happening behind her eyes. 

Karen was the one to break their eye contact. She focused down at the concrete for several long moments before flickering her eyes back to him. She looked guarded, skittish. 

“It seems like we’re in the clear. No one followed us.” Her voice was airy, still slightly out of breath. “I guess this is goodbye then. You can go.”

She turned her back on him, heading toward the street without another word.

_\- the hell?_

“Karen.” He called to her, barely able to believe she was just walking away like that. 

She turned to face him but kept walking backward. Her eyes were hard.

“What is it, Frank? Isn’t the next sentence out of your mouth going to be telling me to leave? Or walk away? Or stay away?” She opened her arms in a wide shrug. “You know what? Tonight, I don’t want to hear it. I’ll spare you the trouble.” 

She turned on him again, walking away. Hips swaying and heels clicking. Frank reacted on instinct, catching up to her in a few quick strides, grabbing her arm to spin her back around. A storm was expanding in his chest. She was pissing him off. He took his hand off her arm. Frank didn’t know exactly what he wanted to say to her, but… he did _not_ like her walking away from him like that. He did _not_ like to see that ice in her eyes. Karen never looked at him like that. Not even when she’d pointed a gun at his face.

He didn’t want this to be their goodbye. With anyone else he wouldn’t give a shit, but not her. Not Karen. 

“Karen, don’t. Don’t just- ” His hands were twitching at his sides. “... It’s late. I don’t want you out here alone-” 

Karen cut him off with a short, humorless laugh.

“What? You want to make sure I get home safe?” She gestured over her shoulder to the subway entrance just a little way down the sidewalk. “That’s my train. Don’t worry about me, Frank. I’m a big girl.” 

She made to turn from him again, and his vision tunneled. He saw red. _What the fuck do you mean, don’t worry about you? Why the hell is she being like this?_ He spun her around again, invading her space. 

“Yeah, you’re a big girl alright. Walking into a place like that tonight, surrounded by scumbags, like that little .38’s gonna keep you safe.” 

He was glowering at her. He could feel her pulse fluttering in her wrist where he held onto her. It made him feel... he couldn’t pin it down… 

“You’re looking for trouble, Karen. As usual. You can’t leave shit alone even when it’s gonna get you hurt.”

He was talking about more than her job. He was talking about himself. About them. And they both knew it. 

Karen flinched. It was small, almost imperceptible, but Frank felt it like a slap. It hurt him to hurt her. But she needed to stay away from shit like this, from shit like him. _Why couldn’t she see that? How can she not understand how important she is? What the hell does he have to do to get through to her?_

Frank tilted his head at her, mocking. 

“Does Matt Murdock know you’re out here doing this? Or is he perched up there somewhere?” Frank tipped his head to the surrounding buildings. “Babysitting from the rooftops, maybe?” 

Karen twisted her wrist out of his grasp, but she apparently had no comment on the fact that he knew Murdock’s little secret. That he was taunting her with it. 

She took a deep breath, seeming to fortify herself. She reached up, threaded her fingers through her bangs, and slowly began pulling at what was apparently a red wig. Karen’s long blonde hair tumbled out from underneath as she tossed the wig away. She tousled her hair, setting the golden locks free and wild all around her. 

Frank’s pulse thumped as he watched. 

When she looked back up at him the ice in her eyes was gone. _There._ That was his Karen. This was the woman he knew so well. 

“Do you know you always bring him up when I get too close? You use Matt’s name like a shield to keep me away.” She frowned at him in a soft, open way. “It's cowardly, and you’re not a coward.” 

Frank clenched his jaw, his eyes smarting. She called his bullshit. Like always. That’s the thing about Karen Page… she sends the Punisher packing. One look from Karen and it was like being doused with a bucket of ice water. Suddenly wide awake. Suddenly struggling to breathe. 

She was right. _God, Karen…_

“Listen,” Her voice was gentle. “it's never going to be Matt. Not for me.”

She reached for Frank slowly, like she didn’t want to spook him. Her fingertips on his jaw felt like fiery little brands.

“And I know it's not going to be you. You made that clear. It's not what you want. You want to fight your war, and you want me to walk away. I got you on the record, Castle. A direct quote.”

She gave him one of her sad little smiles. He had no idea what to say as her fingers fell from his face. She stepped back. 

Frank felt the loss of her like a gust of cold wind. Her eyes were starting to swim. Frank wanted to plead with her, to beg her not to cry. 

Karen took a deep breath. She even managed to gift him a brave smile. _She’s beautiful._

“It’s good to see you, Frank. Really.” 

She paused, maybe waiting for him to say something, but he choked. He had nothing. Her eyes blazed into his for another stretched moment. 

“Goodbye.” 

And when she turned this time, he let her go. 

:::

_Don’t look back. Don’t look back._

Karen gripped the railing hard as she descended the stairs to the subway. Her legs were wobbly. Not from balancing in her high heels, or from the burning in her muscles from running for her life. No, her legs were shaking from the effect that Frank Castle had on her. Anytime. Everytime. He shook her deeper than her bones, down to her soul. Every single time she got near him. Every time his dark eyes seemed to swallow her whole. 

Karen allowed herself to shudder and lean against the wall once she reached the bottom of the stairs. He couldn’t see her now. He wouldn’t know. 

Karen took a few deep breaths. She had to get it together, she almost felt like she could pass out. Her eyes were stinging. _Don’t cry, woman! Don’t you do it._

She felt vulnerable enough walking around in this slinky little outfit, the last thing she needed was to attract attention by weeping on the subway platform. 

_Frank._ How the hell did he get under her skin like this? What was it about him? About _them?_

When she saw him at the club she almost choked on her drink. Karen had been playing it cool at the bar. Chatting up some of the staff to see if anyone was feeling gossipy, maybe wanting to complain about the new management, or speculate on what on earth happened to the club owner who’d apparently just “disappeared”. But then she’d spotted Frank moving through the crowd. 

It was surreal, watching him from afar. She’d hardly ever been able to just look at him without him staring straight back at her. His face was as clear as she’d ever seen it, not a cut or a bruise in sight, and yet… he looked worse than ever. There was something lifeless about him, an exhaustion she’d never seen before. He was usually crackling with energy. Whether he was hurt, or bleeding, or handcuffed to a hospital bed, Frank surged with life and some sort of power that made him seem invincible. But under the colorful flashing lights at the club, he'd looked like a ghost. He even looked kind of thin, like maybe he wasn’t eating. Karen’s heart ached at the sight of him. 

She knew he would be pissed off if she interrupted whatever the hell he was doing, but when she saw those two guys follow him down that hallway, Karen was up and coming for him on instinct. Consequences be damned. 

It was like an out of body experience, the whole ditzy southern girlfriend act she’d put on. She hadn’t known what she was saying or doing, the words just flew out of her mouth, her hands just grabbed him like he belonged to her. She’d kissed him. Karen blushed now recalling the kiss. She was torn between embarrassment and wishing she could remember it better. She had no idea how she’d managed to keep up the act, to play it so smooth. 

While she was dancing with Frank, feeling him so close, she’d been riding a wave of confidence she’d never felt before in her life. Maybe it was the costume. Maybe the wig, dress, and heels made it easier to play the part. Karen shivered again, trying to wrench her mind away from remembering how it felt to have his hands on her. The way their bodies moved to the music in that brief moment of giving in to the magnetic pull between them before all hell broke loose and they were on the run again. 

Karen leaned against a column and ran her fingers through her hair, their conversation playing out in her mind like a movie. Frank hadn’t had a good plan back at the club. That wasn’t like him. He could have been killed. Was he trying to die? The thought tore at her. It made her palms sweat and her lungs freeze up. 

_No. Please._

He really didn’t look well. Karen pictured him, the way he’d been glaring at her in that alley. He’d been frustrated, but more than that… he looked bleak in a way that just wasn’t _Frank._ He’d been so shut down. When she finally got a reaction from him, it gutted her. She'd called him out on his bullshit with mentioning Matt, and suddenly there he was, with those bottomless brown eyes yelping at her like a kicked puppy. 

Her train thundered into the station and Karen boarded. She pressed her palm to her stomach, feeling sick. Her other fingers fluttering up to her lips. She’d been such a bitch. What if that was the last time she ever saw him? Karen huddled herself near the opposite door and faced the window so no one could see her starting to cry. 

It was late, but the train car was still about halfway full. She pressed her forehead to the glass, wishing she was alone so she could just sob like she wanted to. 

Her mind was a blur. Images of Frank, so desolate, so haunted, as she left him in the shadows. Why did she have to react to him like that? It's not like it hurt any less- choosing to walk away on her own, rather than waiting for him to tell her to leave. She could see that he wasn’t doing well, she should have tried to help him. Should have _done something._

The train doors behind her started to close but were bumped back open as another person tried to jump on last minute. Karen barely noticed, too lost in her thoughts. What if she really never saw Frank again? If this was the last time she-

Someone was crowding her. Invading her space. The train was not that full. There was no need for anyone to be this close. Karen whipped around, ready to snap at whatever idiot thought they had the right to bother her, but...

Big, brown, wonderful eyes. Eyes so dark and deep, even deeper when they were glassy like this. Eyes she could fall into and get lost. Broad shoulders, rising and falling with the bellows of his chest as he breathed. 

Frank. He’d come after her. 

Karen didn’t care why, or what it meant. She was just so goddamn glad he was here. Her arms went reached for him automatically. He didn’t hesitate for a second. He latched on to her, holding her tight, like someone might try to rip her away. She buried her face in his neck. _God,_ it was good to hold him. To feel him. To have zero questions about where he was and if he was ok. 

The train lurched forward and Frank reached up with one arm to grip the handrail, but Karen just held on to Frank with both hands. He was rock steady. She let herself just look at him, feast her eyes on him. She’d never get tired of it.

And the way he looked at her now… It was how he’d looked at her in the elevator a million years ago. His eyes were glazed over. Needy. Like he was begging her for something he wasn’t sure he’d actually accept if she offered. This openness, this vulnerability. Goddammit. She could not stay angry at Frank Castle. 

A few tears finally spilled down her cheeks. Frank winced. He reached up, wiping them away with his knuckles. Each stroke saying _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

Karen leaned into his touch. _I know. I understand. I see you._

They couldn’t really talk, not with this many other people around. But words weren’t enough anyway. 

Karen stepped further into him, as close as she could get. She wrapped her arms tighter around him, and laid her head down on his shoulder. Frank held her close with one arm as the other keep their balance on the railing. They swayed together on the rumbling train. 

Karen felt a peace like she hadn’t known in years settle over her. Time stood still. There was so much comfort here. Like a soothing energy was passing through her and into Frank, and once it cycled through him, he sent it back to her twice as strong. 

Frank’s palm was pressed flat on her back, his thumb ran back and forth between her shoulder blades. Karen couldn’t help her hands moving, making fists in his jacket and releasing them, only to travel a few inches and grab hold again. She loved feeling the rise and fall of his breathing. At some point Frank relaxed more into her, he let her carry some of his weight. He rested his head, against hers, every so often to pressing a small kiss to her temple. 

There was a rhythm to it all. Simple steps to an easy dance.

Karen was soaking it in, cataloging yet another one of those sweet kisses to her hair, when she registered the train’s automated voice announcing that her stop was next. 

_Whoa._ It made her dizzy. Time and space really did shift when she and Frank would collide. She’d just spent 30 minutes in his arms, and it had gone by in a blink. Karen didn’t want this to end. She didn’t want to say goodbye. 

Like waking from a dream, Karen lifted her head from Frank’s shoulder. His head drifted up too and he looked different. Better. 

“My stop is next.” She whispered.

Frank nodded in a way that made Karen think he might’ve already known. 

Karen knew she only had a few minutes left with him. He was watching her from under his brow with that intensity of his. It reminded her of how he’d looked at her in the hospital that last time, like he wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. Like it might be up to her. 

She felt a surreal certainty that if she asked him to come home with her... he’d say yes. Karen’s heart fluttered wildly for a moment before fizzling out. As much as she wanted that- wanted _him_ , the same certainty deep inside her was also confirming that he wasn’t in a good place right now. Not in his head or his in his heart. Frank might try to do right by her- but he’d leave to fight his war in the morning, or the next day… it didn’t matter when. He’d leave. And it would break her. And this strange, precious thing that they had together wouldn’t survive. 

He’s a good man. But he needed his war more than he needed her. It was what it was. 

The train was slowing down. She leaned in. Slow, so he knew it was coming, so he could back away if he wanted. He didn’t. She pressed her lips to his. A soft, careful kiss.

Karen felt the swirl inside her. She leaned back for a breath, to give him a moment. 

All seemed well. Just one more then, for the road…

She pressed her lips to his again, so delicate, so light, and this time, Frank’s mouth moved with hers. Accepting the kiss, making it linger. 

When she pulled away Frank’s eyes were glassy again, but in a different sort of way. A way that sent a ripple of longing though her. 

The train stopped. The doors opened. 

_Too soon._

“Take care, Frank.” She breathed, releasing her grip on him. 

Frank blinked at her, maybe confused for a moment, maybe disappointed, before he let his arm slide away. He ducked his head in a small nod. 

She smiled at him, not breaking eye contact as she stepped off the train. Frank’s fingers were twitching, like he wanted to reach out and pull her back. She wanted to throw herself back into his arms. But she fought it. Karen kept that smile on her face. A gift for him. The most she could give him unless he was ever ready to give more of himself to her. 

She held his gaze as the doors closed between them, as the train started up again and dragged him away. She kept watching the train until its red lights disappeared into the depths of the New York underground. 

Karen’s feet carried her home like she was in a trance. She locked herself inside her apartment and kicked off her heels and sighed. Part of her still wanted to have a good cry. Part of her wanted to fill a wine glass to overflowing and drown in self pity over why, of all the people on earth to be irrevocably, inextricably tied to, she was tied to Frank Castle. 

Karen knew she had a lot going for her- a job she loved, friends who were like family, she was smart and dammit, she was beautiful. She should have a man who took her on dates and bought her gifts and made her promises. But she didn’t have any of those things. And when guys who were probably capable of giving them to her actually asked her out, she never let it amount to anything. Because her soul was shackled to someone else. Someone complicated. Someone impossible.

_No. No wine tonight_. She wasn’t losing one more night dwelling on that same old sad story. 

Karen peeled off her tight dress and tossed it in on a pile of clothes that she needed to dry clean and return to Marci. She grabbed a makeup wipe and, after much scrubbing, brought her face back to a clean blank slate. She stared at herself in the mirror, not really seeing her reflection. She was picturing Frank again, the many versions of him she’d seen tonight. The ghost of him, floating through the club. The Punisher, who dragged her behind him for blocks to keep her safe, who was angry with her. Then, last to the party, Frank Castle- when he finally dropped his bullshit and looked at her like a man, held her like he needed her. 

Karen watched herself bite her lip in the mirror, not knowing what to do about this last version of him. He was fading away. The Punisher was taking over and Frank Castle was going to disappear.

Karen shook her head. _That’s not who he is. He’s not the monster._

It’s like he’s forgotten that now. Or he’s trying to. 

But Karen wasn’t going to let him forget, not if she could help it. This was how their relationship had started, and it was coming full circle again. 

Karen would help him remember. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Friends,  
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> For a while I felt like I didn't have anything left in my head for canon compliant Kastle stories. But I guess I just wanted to write a few more moments for them, to give them more time, time they never got in the series... So here we go. (I'll aim for weekly updates)
> 
> Also... any True Blood fans out there... I hope you enjoyed Karen with bright red hair and a southern accent:)


	2. Chapter 2

_**6 Weeks Later…** _

The day was too beautiful. It shouldn’t work like this. A sad day should be cold and rainy, with a wind that bites, and a grey sky that imposes its gloom on everyone alike.  Karen looked up and frowned at the sun. _ Go away. _

She didn’t often have time to go to parks. The rare times she had the freedom to go strolling through a park, she actively avoided this one. It seemed wrong to come here to relax. Karen knew too much. 

She looked around. People were out in droves today, enjoying the beautiful weather. There were bike riders on paths, musicians and performers scattered here and there, couples on blankets, families playing in the grass. And at the center of it all, that beautiful carousel. That lovely, horrible, revolving nightmare. Restored and renewed. Showing no signs of the awful things that had happened here. 

It turned Karen’s stomach to see kids playing on that thing. They didn’t know the secrets that haunted this place. That was a good thing though, right? Children should be able to play in the park without a care in the world, without fearing the monsters who’d laid this place to waste not long ago. 

Karen had only been here once before. She had to report on the horrible scene Billy Rousseau orchestrated here. When those kids were hurt, Madani was shot, and Frank disappeared into the shadows again.

Karen was here today because she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She hadn’t seen Frank since saying goodbye to him on the train. She wasn't really surprised by that. Yeah, she’d hoped that maybe she’d struck a nerve inside him, that maybe he’d want to reach out, to be friends or… 

Well, he hadn’t been in touch. 

She should probably take that as a sign that he wants nothing to do with her, but Karen couldn’t help herself. She cared about him. Today was the anniversary of the worst day of his life, and she hated the thought of him being alone. She didn’t have any way to get in touch with him, so coming here was the only thing she could think of. 

The paths through the park were winding. She could see the carousel from quite a distance and she made her way closer carefully, like walking on hallowed ground. The lights, the vibrant colors, the whimsical music piped out from the speakers, it was everything it should be. And it was all wrong. 

Karen shielded her eyes as a few of the carousel’s mirrors caught the sunlight. The mirrors were all brand new. Karen squeezed her eyes shut remembering what they’d looked like the last time she saw them. 

She turned away from the carousel, knowing she didn’t have to search for him there. He wouldn’t actually be riding the thing. If he was here, he might be… sitting on one of the benches? Karen scanned the area looking over every bench and picnic table as casually as possible, hoping she’d spot a familiar set of shoulders, a pair of dark eyes she knew. But she didn’t find him. Karen did two full loops of the carousel and surrounding area before deciding he definitely wasn’t there. 

It had been a long shot hoping to find him here, but she couldn’t help the little sting of disappointment. Karen bit her lip, silently hoping that Frank was ok. That somehow he wasn’t completely alone today. Or doing something too dangerous. Or dead. 

_ God. _ She pressed her fingers to her lips.  _ Please be ok, Frank. _

Karen wasn’t ready to leave the park quite yet. The thought of heading home right now was too depressing. She’d take her time. Karen left the path and walked out onto one of the lawns. There were some girls playing with hula hoops. They could have been highschool age, or even college, but they looked so young to Karen’s eyes. She wove around clusters of people, avoiding picnic blankets and lawn games, idly eavesdropping on the conversations she passed by. It really was a beautiful day. 

The crowd thinned as she kept wandering. Soon Karen was alone in the open lawn, she spun in a slow circle enjoying the slightly odd feeling of being “alone” in the middle of the city. The only thing near her now was a large tree and… 

Karen felt a small explosion in her chest. There was a man sitting at the base of the big tree. He was dressed in black and sitting so still in the tree’s shade that she hadn’t noticed him until now. It was a man she’d recognize anywhere. The man who drew her to him like gravity, or magnetic attraction, or some sort of quantum entanglement… whatever it was, she was drawn to him now. 

She made a slow approach. She’d come here because she felt compelled, she felt he might need her today. But at the same time, Karen was fully aware that she was intruding on something incredibly painful and private. She didn’t want to come at him too quickly. 

Their eyes met. 

Frank’s face was implacable. He didn’t look pleased to see her, he didn’t look upset that she was there. He was still as a stone. He leaned heavily against the tree trunk, his legs crossed in front of him, staring her down. 

Karen broke the eye contact. She couldn’t help but do a quick scan of his body to check he wasn’t bleeding or seriously hurt in some way. He had a black eye and a split lip, but other than that he looked ok. Better than last time she’d seen him actually, despite the bruises. He’d bulked up again. She didn’t like seeing him too thin. With the life he’s chosen, physical strength is key to survival. The more ferocious he looked the better. 

Karen fought against her blush as her eyes darted back up to his. He’d been staring at her the whole time, watching her look him over, watching her notice that his chest and arms were stretching his the material of sweatshirt. 

She gave him a little smile. He didn’t return it. 

When she got close enough that she could almost reach out and touch him, Frank broke his stare, closing his eyes. He stretched his neck from side to side. When he opened his eyes again he wouldn’t look at her. He stared straight ahead, his eyes dead set toward the carousel, and didn’t say a word. 

Karen bit the inside of her cheek.  _ Ignoring me, huh? _

She didn’t take it personally. She could only imagine all the different things he was feeling today. He hadn’t asked her to come here. She was the one who didn’t want him to be alone. She’d stay with him for a while. If it seemed like she was truly making things worse, she’d leave. 

Karen sat down next to him. Not touching him, but very close. She arranged the skirt of her sundress so it wasn’t getting stuck underneath her while Frank ignored her existence. Once she settled in, she looked out in the direction Frank was blankly staring. She just wanted to be with him, for him to know she cared. They didn’t need to talk. 

Side by side in the shade of the tree, they sat for a long time in complete silence. From this distance they could see the carousel but not hear it. It was probably good that he didn’t have to listen to the music. He wouldn’t have to deal with the visceral feelings and memories it would bring up. He picked the perfect spot to watch from. The man was a scout sniper after all. Karen smiled at the thought. She took a moment to peer at him from the side of her eye. 

Frank’s face was like a mask. Lifeless. His eyes so hard. That was the Punisher’s face. Karen’s smile died. 

_ This isn’t all you are, Frank. You’re so much more. Why are you doing this to yourself?  _

Karen ached, sitting right next to Frank but feeling a thousand miles away. 

As much as she didn’t like it, she had to admit she understood him on a certain level. It was probably easier to be the Punisher today. The pain was probably easier to bear. Rage preferable to grief. Such a terrible choice to have to make.

_ What absolute hell... _

Moments with Frank were flashing through Karen’s mind. Their first conversation in the hospital when he was searching for memories of his kids and their house, their toys and their rooms. That time at the river when he told her the story about his son painting a big bad Marine on their kitchen wall. His voice, haunted and choking, when he told her about his nightmares and the fading sounds of his family laughing.

_ That’s _ Frank Castle. A father without his children. A husband without his wife.

Karen’s eyes began to sting, remembering the tears she’s seen him shed. The brokenness in his eyes. The blame.

_ I understand, Frank. It might be easier to play the monster… but that’s not you. That’s not who you are.  _

Karen felt a lump starting to form in her throat. She was remembering the look on his face when she gave him the photo of his family. 

It killed her. 

Karen was trying to keep quiet and still. She didn’t want to bother Frank or interrupt his thoughts. Her eyes were hot and welling up. Her emotions were getting the best of her. When her tears finally fell, they did so completely silently. She discreetly brushed them away. 

Frank still noticed. 

His eyes went wide when he turned them on Karen. His gaze jittery, ricocheting all over her face, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. She knew herself well enough to know that right now Frank was looking at bloodshot eyes, a pink nose, and trembling lips that were trying to hold in a sob. There was no hiding from him. 

His stare was intense, boring into her. All Karen could do was look back at him and shrug. 

“I’m so sorry, Frank.” She sniffled.

He understood what she meant. She knew he did.

Yes, she was sorry to have barged into his day and started crying when he clearly wanted some peace and quiet, but more than that, she was sorry for  _ everything. _ She was sorry for every horrifying, terrible thing that had happened to him over the last few years. She was sorry for everything he’d lost and everything he had to live with. She was  _ so sorry. _

It was like Frank’s breath was punched out of him. He looked completely winded. In the time it took for Karen to blink, the Punisher was gone, and Karen was sitting next to Frank Castle. The lonely man she knew so well. He was wrecked and suddenly struggling to breathe. 

Karen reached for his hand and pulled it to her so she could hold it in her lap. He held on tight, running his thumb over her fingers. The motion grounded him. He didn’t seem able to look at Karen for very long. But looking at their hands was a safe place. 

She held Frank’s hand as he wrestled with his breathing, as he clenched his jaw, and pressed on his eyes in a futile effort to stop his tears. Karen felt the pangs of his grief in her own body. She scooted closer so she was pressed against his side and leaned her head on his shoulder. 

Karen massaged his hand between both of hers. His knuckles were bruised and swollen. She made sure to be extra gentle. She couldn’t tell if he was aware of how he reacted to her touch, how he moved with her, entangling their fingers, his thumb doing some massaging of its own. 

Time stretched, or stood still. This silent touching, this comfort given and taken, created a bubble around them, clearing the air. 

Frank’s breathing slowly returned to normal and eventually he laid his cheek on Karen’s head where it still rested on his shoulder. This was good. This was why she’d come here today, to make sure he had a moment like this where he wasn’t lonely. To make sure he remembered himself. 

Karen closed her eyes, wanting to remember this too, knowing it might never, ever happen again. 

He tensed and Karen’s eyes snapped open, but before she got a chance to worry, Frank’s hand squeezed hers. Reassuring.  _ We’re good.  _

He shifted so she could look up to see a tall black man crouching down to sit on Frank’s other side. Frank was giving him the same silent treatment Karen had received, but his eyes were different. Not so hard, not so dead. The other man gave Frank a sad smile and a shoulder squeeze as he made himself comfortable. 

He and Karen exchanged a look. They didn’t know each other, but that hardly mattered. Apparently, they were the two people on earth who knew Frank Castle well enough to come here looking for him today and actually find him. They were friends. All three of them turned to look outward, gazing at the carousel in the distance. 

She was still holding Frank’s hand, though they’d stopped caressing each other’s fingers. She saw Frank’s friend look at their hands in surprise, but he didn’t say anything. The silence between the three of them was nice. Karen felt a warmth begin to glow inside her. Frank was sitting here, with a person who cared about him on either side. She hoped he felt it and that it did him some good. 

This was so much more than she ever could have hoped for. Knowing that there were other people looking out for Frank was a true gift. Karen had taken a lot of comfort in the fact that Agent Madani had a soft spot for Frank, but with Madani out of the country, Karen had no idea if Frank had any friends left at all. She didn’t know if he had anyone to call. But this guy- Karen could feel the energy between him and Frank- they were brothers. Karen was so happy she could cry. Luckily this time she was able to hold off the tears. 

The sun was beginning to set. Karen could tell that Frank was in good hands. His friend looked like a soldier, maybe a fellow Marine. If she was reading them right, he was an old friend. A good friend. He might be able to get Frank talking. It would be good for him to talk to an old friend on a day like today. It might be easier for him to talk if they were alone. 

Karen didn’t want to burst the bubble of peace that had settled around them. She squeezed Frank’s hand. He turned to her. She loved the relaxed look in his eyes. She’d never seen that before. 

She leaned in slowly, like last time, giving him a chance to back away. He didn’t. She planted a kiss on his cheek, then one more at the corner of his mouth. He watched her like he was trying to memorize her. She blushed. 

She needed to leave now or else she never would. She squeezed his hand one more time and let him go. 

Karen rose, brushing the grass from her skirt. Both men were looking up at her. They were kind of adorable sitting there together. She gave Frank’s friend a smile, silently sending him a thousand thanks for being there. She gave Frank a smile of his own, feeling so many things all at once and wondering what he could decipher from it. 

Karen walked away. 

_ Don’t look back. Don’t look back. _

:::

_**3 Months Later…** _

Frank focused, he breathed. He settled into his position, finding the most natural posture he could. He should lock in a position he could hold for a very long time without moving a muscle. This was pretty much impossible in the crouched stance he was going to have to use, but it didn’t really matter. At war, in certain scout scenarios, you might have to hold a position for hours, but here, today, on this rooftop, he was pretty sure he’d get his job done in a matter of minutes. All he had to do was find the right window.

His skin was crawling. Just like last time he’d had to bring his specific brand of violence to a hospital, he was uncomfortable with it. Hospitals were supposed to be safe places. Frank knew that better than most. However… certain assholes have lost the privilege of being safe from him no matter where they went. Tough shit. 

Frank peered over the ledge and positioned his rifle. Through his scope he triple checked that there was no one else on any of the surrounding rooftops. All was clear. Now all he had to do was search window to window to find his man.

Research told him he’d be in this wing, on this side of the building, but the exact room number was still a mystery. Luckily for Frank, it was nice out. Most windows were open and most lights inside were on, giving him an excellent vantage point into the patient rooms. He started on the east side of the building and worked his way west, his scope focusing in on each window. On the face of whoever was in the sickbed. He knew exactly what his guy looked like, from his bald spot, to his shitty little mustache, to the mole on the right side of his nose. Frank was going to find him and put him down. 

One window to the next, he searched. Old woman. Old man. Old man. Young woman… on and on. He searched 23 rooms before he spotted his mark. Shitbrick was strapped to his bed with a pissed off look on his ugly face, his mouth sneering under that stupid little mustache. He wasn’t alone. There was someone sitting at his bedside and maybe… two more people standing in the room. Didn’t matter. Frank knew what he was doing. One shot. One kill. He’d hit his guy and the other people in the room wouldn’t even know what happened. 

Frank exhaled, slowing his heart rate. He ratcheted the rifle, bringing a bullet to the chamber. Inhale. He slid his hand back down the barrel. Exhale. He brought his finger to the trigger. Inhale. He focused again, directly on his targets face. Exhale. He-

_ Holy fucking shit. _ A blonde flash entered his scope. His finger released the trigger instantly.  _ Karen?  _

Frank felt himself break out into a sweat, the shock of seeing Karen’s beautiful face burst into his scope like that sent fire through his skin.  _ What the hell?  _

Frank leaned back to his scope, hoping like hell he’d been seeing things. He found the right room again quickly. There was that fucker in the bed and…  _ Are you kidding me?  _ Karen pacing around, making big gestures with her hands, looking frustrated. 

Frank couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He was so stunned he made a rookie mistake. He stood straight up, mouth hanging open, gaping at the sight of Karen in that bastard’s hospital room. 

At the exact moment Frank stood up, Karen turned to look out the window. His movement caught her eye. She saw him. He knew it in a split second. He was standing against the evening sky, perfectly silhouetted. Even at a distance he saw her eyes go wide and her jaw drop. Frank felt frozen in place, standing there with his sniper rifle hanging loosely in his arms. Karen’s surprised face turned angry. In a flash, she glared at him and yanked the curtains closed, blocking him out.

Shit.

Frank dropped, pressing his back against the ledge behind him. 

She ruined his shot. The realization clunked uselessly in his head.

He crouched there behind the ledge, breathing heavy, knowing there were a bunch of things he should be doing, but not exactly sure what they were. The sight of Karen scrambled his logic. Frank squeezed his eyes shut, needing his brain to reboot faster. 

_ What the hell, Karen… What are you doing in there with a guy like that? _

He couldn’t believe he’d let her see him.  _ Idiot. _

His hands started breaking apart his rifle on instinct. Mission aborted. Frank’s thoughts started solidifying rapidly. He should leave. Run. She’d seen him. If she called the cops they could be here in minutes. She clearly understood that he was here to take out her _ … client… _ or whatever the hell relationship she had with his target. But in his gut, he knew Karen wasn’t going to tell the cops. Even if she was pissed off at him. She wouldn’t. He was as sure of her as he was of his own aim. It put a little warmth in his belly, like a sip of good coffee. 

The glare she’d given him before pulling the curtains closed... She was definitely pissed off. Frank pressed his lips together, strangely trying to ward off a laugh. Glaring at him or not, it was good to see her. 

_ Shit. _ What if Red was in there with her? 

Frank didn’t really understand how Murdock did what he did, but even if he could somehow sense that Frank was nearby, Frank didn’t think Red would turn him in either. They seemed to have an unspoken truce, an understanding that they both just needed to do what they needed to do. Frank’s heart rate started to slow knowing there was really no rush to flee the scene.

He started taking his time. Wasting his time, really. He zipped his gun bag closed, wondering, hoping… Maybe Karen would come find him. Maybe she’d burst through that emergency door any minute now. He wanted her to. 

He bit the inside of his cheek. Karen Page smashed his plans to bits every time he saw her. She messed him up. But honestly… he didn’t mind. Not one bit. 

Ever since the night they’d collided at that club a few months ago, things had shifted for him somehow. Things had been bad. Frank had to admit it to himself after seeing her.  She’d come out of nowhere, out of a complete fog, and saved his ass, and spelled out his bullshit. 

After the whole whirlwind with the kid, and putting Bill down like the rabid animal he was, and turning away Madani’s last ditch offer for a way out, Frank dove deeper into the dark than ever before. Something slammed closed inside him and locked. He forgot the light. He became the abyss. He became the job, The Punisher. 

It took her tears, her eyes, her voice, her hands- it took the full force of Karen Page to shake him awake. 

Frank hadn’t realized. He’d gotten sloppy. Gone numb. The kamikaze way he blundered into his mission that night… he hadn’t cared about making it out. Seeing himself through her eyes made him wake up and realize that he hadn’t just gotten in the backseat and let the Punisher drive, it was more like the Punisher had locked him in the trunk. 

Frank had been wrestling with it ever since. With the job. With himself. 

He couldn’t just throw himself into oblivion like that. His work was important, even if he was never going to get that ‘after’ Karen wanted for him.

_ God- _ she ripped his fucking heart out that day in the park. 

He’d been freefalling into the void inside himself, when she’d just appeared- like a mirage. All of a sudden, there was Karen Page, like an angel in the sun, spinning a slow circle in the grass. In a pretty blue dress. He could barely take it in, refusing to believe she was real until she was within arms reach. It was too much to absorb. 

She set off a dog fight in his mind. One side of him growling and snarling, wanting her to go away so he could lick his wounds in private, the other side howling, whimpering because he was so glad to see her, to not be alone. 

His chest tightened up everytime he remembered it. The way she cried for him. The way she held his hand. The way her lips felt on his face. 

Frank crept over to the huge air conditioning vents on the roof he’d chosen as his sniper’s nest and pried one of the sides open with his small crowbar. He stashed his bag inside and sealed it back up. He’d hide his gear here. Come back for it later in the dead of night. 

Frank glanced toward the door again, the door Karen would walk through if she wanted to find him. If she wanted to see him bad enough to sneak into the building through the loading dock and climb 9 stories of stairs to get up here. 

She shouldn’t waste her time. 

He hoped she would. 

He missed her. It wasn’t just that he was generally lonely and miserable all the time. He missed  _ her _ . Specifically. 

She made him remember. She always did. From the moment she shoved his family photo in his face, until this moment right now, she always had that effect on him. Karen struck matches against the walls inside him, she lit flickering little flames that burned him at the same time as they illuminated so many things he needed to see. 

It was starting to get dark. Maybe she wouldn’t come. The thought was like a papercut, it stung. One little glimpse of her hadn’t been enough. He wasn’t even mad that she blocked his shot. Hell, he wouldn’t be mad if she stormed through the doors and just slapped him in the face. He’d still be happy to see her. Even if it was just for a few minutes. Even if she just yelled at him the whole- 

The door swung open. 

There she was. She was breathing a little heavy, maybe from all the stairs. She looked exactly like he always pictured her in his mind. So professional. A silky blouse and a pencil skirt, the long, perfect waves of her hair slightly tousled because she can’t keep her hands out of it. She scanned the rooftop searching for him. She had a little wrinkle in her brow. Frank got to his feet. 

The last thing he expected was for her to run to him, to throw her arms around his neck, but that’s what she did. Karen Page was a living, breathing ambush. 

Frank’s arms circled her and held her tight because it was the only thing he could possibly do.  _ Whoa. _ Frank felt his pulse whoosh through him. The feel of her. It was everything his life wasn’t about anymore. Everything he lacked. Everything the last bits of his humanity were hungry for. 

He let himself lean in. Let himself cave, the tiniest bit. Just for a little while… 

“Dammit, Frank.” She breathed. 

It made him smile.

“What the hell are you doing here? Detective Mahoney is here, police are all over the hospital. What are you thinking?”

She hissed all of this into his ear. She sounded so pissed off. He really had to fight against chuckling. 

“Matt’s here too. He knows you’re up here.”

“Uh oh. Now I’m in trouble.” 

Karen pulled back. He could see she wanted to glare at him, but the fire sputtered out behind her eyes. She just looked confused, suspicious. He understood why. He was grinning at her like an idiot.

“What the hell are you smiling about?”

“It's good to see you, Karen.” His arms tightened around her so slightly. 

She blushed. It was pretty. He was getting her all flustered.

“It’s… good to see you too…” She was trying to get a read on him. “Seriously though Frank, what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to take out the trash.” He shrugged, not at all sure why everything about this situation was striking him as funny. “What are  _ you _ doing here? Don’t tell me you’re trying to help a piece of shit like Ramirez.”

She rolled her eyes at him. 

“We’re not helping him. We’re working with him-”

“Christ.” He huffed, good mood fading like a dying lightbulb. 

“Stop.” She snapped. “We’re working with him. He’s not getting off free, he’s still going to prison, but making a deal with him is going to help us put more people behind bars.”

Frank narrowed his eyes at her. “Piece of shit doesn’t deserve a deal.” 

“It’s not about what he deserves.” Karen glared right back at him, as unafraid of his stink eye as ever. “It’s about doing the most good. Putting eight assholes behind bars is better than putting one asshole in the morgue. Don’t you see that?” 

Frank bit back his argument. What was the point? He admired her. He really did. But his way was faster. And permanent. They’d never agree on this. He didn’t want to fight with her. Not right now. 

Karen took his silence as a challenge. Her eyes ignited. She grabbed hold of the front of his jacket. 

“What we’re doing in there is important, Frank. Don’t do anything to him. Don’t you dare.” 

Frank looked down at her little fists on his chest. He clenched his jaw, trying and failing to hide his grin again. What did she think she was going to do? Hold him here? Physically stop him? 

“Ok.” He shrugged. 

She squinted at him.  _ “Ok?” _

“Yeah. If it’s important to you, I’ll leave him. For now.” 

He was telling the truth. He didn’t give a shit about Ramirez. He didn’t give a shit about his job. Not while he had Karen here, all to himself. 

“... Good… ” Her face was all scrunched up, wary of him. Cute. 

She seemed to suddenly notice how close they were. Their arms around each other. Her tight hold on his jacket. Karen's cheeks ripened from pink to red. She stepped back and he let her slip away. 

“You’ll really leave him alone?” She asked. 

She seemed almost shy. Frank ducked his head, leaning close to get her eye contact back. 

“What, you don’t trust me? Believe it or not, I don’t do things deliberately to piss you off.” He smirked at her. “I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of Karen Page.” 

She bit her lip to fight her smile, but the glitter in her eyes punched him in the gut. He made her smile. Amazing.

“Oh yeah? Frank Castle’s scared of little old Karen Page?” She quipped. 

“Hell yeah, he is. He’s shaking. She’s the most stubborn, ferocious, impossible woman on the planet. Plus, she’s packing heat.”

They both laughed. Frank stepped closer again, right back into her space. She didn’t seem to mind. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. He couldn’t help touching her. Not touching her seemed stupid, wasteful, impossible.

Their laughter slowed. They watched each other. 

“You look better.” She exhaled lightly. “I like this.” 

Her fingers brushed his jaw. He’d let his beard grow a little. His mouth tipped up to one side. He didn’t really know what to say. He just wanted to let her keep touching him. As long as she wanted. 

In the corner of his mind, Frank finally let himself glance sideways at the thing he’d refused to allow himself to analyze for all these weeks. Karen had kissed him. The last two times he’d seen her, she kissed him. Light. Brief. But still… And he’d let her. He might’ve even kissed her back. It was hard to tell though. His memory of that night, of holding her on the train, it was all a little hazy. The whole thing had felt so much like a dream, sometimes it was hard to believe that it had been real. 

But she was definitely real, here and now. And he wanted to kiss her. There wasn’t even a question. 

The way she was looking at him. She wanted it too.  _ Why? _ Why the hell would she want-

_ Who cares. _

Frank didn’t want to question it. He just wanted to be close. 

Frank leaned in, touching his forehead to hers. She let him.They breathed together. They swayed. He brushed her nose with his. She lifted her face to him, so open. He leaned in to close that final distance-

“Karen.” Someone else was here. Behind them.

Frank was on high alert in an instant. He grabbed Karen and spun them around, putting his body between her and whoever the hell had found them out. 

But, it was just Murdock. _ Hell. _

Murdock shifted. Frank was glad that he seemed uncomfortable, glad he didn’t seem like he’d come up here to preach Frank a sermon. 

“Matt?” Karen called. 

Her face was bright red, her voice a little higher pitched than normal, but she didn’t step away from Frank. It made him way happier than it should have. 

“Sorry to… interrupt.” Murdock frowned. “But we have to go, Karen. Mahoney wants to talk to all of us, he has a few more questions about tomorrow.”

Karen’s expression looked pained. “Right now?”

Murdock winced. “Yeah. Foggy’s stalling him, but that won’t last long. You know how terrible he is at lying.” 

Frank felt her sigh. He scowled at Murdock, who sensed it somehow, frowning back at him.

“Frank, you can’t move on Ramirez. We have a-”

“Yeah, I know.” Frank snorted at him. “Karen told me.” 

“Oh. Good.” Murdock’s unseeing eyes seemed to study him. 

The blind man shifted on his feet, looking as awkward as they all felt. 

“Karen…” Murdock said, tilting his head toward the stairs, indicating  _ let’s go.  _

_ Fuck you, Murdock. _

“You better be keeping her safe, Red.”

“I am. I’m getting her away from you, aren’t I?” Murdock bit back, instantly taking the bait and rising to Frank’s challenge.

The two men glowered at each other, ready to face off-

_ “OK. _ No thank you.” Karen’s voice was ice. “You two worry about yourselves. I’ll worry about me.”

She pushed out of Frank’s arms, looking more annoyed at the two of them than they were at each other combined. Frank flinched and wanted to apologize, but it stuck in his throat. It helped that Matt looked shamefaced too. They were being idiots.

Karen stood between them. She got that far away look she had sometimes. Like she was wishing things were different. Easier, and less complicated. 

_ That’s not our story, Sweetheart.  _

Karen looked at Frank over her shoulder. There was a little flip in his belly. 

“Take care, Frank.” 

So soft. He wished they could be alone, for just a little longer. 

“You too, Karen.” 

She turned, walked past Matt, and headed down the stairs without a look back. She never looked back. 

“Frank.” Murdock said. A goodbye.

“Red.” Frank nodded back. 

They weren’t enemies. Not really. 

Frank waited on the roof after they left. He stayed long after the police cleared the scene. He had nowhere to be. 

He missed her already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day, Friends:)
> 
> I'm so glad you took the time to read this and I hope you enjoyed it!  
> And to so many of you who leave encouraging kudos and insightful comments- I can't thank you enough! You make the process of writing so so so fun and meaningful:) The community in this fandom is amazing.  
> Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

_**3 Weeks Later…** _

Karen clicked her fingernails on the smooth armrest of her chair, the bright colors dazzling her eyes. When was the last time she got a manicure? It must have been years. She smiled. Karen loved Foggy and Matt like brothers, but  _ good grief _ it was nice to have some close female friends again. 

Karen had lived enough lonely years to know and deeply appreciate that she’d hit the jackpot. She found a group of women who were not only strong, smart, admirable human beings, but who had also seen some shit and survived. They understood each other. Supported each other. They helped each other deal with their ghosts, and importantly, they reminded each other to actually  _ live _ , to literally let their hair down and have fun. 

Today was a perfect example of this. They’d all been swamped and hadn’t been able to get together in weeks. So, Trish hit up the group text and demanded a ‘girls day’. Everyone was on board except Jess, who delivered her typical blunt refusal before giving in about an hour later due harassment from the rest of them. 

Karen looked over at Jess, the two of them had developed a particularly strong bond. It was good to see Jess smiling. She and Trish were getting their toes done. They had their heads buried in a magazine, grinning and gossiping like Karen imagined they’d probably been doing since they were kids. She was so glad they’d gotten their relationship back on track. Karen knew what it was like to lose your family and what it was like to be estranged from the only family you have left. It was soul sucking. Jess and Trish had a lot of baggage behind them, but they were sisters. They were better together. 

Trish said something that made Jess roll her eyes and puff out her cheeks like she was pretending to vomit. Trish’s laugh filled the whole room. It was good. 

Karen grinned and shifted her gaze over to Colleen and Claire, both women relaxed back in their puffy recliners, faces covered in some sort of green goo. No one had seen Claire in ages and the fact that she'd been able to make it out today made everything perfect. Of all of them, she was the hardest to get ahold of. She worked too much. Thank God she loved her job. 

Karen’s eyes flickered down to Colleen’s fingers, now glittering with a fresh coat of silvery paint. The power in those hands made Karen’s mind spin. She wondered… if she activated The Iron Fist, would the nail polish bubble up and burn off? How did it work? 

Colleen had tried to explain it a few times, but Karen was still confused. However it worked, it was so cool. 

Everyone was relaxed and happy. Karen was sitting near the window, enjoying the sun, her feet needing to soak for at least another 15 minutes in the blissfully warm footbath before they’d get started on her pedi. She turned away from her silent observation of her friends and closed her eyes, leaning toward the sunlight streaming in on her from the window. So content, practically purring.

A while later Karen flickered her eyes back open. It was so bright. She had to blink a few times to bring the world into focus. And when she did, her heart slammed against her ribs. 

Right there, in the shadow of a doorway across the street, was the face she always wanted to see. The face she searched for in every crowd.

Her eyes went wide and her mouth flew open in a gasp, but she cut her breath short, not wanting anyone else to notice what or who she was looking at out the window. She shot a glance around the room. Her friends were all doing their own thing. No one had noticed her slight shock. She turned back to the window. 

Frank was leaning up against the wall, ball cap on and hood up, hands in his pockets. He seemed relaxed. How long had he been standing there, just watching her?

He looked healthy. Not a bruise in sight. His beard was longer, but not wild like the last time she’d seen it long. It looked like he was actually taking care of himself. He looked better than just healthy, he looked  _ good. _

Karen smiled at him. He was smirking, looking way too pleased with himself for catching her by surprise. He was doing that thing, his head slightly rocking back and forth, teasing her with just the look on his face. 

_ Ass. _ She grinned back. 

They stared at each other from across the street, smiling like fools. Frank made a show of looking up and reading the ridiculous pink sparkly sign for the spa she was in. He raised his eyebrows. Karen brought her hand up near her face and wiggled her fingers at him, showing off her bright red nails. 

He nodded appreciatively. Karen wanted to sigh. Did he know how handsome he was when he smiled like that? Did he have any idea? 

He pushed off of the wall, tilting his head at her. A question. 

She couldn’t tell if he was asking her to come outside, or asking if he could come inside, but either way, the answer was the same. Karen felt a thump of disappointment in her belly. She turned to look back at her friends in the spa. 

Karen didn’t want any of them to notice Frank. As understanding as they were, it would still probably end badly. Karen’s gaze darted to Misty, who was wrapped up in a robe on the other side of Colleen with cucumbers on her eyes. Misty wouldn’t let it lie. She was too close to Brett. Too dedicated to her job. 

Karen turned back to Frank in the window, hoping she could convey with her eyes how much she wished they could talk, that they could just have a moment. But no. Now now. She pressed her fingers to the window and gave him the smallest shake of her head. 

_ No. I’m sorry. I wish.  _

He ducked his head in a nod. Understanding. He took a few steps to get a better view into the spa. Karen was sure he wouldn’t be able to identify anyone else from all the way across the street, but as he scanned the space his eyes lingered on Colleen with suspicion.  _ Jeeze, sniper eyes. _ When his gaze landed on Jessica he froze. 

Karen’s vision wasn’t as good as his, but she could still tell he was clenching his jaw. He closed his eyes and shook his head, like he was in disbelief. When his eyes opened again he was giving her his Punisher stare. She could read his mind, practically hear his growly voice all pissed off at her. 

_ Goddammit Karen, are you friends with every shit-magnet in town? Why the hell are you always around dangerous people? _

Karen tried not to laugh. His glares had never scared her. He should stop trying. 

Karen plucked up her champagne and took a theatrically elegant drink. When the glass was drained she shrugged at him, biting her lip to contain her grin.

_ You can’t tell me what to do.  _

He could read her as well as she read him, and he accurately interpreted her gesture. He shook his head again, but this time he was smiling, rolling his eyes at her. 

_ You’re stubborn.  _ His narrowed eyes accused.

She raised her eyebrows back at him.  _ You are. _

They watched each other. Nothing could break their silent communication, not the passing cars, not the crossing people. They were locked on each other. 

Karen traced her finger along her jaw.  _ I like your beard. _

Frank looked off to the side, all bashful. He even shifted on his feet, not knowing what to say even though they weren’t actually saying anything. Karen’s heart fluttered.  _ God, _ did he have any idea? _At all?_

She looked back at her friends. They were starting to shuffle around the room, on to the next station for more pampering. She couldn’t risk them noticing her talking to Frank. 

She looked back at him, brow furrowed, tilting her head meaningfully. 

_ You should go. _

Frank nodded, but didn’t move. 

Karen got a gut instinct and allowed herself to follow it. She pressed her fingers to her lips, gave them a little kiss, then pressed the kiss to the window. 

Frank’s smile got smaller, softer. He finally took one hand out of his pocket to give her a small wave goodbye. 

Karen watched him walk down the block until she couldn’t see him anymore. 

That might’ve been the best conversation they ever had. 

She needed more champagne. 

  
  


:::

  
  


_**2 Months Later…** _

_ 58… 59… 60… _

Frank’s breathing had only just started to get heavy, he’d barely broken a sweat, but he sat back on his ankles, taking a break from his pushups. His shoulder needed a rest. He’d dislocated it again a couple of weeks ago and knew, even though it felt fine, was barely aching anymore, now was not the time to push his luck. He needed to lay off it and let himself heal completely. He wasn’t as young as he used to be. 

Frank got up, wincing at the crackling sound his knees made. Now that really made him feel like an old man. 

He paced around his small room, a dingy little basement he’d been using as home base for a while now. Frank felt claustrophobic. Restless. He’d been playing it careful, giving himself real time to recover from his most recent injuries. A run in with the new Irish outfit in town had left him with a bum shoulder and a couple of bruised ribs. He knew he needed to let it rest.

The main problem was that boredom chafed at him. It left too much time for thinking. Too much thinking never led to anything good. He’d either end up in a useless pile on his mattress wishing he was dead, or tearing out into the city looking for any excuse to do some damage. 

Frank’s mind longed for distraction, his muscles burned with a need to be used. He glanced up at the pull-up bar he’d installed above the doorjamb to his bathroom. That would spend his energy. He could strap some extra weight on and just work until he was spent and his head cleared. But, that would fuck up his shoulder. It would make the healing take longer. Goddammit. 

He shook his head wryly at the thought of going for a run. Like a normal guy. Better yet, like a rich asshole who didn’t have to be at work at any particular time, who could just go for a run in the middle of the day. 

Well, technically Frank was rich. And an asshole. With a very flexible work schedule. 

He smirked and looked over at his clock. It was barely 6am. He might just do it. He was bored enough that he might just try to burn off his energy with a run in a little while. Did he even have shoes for that kind of shit anymore? 

He walked over to his kitchen and scooped a mountain of dark black grounds into the coffee maker. “Kitchen”, what a laugh. It was really just a sink with a bit of counter space for his coffee maker and a hotplate, next to a mini fridge. 

This place was a shithole. He should get a better one.  _ Hm.  _ The idea struck him as a surprise. He leaned into it. 

The thought of living in a place that was actually somewhat comfortable was all wrapped up in the sideways efforts he’d been making to take better care of himself over the last few months. His occasional run-ins with Karen had started a weird snowball effect. It was hard to explain. Every time he saw her she reminded him of so many things. She made him feel conflicted on all the things he told himself were black and white, cut and dry. It was confusing. 

Frank had made his choices. The Punisher chose the war. He’d officially stopped thinking about the future, and as much as he could... he tried not to think about the past. He'd been only present tense, only on mission. But it hadn’t worked out all that well. That nihilism, or masochism, or whatever it was- it made him sloppy. 

So Frank had been trying harder, taking better care, making better plans. 

It was a hell of a mindfuck though, because taking care of himself felt like planning for an “after”. The kind of light-at-the-of-the-tunnel  _ after _ that Karen wanted for him. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. There was no cozy, happy ending. Not for him. That’s what he told Karen at the hospital. 

And she’d told him to make it all mean something. 

He wanted to. He was trying. But, making it mean something had side effects. It made him want things he shouldn’t want. It gave him hunger pains in parts of him he was trying to starve to death. 

Frank winced, not in the mood for this level of introspection. His coffee was starting to smell good. He picked up his phone from where it laid plugged in on the floor near his bed, permanently set to silent. 

He squinted at the screen. 2 missed calls from Curt. 5:30am and 5:55am.  _ Weird. _

There were two texts as well.

_ You ok?  _ 5:20am

_ You need anything, you call me.  _ 5:45am.

_ … What the hell?  _

Something had Curt all riled up.

They’d been seeing more of each other since that day at the park. Things were different now. After Karen kissed his face and walked away, Frank and Curtis talked. Really talked. Long and brutal and honest, the most he’d opened up to anyone in years. And Frank wasn’t the only one pouring out. Curt had so much to unload, from being back from war missing a leg, to having throught Frank was dead, to group, to Lewis, to the last batch of bullshit with Bill, Madani, and the kid… he’d been through a shit storm. They both had. 

They meet up now, semi-regularly, for coffee or whatever. They even go out for beers sometimes, like regular old vets. But usually they stuck to quieter places. Being around crowds, hearing loud, carefree laughter… it was a little like salt in their wounds. It set them both on edge. 

Curt had finally started to relax around Frank again, finally joking around instead of grilling him with questions. Lately, he’d been seeing more of Curt’s easy smile and less of his worried frown. So, what was with the early morning check-in? 

Frank scrolled through the newsfeed on his phone while he poured himself some coffee. He didn’t see anything to raise a red flag about. He’d have gotten an alert if “The Punisher” had showed up anywhere in the news.

Huh. 

Something had Curt spooked. Frank would call him in a bit, but for now he just texted back.  _ All good. _

He gulped more coffee before ducking outside to grab a newspaper from the rack on the corner of his block. 

Frank refilled his mug while opening up The Bulletin. He smiled. He always thought of Karen when he read The Bulletin even though she didn’t work there anymore. He wasn’t exactly sure why she left. He knew it had something to do with the fake Daredevil and the attack that had happened there while he was gone. Part of him was desperate to know what happened, but the few times he’d gotten to see her hadn’t been the right moment to ask. He crossed paths with Red every once in a while, but knew better than to bring it up. Frank and Murdock weren’t enemies, but any mention of Karen seemed to fray the threads of their unspoken truce. 

Whatever her reason was for leaving The Bulletin, she seemed happy working with Nelson and Murdock. That was enough for Frank to leave it well enough alone. If Karen Page was happy, Frank would stand down. No questions asked. 

He smiled to himself remembering the last time he saw her, waving her bright red fingernails at him in that salon window. Pretty. 

Frank sat on his bed, spreading out paper, still a little on edge from Curt’s texts, but none of the headlines struck any alarms in his head. It was just Wednesday in Hell’s Kitchen. Some politicians were making speeches. Some actress got engaged to some singer. Sports were sports, weather was weather. Nothing to see here. 

Frank flipped through the paper. Did they still have apartment listings in the paper these days? The idea of getting a place with a real kitchen was starting to grow on him. He flipped through the pages as the articles got smaller and smaller, searching through the tiny ads for apartments, jobs, and bizarre personals, and… 

Karen’s face.

The page ripped as Frank’s hand spasmed, became a fist. 

A small photo of Karen’s beautiful face was staring up at him from the paper. His eyes flew to the top of the page- Obituaries.

No. No. 

This can’t be real. Frank scanned the blip of an article under her photo in a trance… 

_ “Karen Page, 32, former journalist for The Bulletin, has died, succumbing to injuries sustained in a car accident. Born in Fagan Corners, Vermont, Page leaves behind no surviving family members. There will be no public visitation or ceremony. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to Metro General Hospital.”  _

Frank’s hands were shaking. A ringing was slowly building up in his ears. He forced his eyes to focus again on her photo, her sweet smile.  _ God…  _ Frank gasped like he’d just come up from underwater, he’d stopped breathing the moment he saw her face. Frank whipped the paper across the room. He stood, began to pace.

_ Karen. NO- _

This could not be happening. This wasn’t real. Karen was fine. She had to be. If anything happened to her… The city would be on fire, wouldn’t it? The earth would crack open and swallow Hell’s Kitchen whole, right? Frank turned back to his bed and grabbed at his phone. He’d had her number for months now. He promised himself he’d never call. But he had to now. He had to. 

_ Pick up, please-  _

It didn’t ring. It didn’t even go to voicemail. A robotic voice told him her mailbox was full.

FUCK. 

Karen. Good, brave, beautiful… gone- 

Frank groaned, his lungs were squeezing shut. It felt like he was being stabbed, over and over again in the chest. The ringing in his ears was turning into a scream.

He rushed over to where he’d thrown the paper and fell to his knees, ripping and tearing the paper apart, desperately searching for the obituary page again. He found it. Read it again. Read it again. 

_ What the hell was this? _ It didn’t even say when it happened… 

Frank registered his own tears falling on the page. One landed on her face. Now she was crying. He choked on his own breath, a scream stuck in his throat. 

_ Please. Karen. No no no no.  _

Frank’s mind was a mess. It refused to accept this- that the only good thing in this entire shit sewer of a city was gone. That the only light in his life was snuffed out, and he hadn’t been there, he hadn’t even known. 

The fucking obituary explained nothing. He needed answers. He needed someone to look him in the face and tell him what happened, and how, and who needed to die. 

Grief was hardening into rage. Yes. This was better.

The lawyers. If anyone had answers, it would be them.  _ GO. _

Frank sped. The world was nothing but a blur in his windshield. Flashes of Karen whirred through his mind, playing out like little movies, ripping him to shreds. She smiled at his bedside, talking with her hands, telling him about gingersnaps and spaceships. She glared at him across a table, challenging him to hope when all he wanted to do was give up and rot in his jail cell. She handed him a beer in her apartment, both mad and glad in that classic Karen Page way. She touched his arm in an elevator, eyes on fire. She touched his arm at the hospital, eyes haunted. She… kissed him on the train. Frank’s heart wrenched in his chest. In his mind’s eye the movie continued. Karen walking to him in the park. Slow motion. Holding his hand. She laughed with him on the rooftop making little fists in his jacket. She pressed her fingers to her lips, then to the salon window. Another kiss for him. The last one. 

Pain and fury were beasts inside him, battling it out, each overpowering the other minute by minute. The realization that he’d never see Karen again, never piss her off, never make her laugh, never catch her by surprise ever again was sinking in.

He could feel it now. The world had changed. It was bleak. Somehow worse. The sun wasn’t gold and warm, it was a white heat. It was evil and harsh. The sky wasn’t blue like Karen’s eyes, it was a molted blotch, a bruise over the world. 

_ Fuck-  _ he should have gone to her. That day he’d seen her getting her nails done, or any of the days afterward when he’d been thinking of her, missing her... he should have gone to her. He didn’t know what he should have said, but he should have told her  _ something _ . How she was the best thing in his shitty life and he didn’t know what to do about it, but would she please let help him figure it out… Could he please come closer? Could he please stay a while? Could she please touch his face like she did sometimes and make the whole world quiet down? 

He should have gone to her a thousand times, even if he didn’t have any answers and he didn’t know what to say… He should have. But he didn’t. And now she’s gone. Gone. 

Frank parked illegally in front of the lawyer’s butcher shop, not giving a shit. He took the stairs with lead feet. While he was speeding here he’d been prepared to charge into their office, to break in if they didn’t open up. He’d been ready to shout and demand answers, to beat the information out of them if he had to, but now he was here... he felt weak. 

He got to their door and read the placard there. 

“Nelson, Murdock & Page”

Reading her name was a blow. Frank turned the knob and let the door swing open. 

The two men he was looking for were inside. They froze mid-turn, like they were seeing a ghost. Frank stared back for a long time before crossing the threshold and stepping inside. No one else was there, it was still too early for clients. Frank closed the door behind him, the rattling sound seemed explosive in the dead silence hanging between the three of them. 

Frank had no idea where to even start. The lawyers just watched him, grim and silent. Frank felt his last bit of hope flicker out and die. He tried to speak, but choked. He gulped down the lump in his throat and tried again.

“What… How did it happen?” His voice sounded wretched.

Murdock and Nelson exchanged a look. Red turned back to Frank.

“There was a car accident. In Queens.” 

His breath was kicked out of him. He’d never get it back.

_ “...When?” _

Murdock flinched. “Three days ago.”

Frank’s vision started to tunnel. He might black out. He sank into one of the chairs that lined the wall. His elbows went to his knees and he tried to breathe it out. 

This was it. It was true. 

God. Frank buried his face in both hands and felt himself losing it. He was free falling. He groaned. He let his tears fall. He didn’t give a shit about the other two men in the room. She was gone… 

He didn’t look up when he heard the lawyers moving, didn’t look up when Nelson sat down in the chair next to him. 

“Matt, I can’t do this-  _ look _ at him…” Frank heard Nelson say through the ringing in his ears. 

“Foggy, don’t-” Murdock tried to cut him off, but Nelson wasn’t listening. 

“Mr. Castle, Karen is ok. We had to fake her death to keep her safe. But she’s ok.”

_...what? _

Frank’s head rose slowly, he swiped at his eyes. He needed to make sure he heard correctly. 

“What?”

“Karen’s alive.” Nelson said, cautiously. 

Frank’s eyes were boring holes into the red headed lawyer, certain he couldn’t have heard him right.

“She’s alive… ”

“Yes.” Nelson nodded for emphasis.

Frank’s pulse swooshed in his ears.  _ Thank fuck- what? Karen- _

“Where is she?” 

“We can’t tell you.”

Everything that had been cold and dead inside him just a few moments ago, started burning. Frank felt like he could breath smoke.

“...You can’t tell me?” 

Murdock finally spoke up. “It’s to keep her safe, Frank.” 

“What do you mean, keep her safe?” He was slowly rising to his feet, starting to see red. “You- you just let me believe she was dead...”

“We had to.” Red bit through his teeth, stepping up, just as eager for this fight as Frank was.

Frank sprang at Murdock wanting to choke him, wanting to beat his smug face in, but Nelson jumped between them. Frank was ready to rip him apart too, but hesitated. The look on the kid’s face- 

“Mr. Castle! We had to keep the secret from everyone- even her closest friends! We’re protecting her!” 

“From  _ me? _ ” Frank barked at him. 

Matt scoffed. 

_ Fuck you. _ Frank surged toward Murdock again, but Nelson yanked him back as hard as he could. Frank glowered at the red head, not understanding anything, ready to break the kid’s fingers if he didn’t let go of his shirt real quick.

“No- not from you! From Benjamin Poindexter.” Nelson hissed. 

Frank froze. He knew that name. That was the FBI agent. The fake Daredevil who’d tried to kill Karen. The edges of Frank’s rage started to crystallize in fear. 

Karen was alive, but she was in danger. Real danger. 

Frank shrugged out of Nelson’s grip and took a step back. He glared at both of them, furious, but knowing that his temper was going to get him nowhere. He needed them to trust him. They had to believe that if they were on Karen’s side, then he was on their side. Period.

Frank took a breath and sliced his hand through the air to signal  _ ‘we’re starting over.’ _

“OK. Explain.” He paused, making eye contact with both of them. “Please.”

Nelson looked to Red, who could sense it somehow. Red sighed. 

“Poindexter was an FBI agent assigned to Fisk. He has an ability I can barely understand. He’s unstable… and really good and killing people. Fisk manipulated him. He got him to pretend to be the Daredevil and murder anyone that could testify against him. Poindexter would do anything Fisk ordered.” Red winced. “ And Fisk specifically assigned him to kill Karen.” 

Frank took it all in, cataloguing every word. He nodded at Murdock to continue. Murdock sighed. 

“When it all ended, Fisk was sent back to prison and Poindexter’s back was broken. No one ever thought he’d be able to walk again.” Murdock paused, looking strained and exhausted. “Apparently, in prison, Poindexter was able to volunteer for an experimental medical procedure. He’s cured. He broke out of prison about month ago and… he’s fixated on Karen, on finishing his job.”

Red pinned Frank to the floor with his unseeing gaze. 

“He’s dangerous, Frank. I’ve never seen anything like it. We were barely able to beat him last time.”

Frank understood. “So you faked her death. You hid her away until this asshole is taken care of.”

Red nodded, gravely. 

“So, where is she?” Frank asked.

Murdock and Foggy looked at each other, but didn’t answer his question. 

“Tell me where she is.” Frank growled at them. 

They were acting like Karen wasn’t his to protect. Like it wasn’t his job. Like he wasn’t the one who was supposed to die to protect her. 

“We can’t tell you, Frank.” Murdock said with a steely voice. “We can’t tell anyone. It’s to keep her safe.”

In a flash, Frank was seeing red again. Fuck Murdock and his 'keeping her safe' bullshit. Karen was his to keep safe.  _ HIS. _

“You want to keep her safe, Red? Maybe you should have done what needed to be done in the first place!” Frank shouted, advancing on him again. “Poindexter and Fisk should be in the ground! What the hell is it going to take for you to see that? You don’t give pieces of shit like that another chance- you  _ end it! _ You make sure they can never hurt anyone ever again!”

_ What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he understand? What the fuck was it going to take? Karen dying? Her blood on all of their hands?  _

“If I’d been there, this problem would have been solved. It would be over.” Frank bit out through his teeth. 

“Yeah, but you weren’t there, Frank.” Murdock snarled. “You weren’t there. Karen can’t count on you. She wouldn’t even know where to call if she wanted to. I’m the one who’s there for her.”

It was a kick to the ribs. Murdock was right. But before Frank could come up with anything to say, Nelson spoke up. 

“Actually,  _ I’m _ the one who’s there for her. You guys have been total assholes.” Nelson scowled at the both of them. “Matt, you blew it a long time ago. And Mr. Castle, I don’t know how you can have a woman like Karen Page care about you the way she does and not move heaven and earth to…”

Nelson trailed off, shaking his head in disgust. 

Both Frank and Murdock stared at Nelson, wide-eyed. Goddamn. 

Frank could see why Nelson and Karen got along so well. They were both stubborn, and fiercely loyal, and had brass balls that would surprise you the moment you underestimated them. 

Frank shifted on his feet. Trying to re-focus on what was important, not on the fact that what Nelson just said about him and Karen was making his head spin. The kid was right. He and Murdock needed to get their heads out of their asses. If Karen was as safe as they said he was, Frank didn’t need to press for her location right now. 

“OK. ok.” Frank ducked his head, nodding, raising a white flag. “I want to help.” 

Nelson and Murdock exchanged a look again. Frank was getting really tired of their silent communication. The fact that he had no idea  _ how the hell _ Murdock was doing it just made it worse. 

“We have a plan.” Murdock said, lowering his voice the same way Frank had. “It’ll take a few days to set up, but the key players are pretty much ready to go. It's me, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Trish Walker and Colleen Wing… I don’t know if you-”

“Yeah. I know who they are.” Frank cut him off. “I’m in.” 

Murdock's mouth pressed into a flat line. “No.” 

Frank fought back his temper, stretching his neck on one side then the other. 

“Red, at the end of this- you need someone who can take Poindexter out. I know it’s not your thing, and that’s fine. I’ll do it.”

“No.” 

_ Fucking Altar Boy-  _

“He needs to be put  _ down, _ Red.” Frank seethed.

“He’s mentally ill, Frank. He needs help.” 

Frank shook his head, in disbelief. “What the hell is it going to take for you to make the tough call, huh? This guy doesn’t get another chance. Face it, Red- you can’t do this without me. Your little team needs me there to finish the job that you can’t finish yourself!”   


_ “My God!” _ It was Nelson shouting at him this time. His face going redder than his hair. “Did you hear who’s on this  _ ‘little team’? _ Get over yourself! Matt’s the Daredevil! He has Luke Cage and Jessica Jones! Trish Walker is one of the best fighters I’ve ever seen and Colleen Wing is the Immortal Freaking Iron Fist! They don’t need you!”

Foggy took a breath, deflating, like he’d just made a decision he didn’t like. 

“They don’t need you, Frank. But Karen does.”

Frank was at a loss for words, and not just because this was the first time Nelson called him Frank instead of Mr. Castle. 

“Karen needs you. She’s alone right now, and scared, and…” He paused, the tips of his ears going redder still. “... I know how much it would mean to her if you were there with her.”

Longing for Karen hit Frank like a bullet in the chest, it winded him. Foggy was glaring daggers at him. 

“But I know how this has played out before. She told me.” He said, frowning. “When you get the choice between Karen and a fight, you blow it. She deserves better.”

Frank gulped. Guilty as charged.

Nelson gave him a stern look, like a judge about to hand him a life sentence. 

“You need to choose, Mr. Castle. I can tell you where Karen is. You can go be with her right now, where you’re actually needed. Or, you can go with Matt and fight for the sake of fighting. But you can’t have both.”

Matt huffed, but Frank barely noticed. He was staring at Nelson. 

Nelson raised his eyebrows at Frank. “Choose. Karen or another war. What’ll it be?” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Friends!! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! I'm really enjoying writing these moments for Frank and Karen. It feels good to write things that jolt Frank out of his Punisher mindset and get him back to the land of the living:) 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has left kudos and comments! Getting to interact with you all as the chapters unfold is so fun, and encouraging, and honestly brings new ideas to my mind all the time that propel the story forward. Thank you for REALS.


	4. Chapter 4

Karen made her way slowly back. Taking her time. Wasting her time. 

Her walks through the woods spiderwebbed out from the little cabin she currently called home, and this time she found a pretty little stream, sparkling and mossy green. 

She took off her shoes and waded in. The water was shockingly cold, it took her breath away even though she’d only gotten in knee deep. Now, on her way back home, she was shivering. The sun catching her through gaps in the green canopy above wasn’t quite enough to fight back the chill. 

Karen didn’t mind the cold. It was something of a distraction and any distraction was welcome at this point. The isolation of this place was weighing on her. She tried to read, she tried to cook… but she couldn’t concentrate on her books, and she wasn’t hungry. The only solution was walking. Occasionally the stunning beauty of the wilderness around her helped, but most of the time she was trapped in her head no matter how expansive and awe inspiring her surroundings. 

Karen couldn’t stop thinking about her friends, wishing she knew what was going on, praying to God that they were all ok. She was glad she didn’t have the temptation of her cellphone, she’d had to leave it behind when they faked her death. It probably wouldn’t have worked up here in the mountains anyway. Karen had only been here for 3 days, but it felt like a thousand years. How many miles has she put on her soul running endless scenarios in her mind? Of things going wrong, of her friends getting hurt, of any one of them dying… because of her... 

She couldn’t help her thoughts spinning out. Everything had happened so fast. 

Benjamin Poindexter began sending her packages a few weeks ago, just days after she’d gotten notice that he escaped the hospital where he was incarcerated. Envelopes started arriving at her apartment and the office. They were filled with photos of her. Very current photos. At first Karen tried to brush it off, thinking he was just trying to scare her, to show he knew where she lived and that he could get to her if he wanted. But then the letters started showing up. Long, ranting, handwritten madness, proving his insanity, his obsession with her and with finishing the job Wilson Fisk had assigned him. 

Then one night, Karen was on her way home from work and Poindexter was waiting for her, staked out on the fire escape of her building. If Matt hadn’t been there… if he hadn’t sensed him…

Karen shivered again, trying to shake off the thought. 

A plan was put in motion like a runaway train. Karen was barely able to keep up. Matt and Jessica set up the car accident, Foggy let the whole world know she was dead, all of her friends ganged up on her, forcing her out of town. 

Matt and Jess wouldn’t even tell her what they were planning. It was awful. Karen fought it tooth and nail and tears, but they wouldn’t budge. And as much as she hated it, Karen knew they were right. Something had to be done about Poindexter and Karen would just be in the way. Everyone else had special abilities, or skills to put up a real fight, but Karen was just Karen. A mess. Who couldn’t stay out of trouble even when she tried. Who put people she loved in danger. Who left wreckage in her wake. 

In the end, it had been a tearful Foggy who’d finally convinced her to get out of town and let the others handle it. Trish drove her up here, deep into the Catskills. To this cabin she bought several years ago when she’d had a Patsy stalker. She’d used this place as a retreat while Jess took care of that creep. It was as secret and off the grid as a place could be. No phone, no internet, no neighbors for miles. Even the deed was under an alias. Karen had hoped that maybe Trish would stay with her, but as soon as she’d gotten Karen settled in with enough supplies to last for weeks, she headed back toward her car. Karen had been furious. They were just going to leave her here on top of this mountain with no car? She lost it. She eventually wore Trish down enough to finally get her to admit that she wished she could stay there with Karen. She really did. But she had to get back… they needed her for the plan. 

And in that moment Karen knew that some way, somehow, beautiful, brave,  _ blonde _ Trish was going to pretend to be Karen. They were going to use her as a decoy, bait in some way to lure Poindexter. Trish was risking her life for her.  All the fight inside Karen died. She clung to Trish in a hug, knowing it was no use to ask her not to do it… they’d already been over that. A hundred times. 

Karen sat on the back porch as Trish’s taillights faded into the forest. And the silence fell like a blanket. Or a straightjacket. 

That first day had been the worst. Since then, Karen was determined not to waste away up here on this mountainside. She went for walks. She cooked way more elaborate meals than she normally ever would in real life… even though she barely had the appetite to eat anything. She poked around the shed out back and was thrilled to find an old motorcycle. It even had half a tank of gas. Karen was no expert biker, but a boyfriend in highschool had taken her on a lot of rides. He’d taught her a few things and let her drive once or twice. If she really needed to- she could use this bike to get out of here. If she could only find the damn keys…

_ Those keys have to be in here somewhere. _ Karen mused, as she climbed the 3 creaky steps up the back porch. She let herself in and sighed, closing the door behind her, locking it, and surveying the cabin. As much as she hated being trapped up here alone while everyone she loved was in danger, Karen had to admit… this cabin was amazing. 

Though Trish had bought it to be a safe house, over the years she’d turned it into a luxurious rustic paradise. It was decadent, like something stolen from the pages of a magazine. The entire place was one big room that had a wall of floor to ceiling windows facing a steep mountainside drop off. The view of the pine covered peaks was breathtaking. In the center of the room loomed a giant stone fireplace that, much to Karen’s delight, was gas powered, so she could fire it up with the flip of a switch. In front of the fire was a plush lambskin rug, oversized leather furniture, and a big TV which, ironically, was only hooked up to a VCR, so could only play the odd assortment of VHS tapes Trish kept on a small shelf. In the corner near the wall of windows was a huge four poster bed with the softest pillows and blankets Karen had ever touched. The adjacent corner was the nicest, most well equipped kitchen Karen could imagine. 

The cabin was so amazing that Karen felt like an asshole for barely being able to enjoy any of it. But how could she? This wasn’t a vacation.

Karen went to the kitchen and grabbed an apple. She stared at it, knowing she should eat but not feeling hungry at all. She set it back in its bowl. 

There was a noise outside. Faint, distant.

She froze. Was she imagining it… or did she just hear rumbling? Like a car? Her pulse spiked. No one else lived anywhere near here. The drive to the cabin was secret and unkempt, a passing car wouldn’t even recognize it as a road from the highway. 

She heard it again. For sure this time. A vehicle was approaching. 

SHIT. 

Karen fought back the wave of fear that spread through her and ran to the bed. She’d been sleeping with her gun on the nightstand. She grabbed the .380, trying to stay cool, reminding herself that it might be Trish. The nightmare might be over and someone might be here to take her back home. 

Karen breathed deep as she slowly made her way toward the back door. The car stopped, it’s tires crunched the gravel in the drive. Karen willed away her fear. All of her friends were out there fighting for her, but right now- she needed to fight for herself. If someone was coming after her, they were going to fucking regret it. She cocked her gun. 

Karen crouched, ducking below the windows as she made it to her back door. She steeled herself and leaned, incredibly slowly, up to the window. She tried to move the curtain as little as possible as she peeked outside. 

A black sedan. She didn’t recognize the car. Shit shit  _ shit _ . 

The driver opened their door slowly, like they didn’t want to make any noise. 

_ Here we go. _

The driver leaned out of the car and stood up. His face was slightly obscured by a hood, but-

Karen would recognize that man anywhere. 

Her heart slammed against her ribs. She ducked behind the curtains again, pressing her back to the wall. How?  _ How? _

She was trembling. She forced herself to turn back to the window, to check again to make sure she wasn’t completely crazy. She pulled the curtain. 

There he was, squinting at the cabin, looking a little unsure if he would approach or not. 

_ Frank. _

A dam somewhere inside Karen burst wide open. Suddenly, she needed him.  _ Needed _ him. She dropped her gun, scrabbled for the door, and was out of the cabin, running for him. He barely had time to shut his car door and open his arms by the time she launched herself at him. 

In his arms. 

It was surreal. She was in Frank’s arms, holding on as tight as she could, praying to God this wasn’t a dream. He was holding her just as tight. Swaying. Rocking her. Whispering into her hair.  _ Alright. We’re ok. I gotcha. _

He did. He had her. 

How the hell was he here right now? 

When she was ready, Karen slowly lifted her face from where it was buried in his neck. She stared at him, pulse racing. Frank’s eyes were a little glassy. His lips a little pouty. His beard was full, the way she liked it best. He felt so solid under her hands. It was a relief as she was currently feeling a little wobbly herself. 

His eyes were eating her up, putting butterflies in her belly.

“How?” She asked, and wasn’t surprised that her voice came out in a whisper. 

He looked off to the side before flickering his gaze back to her eyes, like he was suddenly shy. “Let’s talk inside. Is that ok?”

She nodded, almost wanting to laugh. He’s always so polite when he wants to come inside. 

Frank made brief fists in her shirt before he let her go. Karen stepped back, tousling her hair, suddenly not knowing what to do with her hands. He popped open his trunk and grabbed a big duffel bag. Then he stood here, shuffling his feet, like he was waiting for something. 

_ Oh.  _

Karen realized he wanted her to lead the way into the cabin, like he needed to be extra sure he was actually allowed inside. The butterflies in side her were fluttering all around. 

Karen headed back to the cabin, tilting her head for him.  _ Come in. _ He entered carefully. Like a teenage boy checking to see if his girlfriend’s dad was home. His eyes almost immediately darted to her gun laying on the floor where she dropped it. Frank raised his eyebrows at her. She picked up her gun, knowing she was blushing like a berry.

“When I heard your car I thought I might have some trouble on my hands.” Karen bit her lip in a half hearted attempt at suppressing her smile. “Never in a million years would I have guessed it’d be you.” 

Frank huffed a laugh. “That’s why I took my time getting out of the car. Didn’t want you to blow my head off.” 

Karen smiled. She watched as Frank scanned the place. He took in the giant fireplace, the furniture and bookshelves. His eyes went a little wide at the staggering view from the cabin’s front wall of windows before they moved on in their study of the space. His gaze flickered to the giant bed and quickly away. Karen hadn’t made the bed and the blankets were all over the place. It made her feel a little naked. 

“Beer?” She asked, eager for both of them to ignore the bed in the room. 

He nodded at her. He scanned the room again looking a little wary and eventually decided to drop his bag near the couch. He was cautious. Like he hoped he wasn’t imposing. He was treading lightly in this little house that he clearly viewed as Karen’s personal space. Frank’s shoulders were tight. It was kind of adorable, but she wished he would relax.

Karen went to the kitchen, pulled two beers from the fridge, and popped the tops. She held his out for him as he slowly approached, seeming to have a hard time letting his eyes rest in any one place. When Frank grabbed his beer he gave her a nod of thanks. 

She grinned. 

“Just like old times, huh? Did you bring me flowers?”

The smile flickered to life in his eyes before it made it to his lips. He liked it when she gave him shit. It made him unwind. 

“Not this time. Left town in a hurry.” He looked up at her from under his brow. “That’s no excuse though, shoulda brought you something nice.” 

“You did.” 

She didn’t mean to be so obvious, to wear her heart on her sleeve like this, but she couldn’t help it. He was  _ here _ . Some crazy how-  _ he was here. _ And it meant the world to her. 

Frank didn’t seem to know what to say next. He took a sip of his beer, looking at her over his bottle. Karen tried not to watch his throat work as he swallowed. 

“How are you here, Frank?”

Frank looked down at his beer bottle, like maybe the answer to her question was in there somewhere. 

“The lawyers."

_ … seriously?  _

“They told you?”

Karen was shocked. They hadn’t allowed her to tell anyone.  _ Anyone. _ Not Ellison. Not Claire. Not even her dad. Neither Matt or Foggy liked Frank, or approved of Karen’s… friendship with him. How the hell had he gotten them to spill the beans? 

Frank rolled his eyes. 

“They didn’t want to. At first, they let me believe you were dead.” He shook his head, pinning her with a look that burned. “I saw your obituary.”

Karen bit her lip. She wanted to apologize. She knew how she would have felt if the situation had been reversed. She’d imagined it so many times- opening up the morning paper and reading that the Punisher had been killed. It would have destroyed her. But really, what was there to apologize for? She didn’t have any way to communicate with him. She couldn’t have warned him even if she’d wanted to. Frank made the choice to keep his distance and this was one of the consequences. 

The look on her face must have said all of this, because before she could even think of something to say, he was already nodding his head, waving her off. 

“I know.” His voice was wrecked. “Karen- when I thought…” 

He cut himself off, shaking his head, unable to look her in the eye. He was going to get her all choked up too. It almost made her mad.  _ Yeah, I know how you felt, Frank. It's how I feel every single time I think about you, wondering if you’re dead or alive. It’s how I feel every time we part ways and I have no idea if I’ll ever see you again! _ Part of her wanted to pick a fight with him. But the bigger part knew that he’d suffered enough, the bigger part wanted to comfort him. To hold him. 

She resisted both urges. 

“How did you get them to tell you about this place? They were so serious about keeping it an absolute secret.” She asked.

Frank was staring out at the mountains. 

“I came to the office. I guess I was such a sad sack they took pity on me.” His mouth tipped up slightly to one side. 

It almost looked like the tips of his ears were turning red... 

“You must have laid it on thick. They don’t like you enough to just let you in on their big secret plans.” She said, only halfway joking.

“Yep. I was balling like a baby.” He huffed. “Had them dishing the dirt in no time.”

Karen was a little stunned, truly unable to picture that scene in her head. She was glad it seemed like they were choosing to have a sense of humor about all this otherwise she’d be probably be balling like a baby herself. 

But enough of this little dance. She was dying for actual information. 

“So, do you know what’s happening? Is everyone ok? It’s awful up here- I have no idea what’s going on. Is it over?”

Frank shifted on his feet. “It’s not over yet, but Murdock and your friends… they’re on it.” 

“Ok. What’s the plan? I swear- if any of them get hurt… ” Karen set her beer down. “What are they going to do?”

Frank’s nose twitched that way it did sometimes when he was agitated. It made her nervous. 

“Frank, what are they going to do?”

He shut his eyes. “I don’t know.”

“...What?” 

“I wanted in on the fight. I wanted to put that bastard in the ground. But Nelson, he made me choose.” Frank opened his eyes. There was a vulnerability there that Karen felt all the way down to her toes. “They’d tell me how to find you, or they’d let me join the war… not both.”

He stared into her eyes, almost wincing at his own words. 

Karen’s stomach did a flip flop. She could barely breathe.  _ He chose me. _ He’d faced this same choice before, but this time he chose her. 

The floor beneath her was turning into jello. 

Every single moment they’d had together, despite the way they looked out for each other, the way they could read each other, the way her body responded to his… despite all of it, Karen could always find a way to convince herself that their connection was all in her head, that the pull between them was only one-sided. She could write it all off. 

Until now. 

This was something real. This was a choice he made. This was something new. 

And it shook her. Karen felt so many things all at once. Shock and joy and caution. She wanted to run away and analyze everything he just said. She wanted to launch herself at him and kiss him and not allow herself to think at all. 

Frank started wringing his big hands on his beer bottle, shoulders tight, his eyes darting around the room. He’d never looked less like The Punisher. He was just a man, trying to tell a woman how he felt about her. And she was just staring at him, wide-eyed.  _ Snap out of it, woman!  _

Karen’s trembling hand reached for Frank’s, prying it away from his beer. She wove their fingers together. He responded slowly, running his thumb over hers. It sent tingles through her. 

“I’m glad you’re here.” She said, quiet, careful in this uncharted territory. 

He allowed himself the smallest smile. 

“Easy choice.” He said, looking down at their hands. 

But Karen knew. It wasn’t all that easy. 

Her stomach flip flopped again. It felt like the first time she ever held hands with a boy. Her entire existence focused on the way his thumb slid across her skin. She was actually feeling a little weak in the knees. She needed to sit down. Good grief.

The atmosphere was loaded. Heavy. She tugged lightly on Frank’s hand, leading him over to the couch. He followed easily. They kept touching as they sat a while in silence. It reminded her of that time in the park when they held hands. She was sure he was remembering that too. 

After a while, Frank asked about Poindexter, for the whole story.  _ What happened, Karen? What the hell is all this?  _

Karen was glad to tell him, to talk it through with someone. How scared she’d been when she got the notice that Poindexter escaped from his facility. How terrible it was when she’d asked how the hell a paralyzed man could manage an escape, only to learn that he’d been fully cured by an experimental treatment, how he was stronger and faster than ever. How several weeks ago she started receiving those freaky packages and letters and she’d known in her soul that he’d never give up until one of them was dead. 

Frank listened, never interrupting, but occasionally gripping her hand a little tighter or shooting her a side glance that looked more like the Punisher and less like Frank Castle than Karen liked to see.

When Frank asked why the hell Poindexter was so obsessed with her… well, that led down the whole Wilson Fisk rabbithole. 

This story was a little harder to dig in to, and not just because she knew Frank had his own history with Fisk. Her memories were horrible and painful. They gave her nightmares. She didn’t often allow herself to think back on all that. She never talked about those terrible things.  But it was Frank asking. She had to try. 

Slowly, carefully, like she was tip-toeing through a minefield, Karen started to unpack her history with Wilson Fisk. From the file she’d found as a secretary for Union Allied, to being framed for murder, to nearly being strangled to death in her jail cell, to Matt and Foggy coming to her rescue. 

The look on Frank’s face… he was horrified, murderous. He’d never known much of her past. Their time together had mostly dealt with the ghosts of his. 

Karen's story halted and stuttered as she continued. Talking about the court case against Fisk was relatively easy. Talking about Ben was excruciating. But she kept going. She wanted Frank to know all of this. She wanted him to know  _ her. _

Karen’s pulse started racing. She was getting close to it now. The real secret. The blackhole at the center of it all. She was sure he would understand… He was  _ The Punisher _ after all, but- what if… 

She couldn’t stop now, she had to get it all out. 

“His house arrest was basically a joke. He was living in luxury, holding press conferences.” Karen scowled at the memory. “The FBI agents were basically waiting on him hand and foot.”

Frank shook his head, disgusted. 

“The only thing keeping Fisk in check- _at all-_ was the fact that even in his home, he was under video surveillance 24/7. So, I went there pretending it was for the paper. I knew… if I could get him to slip up, to lose it on camera- that might be the only chance we got to put him back behind bars.”

Karen took a deep breath, steadying herself for what was to come. 

“Once I got him alone, I told Fisk something I’d never told anyone.”

Frank’s eyes darted to hers. 

“Fisk’s number 2 was this guy, James Wesley. They were close… as close as anyone could ever be to a man like Fisk, almost like family.” Karen shuddered. “During our investigation, Wesley was killed. Fisk lost his mind over it, it wrecked him.”

Karen swallowed.  _ OK. Here goes...  _

“But what Fisk didn’t know… was that Wesley kidnapped me.”

Frank’s eyes narrowed in shock. 

“I woke up in a strange place with Wesley threatening to k-kill everyone I care about.” Karen’s throat was closing up, choking her. Like her body rebelled against speaking these words out loud. “But- but he made a mistake. He left his gun where I could reach it…”

Karen felt like she might implode. She flung herself at her story’s end like a runner at the end of a marathon.

“I killed him.”

The words slipped from her lips. Karen froze, waiting for Frank’s reaction. 

He didn’t even flinch. 

“And you told Fisk.” Frank confirmed. 

Karen nodded.

“And that’s why he set Poindexter after you.”

She nodded again.

“Christ.” Frank scrubbed a hand over his face. 

Karen’s head felt like a balloon that had just come untethered, was floating away into the ether. Frank had just blown past her confession. He didn’t bat an eye at it. He was on to the next thing…

“Yeah, I told Fisk what happened…” She repeated, carefully. “I knew he’d lose control. If he attacked me on camera we'd win…”

Frank’s hand dropped from his face. He was gaping at her, his eyes bouncing all over her face. 

“Jesus, Karen. I always knew you were halfway out of your goddamn mind.” He was growling at her, but there was something in his eyes… “I want to be mad at you. To yell at you and tell you you’re batshit crazy. But… ” 

He shook his head. Then he really shocked her. Frank started laughing.

“I did the exact same thing.” 

Karen’s brain could not compute. “...What?” 

Frank had spent the last half of her story hunched over, rigid. His thumb had stopped its slow caress of her fingers as the details got darker. But now his thumb resumed its slow circles, he leaned back into the couch looking oddly relaxed. 

“It’s how we caught Russo and Rollins. I let myself get caught. Let them torture me and say all sorts of good shit on camera. Caught ‘em red handed.”

Karen remembered this. She’d been horrified when Agent Madani told her about it. Frank had almost died. It was not funny. She couldn’t understand how Frank could be talking about it so casually. It was pissing her off... but his bleary eyed laughter was making her want to laugh too. It  _ was _ exactly the same thing she’d done with Fisk.  _ Shit. _

“Frank, how can you laugh about that?” She snapped, but her scolding was half-hearted at best, and Frank could tell.

He grinned more. 

“I can laugh because I survived.” He squeezed her fingers. “You learn that in war.” 

“It's not funny.” She aimed for a scowl, but couldn’t quite pull it off. Karen loved playful Frank.

“No. It’s not funny.” His grin dimmed a little. “That stunt you pulled could have gotten you killed.”

“Pot meet Kettle.”

Frank stared her down, not letting her change the subject. Karen rolled her eyes.

“Fine. What I did was dangerous. But it didn’t even work. Foggy barged in before Fisk could lay a finger on me.”

“I knew I liked that guy.”

Karen burst out laughing. Frank watched her as her laughter died. Something in his eyes got the butterflies in her chest all riled up again. They were sitting very close. Still touching. Smiling at each other in a way that was fairly unprecedented. She’d hardly ever been this close to him in a moment where they could just sit and smile, where they could be light, casual, and unhurried. 

Maintaining a light atmosphere around Frank Castle wasn’t the easiest thing in the world though. Karen could feel her skin getting warmer, more sensitive where their fingers were entwined. She was getting all wound up inside, like a girl on a first date. She internally face-palmed.  _ Get it together, woman. _

She didn’t want to let Frank see how much he sent her spinning. She didn’t want to spook him. He’d made a huge gesture by coming here, and she’d reciprocated with the big gesture of spilling her guts about every insane thing she’d been through in the last few years. Maybe that’s why she was feeling so skittish… Karen had big gesture overload. 

She looked up from their fingers to catch him watching her. His eyes were soft. Relaxation was a good look on him. A really good look. Karen felt her pulse start to boom in her chest. It was a lot all at once. 

She broke their eye contact, glancing at the coffee table where their beer bottles sat, long empty. It was getting dark out.

“Hungry?” She asked, hoping her voice sounded casual and not at all like the nervous school girl she suddenly felt like. 

He nodded. 

Karen got up, leading him over to the kitchen and turning various lamps on as they went. 

Orienting Frank to the wonders of their little kitchen was like meeting a whole new man. He lit up. She opened up the fridge and small pantry, showing him what they had. Then she’d moved to the cabinets, thinking he’d glance at the multitude of kitchen apparatus with the same bland amusement she felt for all the random stuff- but he was like a kid in a candy store. She’d never seen this look on his face before. He was kneading his hands, like he was restraining himself from touching everything. 

Karen hardly knew what to say next. Seeing Frank so alive made her want to melt into a happy puddle on the floor. He was scanning the shelves, and nodding to himself. He turned back to the pantry. 

“If you got fish sauce- we’re in business…” He muttered, more to himself than her. “Ah.” 

He pulled out a tiny bottle, looking as pleased as she’d ever seen him.

Karen wanted to laugh.  _ Who is this guy? _

“So, it looks like we’re not just heating up a frozen pizza?” She asked.

Frank snorted at the idea. “Hell no. I’m making you dinner.”

Puddle. She was a puddle. 

“Wow - ok… can I help?” She tried to ignore how breathy her voice sounded.

Frank grinned at her. “Nah. I got this. You go pick out a movie.” 

And then he grabbed a hand towel from the refrigerator door and pretended to snap it at her before swinging it over his shoulder. 

_ Good lord. _ Karen splish-splashed her puddly way over to the shelf of VHS tapes before she embarrassed herself by drooling. 

  
  


:::

  
  


Frank hadn’t smiled this much in… he couldn’t remember a time that came anywhere close. Especially not a time that didn’t directly involve Karen Page. 

As if this cabin hadn’t already been his own personal version of perfection,  _ this kitchen…  _ It had been way too long since he’d been able to cook himself a real meal, let alone cook for someone else, a lady at that. This was going to be fun. He was going to make his girl some Pad Thai. Frank internally flinched at calling Karen  _ his girl _ , but was in too good a mood to really beat himself up over it. 

He glanced at her across the room trying to ignore the ache in his chest at the sight of her. She was in comfy clothes, yoga pants and a little hoodie. He’d never seen Karen anywhere close to this casual. Her hair was down in its natural waves and she wasn’t wearing any make up. She looked so soft and sweet. Just looking at her felt intimate. Private and special. Frank’s gaze drifted a little as he watched her step up on her tiptoes to get a better look at the selection VHS tapes. Those yoga pants fit nicely. Very nicely. 

Frank spun back toward the fridge to grab the rest of his ingredients. Also to avoid Karen catching him staring at her ass. He was glad she was across the room for the time being. Glad they had a little space. Karen had been getting a little jittery. He made her nervous. Understandable. She was making him nervous too. Sitting with her on the couch, toward the end there when neither of them was able to stop smiling, he’d been itching with the heaviness building between them. Not knowing what was going to happen next. Not knowing what was allowed, what was possible. 

It was a delicate thing. He could sense it. Being here with her like this… it was new. Totally different. They were off book. 

Frank had touched Karen before. Images flashed through his mind, of pulling her close on the dance floor in that sketchy club, holding hands with her in the park, throwing himself on top of her as bullets ripped through her apartment, reaching for her after Lewis Wilson’s bomb went off. Every time he touched her had been profound, had seared itself into his memory, but none of those times carried as much weight as when he touched her here. Because now they were alone. Now they had time, they weren’t on the run. 

The few times he’d indulged himself, like that time on the train, or on the rooftop when he’d been so damn close to kissing her- _ really _ kissing her, it had been easy because he knew they were on borrowed time. If Murdock hadn’t interrupted them something else would have. He’d have gotten away with crossing that line scot free. He wouldn’t have had to deal with any consequences for his actions because who knew the next time he’d see her. 

Here and now, everything was different. Anything could happen if they just let it. But there would be consequences. That much was clear. The knowledge of it was looming over both of them if he was reading Karen’s nervous energy right. 

Frank felt like all the cards were on the table. He didn’t have any answers. He didn’t know if there was such a thing as a “right” way to do this, but he couldn't deny this thing between them anymore. The fallout he’d felt when he thought he'd lost her had been enough to prove to himself that he wasn’t the dead man he liked to pretend to be. Whatever scraps of him were left, they were all Karen’s. Whether she wanted them or not.

And somehow, even though she saw straight through his shit, even though he drove her crazy and she deserved so much better… she did. Karen wanted him. 

Frank’s eyes darted over to the bed in the corner near the windows and quickly away again. That big bed, with the blankets already tangled up and undone… the sight of it put heat in his belly. It made him think of Karen, wrecked and mussed up and sweaty. Karen sighing underneath him, making fists in those sheets.  _ Hell. _ Thinking about that wasn’t helpful. He had no idea what was going to happen, but whatever it was- he needed to take it slow. She was important. The most important person in his life. He wouldn’t mess around with that. Frank might be a lost cause, but he still knew how to treat a lady. How to treat a friend. 

He needed to focus on making her dinner. 

His sauce was coming together. Frank tossed in the peanuts he’d chopped up into tiny crumbles. He stole another glance at Karen. She’d moved on from reading the backs of VHS tapes over to the bookcase where her nose was buried in something big and leatherbound. He felt that surge roll through him again.  Frank kept getting hit with little waves of relief. So glad she was alive. So glad she wasn’t hurt. 

He shuddered. Everything she’d been through…  _ Holy shit. _ She was so strong. 

There was a rumbling in the back of his head, a thunderstorm in the shape of Wilson Fucking Fisk. Frank was more furious than ever that Murdock let him live, but he fought back his temper. That was a problem for another day. Not something for him to worry about tonight. 

He was here. Karen was safe. They were both safe in this peaceful place.

Noodles were almost done. He looked at Karen over his shoulder, a little jolted to find her eyes already on him. 

“Tofu or shrimp?” He asked. 

Karen raised her eyebrows in surprise and thought a minute. “Tofu.”

He nodded and went back to his work, opening up the package of tofu. Pad Thai was best with tofu. Karen was perfect. 

He turned to look at her again only to find her close behind him. She peered around his shoulder into the wok. 

“Smells good.” 

Frank bit the inside of his cheek on his smile. He’d never known how to take a compliment and these last few years certainly hadn’t made his social skills any better. Karen didn’t seem to mind his silence though. She lifted herself so she could sit on the countertop and watch him work. She sat so close. He could reach out and grab her thigh if he wanted to. If he dared, more like. She watched his every move, and her watching made him a little nervous, but he liked it. He liked the closeness. He liked that he got to look at her as much as he wanted and soak up every smile she sent his way. 

They weren’t using any words at all, but a conversation was in full flow. It was something about her being impressed with his prowess in the kitchen, and him bragging.  _ Yeah Sweetheart, I got skills. _ And she half heartedly tried to kick at him for being so smug. And he wasn’t sorry. They teased each other back and forth, their eyes just wouldn’t shut up. 

When dinner was ready, they both piled their plates high with noodles. Frank was glad to see her take such a large serving. She looked thin. He’d felt it when he held her. Understandable. These last few weeks have been stressful, she probably hadn’t been eating. He was glad for the chance to feed her. 

Frank brought their plates and chopsticks to the couch while Karen grabbed two more beers. 

“What are we watching?” He asked as she set a bottle in front of him. 

Karen grinned, “Die Hard.”

She squinted her eyes at him, like she was daring him to judge her choice.

All he could do was nod yes and amen. 

“Classic.”  _ Could she be anymore badass? _

Karen clapped her hands, happy he approved, and pushed the tape into the VCR, starting it up. The TV scrambled to life. She turned back to Frank, excited and so adorable it made him hurt.

“Do you want to know the best part?”

“Hm?” 

She reached over to the giant fireplace and flicked a switch. Flames blazed to life in the second it took him to blink.  _ God. _ It was too perfect. 

“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” He shook his head. “Hell of a place you got here, Karen.”

She laughed. “I’ll let Trish know you approve.”

The movie started and Karen hurried to sit down. She let out a little moan at her first mouthful of Pad Thai. Frank felt it in the back of his neck. He was glad she liked the food he made for her. Equally glad she only made the sound once. 

They both finished off the noodles and were working on their beers by the time John McLane was scrunching his bare toes in the carpet on screen. Frank looked at Karen out the side of his eye. She sat a little bit away from him, not as far as she could, but not as close as if this were a date, if they were a normal man and woman who’d come to this cabin to be alone together. The distance between them- it made him want to laugh. Neither of them knew what the hell they were doing. It made him feel young. Inexperienced and nervous. He hadn’t felt this way in a long, long time. It was kind of exhilarating. 

Everything about them right now… it was so innocent. When was the last time he’d felt that? Innocence.  _ What are you doing to me, Karen? _

Frank sat in the feeling, on this twitchy, adolescent edge. It was fun. They were both watching each other watch the movie, neither ready to acknowledge it. Neither ready to leave the shallow end of the pool yet, though the deep end was right there, taunting them to dive in. 

As alluring as it all was, Frank couldn’t help the blanket of drowsiness that settled over him. Most of this day had been a complete nightmare. Waking up, discovering Karen was dead, losing his mind, then the whiplash once he learned she was alive. Packing a bag, securing a car that had no connection to anyone real, and making his way up this mountain imagining the whole time that something might’ve gone wrong- maybe he’d arrive at the cabin too late and everything he feared would be waiting for him. Cold and dead and covered in red. And once he found the cabin... the hurricane of her. Karen Page, a force of nature. Welcoming him in, telling him all her secrets, touching him like it was right, looking at him like-  _ God, _ the way she looked at him. All of it made him feel like he’d lived ten years in a day. And now everything was ok. And he was allowed to shut down, to relax a little bit. And his belly was full. And this couch was amazing. And a fire blazed and lulled him… 

The sound of gunfire on the TV made Frank jolt awake. He must’ve dozed off. He was disoriented, eyes darting all around the room trying to remember where he was until he saw Karen. 

_ Hey, Karen. _ So good to see her. She’s so pretty.

“Hey, you’re really tired.” Her voice was soft, like she was talking to a kid. “Come here.” 

She pulled a pillow onto her lap. She was smiling at him, patting the pillow. Yeah, that was the best idea. That would be perfect. Frank moved so that he could stretch out on the couch and lay his head in her lap. It sounded like she was laughing and he wondered what was funny. But he didn’t need an answer once his head hit the pillow. This was good. So good. And- 

Frank blinked his eyes. Suddenly much more awake than he’d been 2 seconds ago.  _ How the hell…? _ His head was in Karen’s lap, his fingers tucked under and around her thigh. Awareness shocked his system. He had no idea how he’d gotten in this position, or if it was ok, or what Karen must think.

Frank froze. Barely breathing. Completely rigid.

But then there were soft fingers in his hair. A warm palm pressed lightly to his shoulder. And the world got quiet again. Frank closed his eyes, allowing the feeling to settle in. Karen’s nails ran over his skull, he loved it. Every so often she’d make a little fist in his hair and give it the slightest tug.  _ God. _ He always loved having his hair played with. Maria used to do it all the time. But in their entire relationship, his hair had never been as long as it was right now. The little twists and tugs Karen was giving him were new. And amazing. He never wanted her to stop. Over and over again, glide and twist and pull. When he noticed his grip on Karen’s thigh getting tighter he made sure to relax his hands. But pretty soon he wasn’t noticing anything anymore. The only things that existed were Karen’s fingers and the soothing trails of magic she was weaving into his hair and how it spread through his entire body. It was good. Good. Good. 

The next time he woke, it was to Karen whispering his name. And the whole world was soft and smelled amazing. 

“Frank.” She twisted his hair in her fingers again. “Frank, wake up.” 

He blinked his eyes open to find himself staring at the pattern on Karen’s shirt. His nose was buried in her belly. He must have turned over in his sleep. Frank was startled and sat up quickly, embarrassed and out of sorts. But before he got a chance to apologize or try to make any sort of excuse, Karen smiled at him saying something about getting ready for bed. 

She got up from the couch as Frank set his feet on the floor and struggled to get his brain up and running again. He rubbed the back of his neck, tracking Karen as she went over to a chest of drawers near the bed and grabbed out some clothes. Then she made her way back through the room, turning off lamps as she went, and finally shut herself behind the little door to the bathroom that had antlers hanging overhead. 

When the door clicked shut Frank finally felt like he could think again. He shook his head. Goddamn, the closest he’d ever been to Karen… and he’d been unconscious the whole time. Nice. 

Frank looked over at that big bed again. He wanted to sleep in it. With Karen. It was as simple as that. He wondered if that would be ok… 

He stood and cracked his back. Then his neck. Then his knuckles. Goddamn his body was noisy and stiff. Frank went to his duffle bag and crouched down digging out the sweats and tee shirt he’d brought to sleep in. He’d packed in such a rush, he was glad he remembered. Sleepwear was not a part of his life anymore. When he was in his van, Frank slept in his gear. When he was at his apartment, Frank slept naked. But thankfully, somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d remembered how to be a civilized adult and brought something to sleep in while he stayed with Karen even though he’d been packing so fast that he almost broke the zipper on his bag by pulling it too hard. 

The bathroom door clicked open. Karen stepped out in a soft billowy shirt and some truly tiny shorts. Frank forced himself to keep his eyes up, not allowing even a glance down at her legs where her smooth skin stretched for miles. She looked a little shy. Everything about her was soft, and clean, and perfect. It made him want to get closer. It made him want to muss her up a little bit. 

“All yours.” She said.

Frank gulped. He knew she was talking about the bathroom, not about herself. But his mind was too foggy right now not to wander.

Frank stared at himself in the mirror as he got undressed, as he brushed his teeth, as he splashed water on his face to clear his head. He remembered this feeling. The out-of-body feeling of acting like everything was normal. He’d done a lot of this the first time he’d left New York, when he was pretending to be Pete. 

Pete would wear pajamas to bed. Pete would brush his teeth, and shave, and plan out his meals before he went to the grocery store. Pete would go see bands, and smile at pretty girls, and even go home with one of them because he was just a normal guy. Hell, he might even have been a _ good _ guy. 

Pete stared himself down in the mirror every night as he got ready for bed, the same way that Frank was staring at himself right now. The only difference was that Pete had been an act, and Frank was real. Pete had been an experiment, and Frank was an absolute. 

There was a woman on the other side of this door that could read him like a book. There was no acting with her. No do-overs. Frank didn’t have a lot of the luxuries that Pete had, but he had something way better. He had truth, and honesty, and acceptance. It scared the shit out of him. And in this small way, he and Pete had a lot in common, something they didn’t share with The Punisher at all. They were just normal guys, looking themselves in the eye, working up the courage to try. 

Frank rolled his eyes at himself in the mirror. Enough hiding in the bathroom. He opened the door quietly. All the lamps in the cabin were off, but the moon lit the room just enough so that he could see. 

Karen was in the big bed. She was watching him and she seemed to glow in the moonlight. Her expression was guarded. She’d left room for him in the bed next to her, but she wasn’t going to ask him to come. He could sense it. She needed him to want it, to choose. 

Frank didn’t even glance at the couch as an option. He headed straight for Karen. The way she smiled at him, so soft, made him sure he’d made the right choice. His pulse picked up. The closer he got to the bed, the louder his blood pounded in his ears. 

He pulled back the covers and settled in slowly, like his body could barely remember how to share a bed with another person. He was almost shaking with pent up energy. But Karen, with that way of hers, made everything better. She turned to him, and pulled him close. It was so damn easy to follow her lead. Suddenly his arms were around her and her head was on his shoulder. Her ankle looped around his as her palm laid flat on his chest. 

Fuck. It was perfect. 

He was a little embarrassed, knowing that she could probably hear his heart racing with her ear pressed to his chest the way it was, but then he took her hand and slid his thumb against her wrist. Her pulse was fluttering like a hummingbird, just like his. They were in sync. Like always. Goddamn. 

Frank felt high from it. From her. This entire day had been insane. But here they were at the end of it, together. Better. Frank wanted to live in this feeling, but he didn’t fight sleep when he felt it coming. She would be there in the morning. They’d be together in this safe place, where it didn’t matter that they were two of the world’s most broken people. Here, they almost felt whole. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Friends!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! And as always- thanks to all of you who've left kudos and comments:) I treasure you and the sparks of inspiration you light up in my mind! 
> 
> The next chapter is giving me a bit of trouble actually- so wish me luck:)


	5. Chapter 5

Frank’s body lurched awake. He broke out into a sweat. Couldn’t make sense of what he was seeing. Rugged mountains. Green pines stretched out to the horizon where the sky was pale blue and a little hazy.  _ What… _

A noise behind him jarred his system again. The same small noise that had woken him in the first place. His head whipped around. 

Karen. In the kitchen.

Frank’s heart rate started to slow down, suddenly remembering where he was and how he got here and that this was exactly where he wanted to be. He scrubbed his hand over his face, annoyed at the way his body insisted on waking up in a panic most mornings. 

Karen hadn’t noticed. Her back was to him. She had something sizzling on the stove. The sound that woke him up was the coffee maker gurgling. The smells filling the air were so damn good he could have groaned out loud. But he didn’t. He didn’t make a sound as he turned over. He didn’t want her to know he was awake yet. He wanted to watch her move and breathe and just be. 

It was incredible, waking up and seeing her there. Getting to look at her as much as he wanted. She was so pretty in the morning. Soft and pale and graceful in the kitchen. She must have been up for a while already. Her hair was damp from a shower. She was in tight jeans and a flannel shirt… pretty much the picture of every girl he’d ever had a crush on in highschool. Frank fought back a sigh. 

He was surprised he slept in. Even more surprised that Karen getting up, taking a shower, and moving around the room hadn’t woken him. His sleep was generally awful, full of nightmares and agitation and twitchy shit. He rarely got more than a few hours. But somehow, here with Karen, he’d gotten a full night’s sleep. 

He bit the inside of his cheek, almost smiling at the realization that it was probably a muscle memory from his days in the Marines. His body was trained to stay alert when he was in danger. He could stay awake and ready for days with no sleep if needed. His body was also trained to rest when he was in the clear. When it was his turn. On duty, Frank had been able to fall asleep within minutes of being relieved. It was his job to get rest the same way as it was his job to make war. 

The way he’d just slept was only possible because of Karen and the way she made him feel. His body knew he could let his guard down. Hell, his soul knew it too. Frank’s heart ached that good ache. 

Karen must have sensed his eyes on her. She turned and caught him looking. 

“Good morning.” She smiled. “Breakfast in bed?”

Frank let a little laugh slip. “Don’t spoil me, Karen.”

“I’ll do what I want.” She parried.

The laugh that slipped out this time wasn’t little. “Ain’t that the truth.” 

Frank rolled out of bed, raking his hands back through his hair in an attempt to flatten it. It was probably standing up all over the place. It always did whenever he let it get long. One of the reasons he tended to keep it military short.

He shuffled over to her trying not to be too affected by the domesticity of the entire scene. Them, together, barefoot in the kitchen. He came up behind her and looked over her shoulder. She had some homemade hashbrowns on a griddle. He smelled bacon, but didn’t see any on the stovetop. He leaned over- she had it baking in the oven on a sheet. He nodded to himself. This was going to be good. 

“How do you take your eggs?”

“Medium. Thanks.” 

Until last night, it had been such a long time since he’d cooked for anyone. It was an equally long time since anyone had cooked for him. He wanted to lean in and kiss her cheek. Kissing her cheek seemed like a bold move though, and he wasn’t ready for it this early in the morning. 

Coffee was an easy distraction. The pot was full and smelled amazing. 

Frank grabbed two mugs and filled them up. “Cream?” 

She shook her head. Frank passed her a mug and took a sip of his own.  _ Damn. _ So good. Karen’s eyes smiled at him over the rim of her mug. 

Their silence was comfortable. Frank leaned on the counter and watched her. Karen knew what she was doing. She cracked eggs over the griddle with one hand, still holding her coffee with the other. She sipped away as she ducked to check on the bacon in the oven. She patted down and flipped the hashbrowns that were crisping up to a perfect golden brown. 

“You’ve got some serious skills.” He appraised her work. 

She grinned. “I make a mean breakfast.”

“I can see that.” Frank nodded at her. “You’re like a pro.” 

Karen’s smile dimmed the slightest bit. Frank wouldn’t have seen it if he wasn’t watching her so closely. If he didn’t already know all the curves and lines of her face. 

“I _ am _ a pro. My family ran a diner back in Vermont. Breakfast was my time to shine.” 

She smiled, like she was trying to make a joke. But the smile didn’t meet her eyes. 

Frank could see it in his mind's eye. A younger Karen, probably dressed just like she is right now, running a little kitchen like a well oiled machine. A family business like that, it could have been fun. But the look on her face said otherwise. 

Shit. Frank remembered something from her obituary that he’d barely been able to register when he first read it… but it bobbed to the surface of his mind now with a sad splash. 

“A family diner, huh?” He said cautiously.

Karen flipped the eggs perfectly. She nodded and cracked two more eggs onto the griddle. 

“I read in your obituary… it said no surviving family.” He swallowed uncomfortably, but had to ask. “Is that true?” 

Karen didn’t look at him. She kept her eyes on her work. 

“Yes. Well, technically no…”

The tips of her ears were turning a little red. He didn’t want to upset her, but- goddamn, how the hell did he not know _anything_ about this person who meant so much to him? How could Karen have no family? What the hell had happened to her? Frank needed to know. _Needed_ to. But it felt like he shouldn’t ask more questions… like he should just wait. 

Karen bent down and grabbed the tray of bacon from the oven, setting it aside to cool. Her face was oddly blank. 

“My mom died when I was finishing up highschool. Cancer.” 

Frank’s chest clenched.  _ Sweetheart…  _

Karen stepped over to the cabinet with all the dishes. She grabbed out two plates and set them on the counter. 

“I didn’t go to college. Stayed in town to help my dad with the diner.” She heaped a big pile of hash browns on to each plate. “I was a loser. Dating a drug dealer. Using. Dealing a little myself.”

She dished out two eggs to each plate as well. Her movements were stiff. Frank couldn’t take his eyes off of her face, not liking the way her eyes were starting to shut down. 

“My little brother, Kevin-” Her voice caught. Frank almost reached out for her, but Karen just cleared her throat and continued. “One night Kevin tried to get me away from it all. My boyfriend almost… almost beat him to death. I had to shoot him to get him to stop.”

Karen’s jittery eyes locked on Frank’s for a moment. His stomach flipped. “In the arm. He didn’t die.”

Then she was back to work, adding bacon to their plates. Quick and efficient. 

“But, we had to get away. Fast. I was driving… and I was drunk… and I was high.” 

She brushed past him, opening a drawer and grabbing out two knives and two forks. 

Frank wanted to grab her, to tell her to stop, to hold her still. But he had a feeling that the only way she was getting through the story was by keeping herself in motion. Keeping her hands busy. He didn’t want to hear this if she didn’t want to tell it, but it seemed like she needed to get it out.

“I crashed the car.” Her voice was a whisper. Frank’s heart was in his throat. “Kevin died.” 

_ No. God…  _

Karen took both loaded plates over to the kitchen table and set them down. She headed back to the kitchen and grabbed the salt and pepper shakers from the counter top.

“My dad kicked me out of the house. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.” She made her way back to the table and set down the shakers, keeping her back to Frank. “So, no. I don’t have any family left. Not really.” 

She wouldn’t turn around to face him. She looked small and curled in on herself. Frank’s chest felt like it was filled with cement. 

He heard a sniffle, a shivering little breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just said all-”

Frank wasn’t fully conscious of crossing the room, but he had her spun around and in his arms in the span of time it took to breathe her name. 

_ Jesus Christ, Karen.  _

How much could one person take? Frank didn’t know where to start, what to say, or how to say it, but the only important thing in the universe right now was this woman, and holding her, and not letting anything hurt her ever again. 

_ Karen.  _ Who was so brave and so strong, who saw the best in everyone- even lost causes like him, who gave her whole heart to the people she loved, who scraped hope off rocks and scattered the dark with everything light…  _ How did she do it? _

Frank could barely picture the scenes she described. A young Karen, sad and trapped, dating some scumbag who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her. Karen, lost and doing drugs making bad choices. Karen, just a girl, losing her mom, and then this nightmare with her brother, and being abandoned by the only family she had left. Fuck. Frank was gutted. 

As a father who would do anything,  _ anything, _ for just one more chance to hold the little girl he lost… Frank felt the fullness of his rage creeping up his spine. He wanted to find Karen’s dad and choke him. How could he turn his back on his girl? On this incredible woman? How could he not know her at all? How could he not realize what he had? Frank tried to stamp down his fury. He breathed it out. That wasn’t what Karen needed right now. 

Karen was stiff in his arms, but Frank didn’t let it bother him. He held her tight. Ran his hands up and down her back. Kissed her hair.

Slowly, almost painfully, she softened. Her arms floated up around him. She pressed her face into his neck. He could feel her tears on his skin. He was whispering into her hair.  _ I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. _ And he knew she understood what he meant. It was the same way he’d known what she meant when she sat with him at the carousel that day. She’d been sorry. Sorry for every little tragic detail. Sorry it was so fucking hard to be alive after all that had happened. It was exactly how he felt right now. And she knew. He felt her start to sag into his arms, to lean on him, to need his help to stay standing. It was a relief. He wanted to hold her, wanted to be there for her. 

Truths started to align in Frank’s mind as he stroked her hair. He understood now. How she never gave up on him. How she always forgave. How she could look into his eyes and see straight through to his soul. She’d been to hell. She understood it. 

Frank liked to think of Karen as this angel, this saint… and she  _ was _ , in so many ways, but she was more. After everything- the tragedy of her family, all the shit with Fisk, and Poindexter, and a thousand mistakes and ten thousand cuts… She rose. 

She was so much stronger than him.

After Frank’s life went to shit, he pretty much chose to crucify and bury himself. Frank wallowed in the ruins of his old life, a dead man in an open grave. 

But Karen rebuilt from the rubble. Again and again. No matter how many hits kept coming. She was the living embodiment of resurrection. She was everything he told himself didn’t exist. 

For the first time in years- since he’d lost everything- Frank felt ashamed. 

His was a righteous anger, a cruel justice. He never felt guilt over doing his job. But here he was with Karen in his arms… and while he still wasn’t ashamed of what he did, he was suddenly ashamed of how he did it. There was a glaring difference between the two of them. Karen chose life while Frank chose death. Karen Page was a hero. The Punisher was not. 

These realizations crashed down on Frank in a matter of seconds while Karen sniffled into his shirt, shaking him to his bones. 

Karen raised her head looking tortured, distraught. 

“Frank, I hope this doesn’t change-”  She closed her eyes, barely able to get the words out, not able to face him.  “I hope this doesn’t change the way you see me… or-” 

He kissed her. 

It was a brief, shivering, little kiss, and he pulled away to get her to open her eyes and look at him again. The kiss made his heart pound, but this wasn’t about that. It was about  _ being there. _ It was about him wanting to make absolutely goddamn sure that Karen knew he was with her, and that she listened to what he was about to say.

“I see you, Karen. There’s a lot of shit in this world I can’t see straight, but I see you.”

Her eyes went wide. 

“You’re a force for good. You fight for what’s right. You find hope where there isn’t any and you never give up.” He stroked her cheek with his knuckles, hoping to God she was taking all this to heart. “You protect people. You fight monsters and slay dragons.” 

He said the last part with a little squint in his eyes, and was glad to see her crack a smile even through her tears. 

“I see you.”

She moved her arms from around his torso and flung them around his neck. She whispered  _ thank you,  _ but he didn’t respond to it. He was the one who should be thanking her. Always. 

They swayed together. Frank didn’t understand how the atmosphere could swing from so horribly heavy, to so incredibly healing in a matter of seconds. The magic of Karen Page. 

Frank rocked her back and forth for another minute or two before kissing her hair again. 

“Let’s not let this breakfast you made get cold, yeah?” 

Karen nodded relaxing her grip on his neck. She looked at him with a trembling smile. Her eyes were puffy, and her face was splotchy and pink. She was beautiful. Frank wanted to kiss her all over again, but knew it still wasn’t the moment. 

They both sat down and finally started eating. The food was good, though not nearly as nourishing as the warmth he got in his belly every time he looked up and locked eyes with her, not nearly as filling as the slow smiles they shared. 

He refilled their coffees remembering something else he’d wanted to ask her, feeling pretty confident this answer would be less emotional than the last. 

“So, faking your death… how did you do it?” 

Karen rolled her eyes. “God. That was all Jess and Matt’s idea. I wasn’t even driving. Jess wrapped the car around a telephone pole.”

Frank had no idea what to make of that and his face must have said as much. 

“Well, I mean, at first she just kind of kicked the car into the pole, but it didn’t look bad enough. Then we thought since the car was already wrecked… ” Karen shrugged. “So Jess bent it almost in half and left it just mangled all around the pole to really sell it. To make sure it looked like no one could walk away from a crash like that.”

Karen was nodding at him like it all made sense. 

“So, Jessica Jones can really… she can do what people say?” Frank mumbled, feeling idiotic. The same way he felt whenever he tried to really believe the stories about superheroes and special abilities and all this modern day shit. 

Karen’s face lit up. She nodded emphatically. 

“Yes! It's amazing. She picked the car up and tossed it… like you would toss a pizza box or something.” Karen made the motion with her hands. “And it was easy for her. I saw her jump up to the top of a six-story building one time.” 

Karen’s face was so sincere that it made Frank want to laugh. This was apparently the world they lived in now.  _ No shit. _

“So she can fold a car in half? With her hands?”

“Yeah. It's unreal.” Karen said, frowning through a mouthful of hashbrowns. “And I’d literally just finished up with the repairs, too. The car was finally back to normal.” 

“What was wrong with your car?” He asked, shoving an entire slice of bacon in his mouth at once. 

He must have said something wrong. Karen glared at him. 

“Frank, did you somehow forget that you crashed my car and abandoned me in the woods?” 

Frank froze. Mouth full of bacon. No idea how to get out of this. 

Karen rolled her eyes at him. “I forgive you.”

But then she stole the last piece of bacon right off his plate. 

...

A while later Karen was freshened up. She had superpowers just as real as Jessica Jones’. She bounced back from their emotional morning so quickly. She was already teasing and joking with him, already shooting him special little smiles as he did the dishes and wouldn’t let her help. She replaced her flannel with a soft fleece. Frank noted she’d also put on some make up. Not much, and she definitely didn’t need it, but it felt like she’d done it for him. To look nice for him. And it made him feel… 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” 

Her eyes were bright and glittering and he would have said yes to anything she asked. He got dressed and added a few extra layers to ward off the mountain chill. 

The air up here was different. Clearer and better, and everything smelled like pine and earth. Frank filled up his lungs deep and sighed as he exhaled. Karen smiled at him, breathing deep herself. They both understood the importance of just being able to breathe, of having a moment to appreciate the simple, the good, and the clean. 

The trees here were mostly towering pines, and the forest floor was covered in the vivid orange of fallen needles and the neon green of ferns. It was like a dream, saturated with color and life. Even Karen’s hair was more golden in the light, her eyes more blue. 

They were walking slowly, in no rush to arrive anywhere. Side by side. Not talking much, but pointing out things they noticed; a pair of black squirrels, a doe and her fawn, a bird’s nest on a low branch with three speckled eggs inside.  Frank spotted a wild raspberry bush and walked over to it, crouching down to see if there were any berries big enough to be sweet. There were a couple. He picked one and raised it up for Karen, wanting her to take it and try it. Instead of plucking it from his fingers like he expected, she stepped closer and bent down. She ate it from his hand. Her lips brushed his thumb. 

_ Jesus.  _ There was a heavy thud inside him. He felt his eyes go wide. He turned back to the bush so she couldn’t see his face. Frank grabbed a random berry and popped it in his mouth. It was small and sour but he didn’t care, appreciating anything as a distraction from the way Karen just got his blood pumping. Did she have any idea how the little things she did affected him? A look, the smallest touch, made him… 

Frank found another berry, a big one, red and sweet. He turned back to Karen and lifted the berry slowly, experimentally, to her lips. She opened her mouth and he could swear to God she let her lips drag against his fingers a little longer this time as she ate what he fed her.  _ Hell. _ Did she know? She had to, right? 

The animal part of him wanted nothing more than to pick her up over his shoulder, carry her back to the cabin, kick the door shut, and pin her to the wall. But in the next second, Karen’s eyes were sparkling. She stood up again and kept walking. Frank followed, bringing the animal inside him to heel, silently roasting himself for letting her rile him up. 

They walked for a long time, deeper and deeper into the forest. Not fearing getting lost because their cabin was at the top of an easily identifiable hill. On their way back, Karen asked him if he wanted to see something  _ amazing. _ Of course he said yes. She led him around the cabin to a small shed and swung open the doors. 

Holy shit. Inside was a classic Harley. It must have been from the mid sixties, when bikes were simple and streamlined and perfect. 

“Goddamn.” He whispered. Stepping up to the bike and running his hands over it. “Please tell me this still works.”

Karen grinned. “I don’t know! There’s gas in the tank, but I have no idea where the keys are so I haven’t been able to start her up.”

Frank squinted at her. “Do you ride?”

She shook her head. “Not really- I’ve only been a motorcycle a couple of times when I was in highschool. Can you drive?”

She looked so excited. So damn pretty. 

“Yeah. We gotta find those keys so I can take you out.”

Karen’s face lit up like the fourth of July. “Yes, please.” 

There she went. Making his heart thump in his chest without even trying. 

Frank tore his eyes from her face to look around the shed, distracting himself again. Logs for firewood were piled high against the wall. There was an axe hanging on some hooks nearby. Frank reached to test the blade with his thumb. Very sharp. 

“Do we have a fire pit here?”

Karen’s grin got even bigger somehow. “Yeah. It's filled up with leaves, but I could clean it out if you split some logs?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

She looked like she might just start skipping as she grabbed a shovel and led him to the fire pit. It was big and surrounded by a couple of giant tree trunk benches. Frank followed her with a wheelbarrow filled with wood. A stump was there ready for him to use as a chopping block. 

Frank breathed in deep, loving the glide of all that clean air in his lungs. His muscles were already heating up, ready to work. There was a little needling thought about his healing shoulder, about how he was supposed to ease off it and let it heal, but this was too good a chance to pass up. Chopping wood was fun. He probably hadn’t actually done this since… SERE School? Jesus, that felt like 3 lifetimes ago. He set up the first log. It was dry and eager to split. The old axe he’d found in the shed was nice and heavy. This wouldn’t be too hard. His shoulder would be fine. 

Once he got the feel for the axe, he swung away. The logs cracked and split under his hands. So satisfying. Frank was damn near close to whistling. Every once in a while he’d glance over at Karen. He kept catching her watching him. It made him feel good. Then again, with the amount of times he caught her watching him, it might have been her catching him doing the watching. 

She dug all the leaves out of the firepit and headed back to the shed. Frank was beginning to work up a sweat. He started shedding layers. By the time Karen returned with a rake to clear the rest of the area, he was down to his tank top. She stopped in her tracks. 

Frank swung the axe again, cracking another log in half, and looked up to catch Karen leaning on her rake, staring. He expected her to look away quickly, like she’d done every time they locked eyes, but instead she let out a long wolf whistle. Like a rowdy construction worker. 

Frank froze. Not sure he’d really heard what he thought he just heard. But Karen just wagged her eyebrows up and down like a cartoon. Frank dropped the axe and laughed. A full belly laugh. Goddamn, she killed him. He loved it. Frank shook his head and got back to work, knowing his ears, maybe his entire head had gone completely red. 

Frank showered off while Karen made dinner. She chose easy picnic stuff, bread and cheese, fruits and vegetables, a bottle of red. She spread it all out on a blanket while he got the fire started. It was a little cold outside, but once the fire was blazing it would be  perfect. 

Frank felt like a different person as he sat there eating and drinking wine, laughing with a beautiful woman in front of a roaring fire. Karen was grinning at him over her glass, telling him a story about her and her brother in highschool. He loved watching her laugh. She was all golden in the fire light. He could hardly remember a time when he’d felt this relaxed, this content.

Like clockwork, Maria and the kids floated to the top of his mind. He wished he could have brought them to a place like this. They would have loved it. Especially Frankie. He would have loved to chop the wood and light the fire. Their faces filled his mind like they always did whenever his longing for them sharpened to a point and poked at him. The difference here was that Karen was a talisman against the demons that turned these moments into monsters. With Karen, the memories were just bittersweet. He could talk about Maria, laugh about his kids, roll his eyes at himself and his blundering as a young dad, not knowing shit about shit. 

They leaned back against the big log behind them. Wine glasses were set aside. Drinking straight from the bottle and passing it back and forth was much better. They were sitting close. So close it was easy to reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear as she sighed, so close it was easy to see her blush when he did it. He watched her take another sip of wine, her lips were getting so red. Red like the berries he’d fed her in the forest. 

Karen handed him the bottle and got up. The fire was starting to die down and she grabbed a few more logs to feed it. Frank watched her, he couldn’t have dragged his gaze away if he tried. She knelt by the fire, tipping the new logs into the blaze as carefully as she could, sending bursts of orange sparks into the air. She blew into the fire a few times, getting the flames to roar even hotter, making sure the new logs lit up. She smiled at him while she worked. Her smile made his head spin more than all the wine. 

When she came back to sit down, Frank reached for her hand. She took it automatically, but with a question in her eyes, not knowing what he wanted. What he wanted was for her to sit _ with _ him, not next to him. He pulled her in before he’d made the conscious decision to do so, his hands operating separately from his brain. He had her sitting between his legs with her back to his chest and his arms wrapped around her in a matter of seconds. 

Karen followed his lead, but he could tell she was surprised. He could feel the tension in her body. He hoped this was ok. He just wanted to get closer, needed to touch her. He couldn’t fucking help it, everything inside him was calling out to her. He wanted to be as close as he could possibly get. 

She was amazing, like always. It only took Karen a few moments to adjust to this new proximity, to the open intention in his touch. Then she leaned back against him, resting her head on his shoulder, joining their hands. 

Frank closed his eyes. This was the most honest he’d ever been with Karen, and they weren’t even talking. He wasn’t protecting her from danger, they weren’t comforting each other from some sad memory… he pulled her close because that’s where he wanted her. He wanted Karen so close that he could feel her heartbeat in his own chest.  _ He _ wanted it. Not the Punisher, not the job, or any other bullshit fragmented part of himself. Frank  _ wanted _ . And it was like he couldn’t contain it.

For the first time in way too long, Frank Castle was wide awake. 

  
  


:::

  
  


He was doing that thing. She remembered it from that time on the train. 

Frank was pressing his lips to her hair, every so often changing the pressure against her temple. It was barely a change at all, but it made a world of difference. It was the difference between a simple touch and a kiss. It was the difference between wondering what was happening between them, and knowing for certain. 

Karen’s entire body was electrified. It felt like any moment she’d just start vibrating there in his arms. They hadn’t spoken a word, but she was glad for it because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to form complete sentences at the moment. Her thoughts were flickering and incomplete. Time itself seemed to stop moving, but then again maybe not… Frank pulled her into his arms in front of a blazing fire, now all that was left were glowing embers.

The night air on her skin was icy cold, but the man behind her, holding her tight, running his knuckles slowly up and down her arms, he was as hot as the fire had been. The contrast was delicious. Karen’s hands had somehow made their way to his knees, which bracketed her in and held her tight. She was etching little patterns into the texture of his jeans with her nails. 

The butterflies in Karen’s stomach seemed to multiply as the fire got lower. Now they were all flitting and fluttering around everywhere. 

This was different. The way she felt, the way he was holding her, the way he’d looked at her when he pulled her close… it was different. New. And it meant the world had changed. So much was possible. So much she wanted, and so much she feared. So much she’d hoped for, and so much she'd told herself she'd never get.  Karen was so keyed up she could barely breathe. She was so turned on she could barely think. The swirl of it all had the flavor of panic. She almost wanted to laugh at herself. Feeling like a teenage girl knowing she was finally about to get her first kiss. 

A gust of cold wind blustered through their little clearing. Karen shivered. 

“You cold?” Frank asked against her hair. His voice was so low, she felt the rumble more than she heard the words. 

“A little.” But then she gave herself away by shivering again. 

He squeezed her tight. “Let’s head in.”

The moon was so bright they could see easily in the dark even though the light from the fire had died. They moved slowly. Frank helped her up, running his hands up and down her arms with the easy pretext of warming her up, when they both knew he just wanted to keep touching her, he didn’t want to let go. Karen was blushing so bad she feared he’d be able to see it through the dark. 

She wanted to grab him and kiss him. She wanted to straddle him on the ground. She wanted to run away and hide. She wanted a hell of a lot. 

It was a relief when he finally stepped away. Karen closed her eyes and breathed deep. She let the cold night air cool her overheated skin. She gathered their picnic while Frank bundled up the blanket. She had her arms full as they made their way back to the cabin. Frank was hovering. So physical. His hand gliding from between her shoulder blades to the small of her back as they walked. Squeezing her hip as they entered the cabin. He tossed the blanket aside and took the picnic basket from her arms. 

With nothing to occupy her hands Karen’s nerves doubled, it felt like she was bubbling over. Why the hell was she feeling like this? This is what she wanted. What she had been waiting for. Why was she feeling so goddamn skittish  _ now? _

Frank set the basket on the kitchen table and turned to her. The hunger in his look was unmistakable. His shoulders were tight, his hands loose, and his eyes… his eyes were deep dark pools that she knew she could dive into and never find the bottom. And she’d never make it back to the surface. 

_ God… _

It was a lot. He was a lot. 

Frank stepped into her space again. So close their chests were almost touching, but he didn’t reach out to her. Karen saw a caution in his eyes, like he could read how suddenly nervous she was and he wanted to give her space even though the restraint was killing him. The pull between their bodies was a force she’d never felt before. She was surprised they couldn’t see bolts of electricity shooting between them, lighting up the room. Karen was getting light headed. 

“I’m gonna go take care of the fire.” He said, low, like it was a secret. 

Karen nodded. His gaze was floating all around her face, dropping down to her mouth then seeking out her eyes again. She froze as he leaned in slow. She felt the lightest, most beautiful kiss on her cheek, the rush of his breath on her neck. Then Frank stepped past her and out the door to tend to the fire outside. 

The moment the door closed, Karen’s breath whooshed out of her. She had her own fire to deal with. She unzipped her fleece and flung it off, not caring where it landed. She raked her fingers through her hair and lifted it off her neck. She walked up to the big wall of windows and stared out. The moon was so bright, she could see the entire landscape easily, the dark hills outlined in silvery blue. She could also see her reflection in the glass. 

Karen stared into her own eyes.  _ Get it together.  _

She wanted to shake off this edgy feeling, but there was a voice in the back of her mind that just wouldn’t shut up. It was hissing in her ear, whispering everything she feared. That this was all going to end badly. That no matter how good and right everything felt right now, it would all evaporate in the morning. That Frank would turn to her with those big brown eyes, all glassy and shuttered, and tell her he had to go, it had been a mistake, she should stay away… that he didn’t want her. 

Karen shook her head, trying to slam the door on those thoughts. He’d come here, hadn’t he? He chose. Everything he’d done and said since he arrived spoke the truth of how much he cared, how much she mattered. But, maybe that was part of her anxiety. Karen watched her reflection bite her lip. This place, it was special. Was this only happening because they were here? This honesty, this connection that grew deeper and more powerful by the second- would it all melt away in the furnace of everything that waited for them back in New York whenever the hell she’d be able to go home? 

That would kill her. 

_ No. _ She closed her eyes. It wouldn’t kill her. She’d survive it the same way she’d survived everything else. But still, it would be a loss, a death. Another ghost to haunt her at night along with the rest of them. Frank Castle had carved a place for himself way down deep inside her, into the marrow. Losing him would be like losing a limb, or a sense.

Karen almost laughed to herself. Who was she kidding? Having sex with him wasn’t going to change any of that. She was already in too deep. She loved him. She wasn’t afraid to admit that to herself, she hadn’t been for a while now. She didn’t think she was ready to share that information with Frank quite yet, but she couldn’t lie to herself enough to imagine that their relationship could ever go back to “normal” after the moments they’ve shared here on this mountain, innocent though they’ve been. 

Karen ran her fingertips over the smooth, cold glass of the windows, remembering the way he held her when she cried this morning, the way they laughed together by the fire, the way he curled into her and slept with his face buried in her belly last night. There was no going back from here. Not for her. 

Neither of them could predict the future. Frank could’t promise her he’d never leave or that things would work out perfectly, anymore than she could promise him that she’d stay out of danger or trouble would never find them. All they could do was try. 

And in this, at least, Karen felt certain. Frank wanted to try. _Finally._ She could hear it in his voice, see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch.  _ God- _ could she feel it. 

Her body was a live wire. Even all of this internal turmoil hadn’t had much of an effect of cooling her off. Karen breathed. This entire day had been foreplay. She ached with how much she wanted him. Karen was almost embarrassed by how affected she was. She was close to shivering every time he looked her way, nearly whimpering at his touch. Just standing here right now she could feel how wet she was, so ready. The fleeting idea of touching herself sent a flush through her. The thought of Frank entering the cabin to find her already started, already moaning his name… 

_ Lord _ . 

Karen raked her hand back through her hair and glanced towards the bedside table. When she first arrived she’d been embarrassed at what she found while she was poking through Trish’s drawers, but now she was grateful. Among other things that made Karen blush like crazy, she’d found a stash of condoms. 

Karen looked herself in the eyes again. Her reflection in the glass gave her a little smile. She allowed herself to soak in this feeling, this standing-on-the-edge-of-a-cliff feeling that was trickling through her veins. Karen had been blindsided by life more times than she could count. What was happening right now was different… It was novel to float in a moment of peace and absorb the feeling of something big coming her way, to stand in waiting for her life about to change. 

Behind her, the cabin door opened. She heard Frank shut the door quietly and take a few slow steps, and then he was standing still. 

_ Don’t look back. Don’t look back. _

The voice was back. She’d trained herself not to look back at Frank, always knowing if she ever looked there would be consequences. Everything might change. She’d have no control over what would happen next. 

She told that voice to hush. 

Karen turned. 

Frank stood across the room. Open longing was clear on his face and he wasn’t trying to hide it. He rocked slightly on his feet, like he was waiting. 

_ No more waiting. _

“Frank…” 

It was all she could think to say. But apparently it was enough. 

Frank crossed the room with heavy steps. When he was close enough to touch her, he did. Both of his hands slid into her hair. Karen grabbed hold of him by his shirt. He stared into her eyes, his chest rising and falling like he was already out of breath. One of his thumbs stroked her cheek, her lip. 

Frank closed his eyes and breathed, like he needed to center himself. When he opened them back up they were on fire. Karen felt it all the way down to her toes. 

“Is this ok?” He exhaled. 

_ “Yes-”  _ was all she could get out before his mouth took hers. And his hands were fists in her hair, and hers were clinging to him, dragging him closer. 

This wasn’t the first time they’d ever kissed. It wasn’t even the first time they’d kissed _today._ But it was unlike anything ever before. Frank was pouring himself out, covering her in sweet certainty that he'd been as just desperate for her as she was for him. The moment she felt his tongue against hers Karen shivered and Frank grunted at the feeling. His kiss was everything he was, intense and beautiful and surprising. His lips were so soft, the rasp of his beard against her face so gentle, but the power behind his kiss, the sheer strength of it nearly bowled her over. His mouth took hers again and again, slanting from one side to the other, drinking her down. Karen let herself revel in the feeling, let herself get swept up in it, dragged into his undertow, tossed by his waves. 

His hands on her were everything. Frank’s fingers splayed across her back, squeezed at her hips, even circled her throat for the briefest moment that sent her heart racing under his delicate touch. He tipped her chin to the side, dragging his lips away from hers so he could lean down to taste her neck. Karen gasped for breath, his mouth on her skin shocking her system in such a delicious way. It was like he was going to devour her. Karen was practically panting. 

More skin. Now. 

Karen’s fingers found the hem of his shirt and started to tug. Frank caught on quickly. He reached behind his neck with both hands and pulled his shirt up and off in one move. The muscles of his chest and arms bunched and stretched as he yanked his sleeves where they tangled at his wrists. He reached for her face again as soon as her hands were free, but Karen caught him. She kissed his fingers before bringing his hands back down to his sides. 

He was quite a sight. Frank’s bare skin was something she’d imagined a hundred times, but here and now in the moonlight, it was so much better. He was so beautiful. She let herself look. She let herself touch. Karen’s fingertips skimmed over his chest. They explored the dips and ridges of his muscles. The way he twitched under her fingers was something she’d never forget. Karen could feel the tension in Frank’s body. She could tell he wanted to sweep her up again, to continue where he’d left off ravaging her with kisses, but he held himself back. He read her well enough to tell she needed this time, that she’d been waiting for it. 

There was a gnarly wound on his shoulder that looked long healed over. She kissed it, noting the catch in Frank’s breath as she did. Her thumb discovered another scar low on his belly… something that had probably nearly killed him.  _ God. _ She laid her palm over the whole thing wishing she could make it go away. Along his opposite ribs she found fresh bruises.  _ Shit- _ was he injured? And this whole time he never said anything? 

Her face must have shown her shock, because suddenly his hands were rubbing up and down her arms. He mumbled something about being ok, but Karen shushed him. He didn’t need to make excuses. Not right now. Karen stepped around him, squeezing his bicep as she went. Then she was running her hands over his back, exploring the expanse of him. There were more scars here that needed kisses. More warm skin that needed to be touched. Frank was trying so hard to keep still for her that his muscles were rigid. Karen’s head was spinning. She planted a soft kiss on the back of his neck and let her hands slither around to his stomach, her fingers grazing his belly button. Frank groaned, just about at the end of what he could take. She made her way back around in front of him again. He was clenching his jaw, his pupils so blown out that his eyes had gone completely black. 

He looked so hot right now. Karen bit her lip.

Karen reached for the hem of her own shirt and pulled it over her head. She caught a glimpse of Frank as her hair floated back down around her. His lips parted as he took her in, his eyes ate up the sight of her. They floated over her belly and lingered on her breasts in her little lilac bra. It was the prettiest one she had on hand and… she hoped he liked it. She’d been thinking of him when she selected it this morning. Luckily for Karen, he was as easy to read as ever. He liked it. 

He was reaching for her again by the time his eyes drifted back up to hers. He crushed her to him. So much of his skin pressed up against so much of hers. It was amazing. Karen moaned. A little sound was ripped out of Frank’s throat too, low and rough. And suddenly she was no longer standing on her own two feet. Frank grabbed her ass with a grunt and lifted her up.  _ God, he’s strong. _ They were almost the same height, but he lifted her so easily. Karen wrapped her legs around his hips and had her fingers in his hair, she kissed him like he was the oxygen she needed to breathe. Because he was,  _ he was.  _

Frank walked slowly, taking his time. Pulling her even closer as Karen began to grind against him, encouraging her circling hips with his hands. He was lighting her on fire, she was burning up. The moment Frank set her down on the edge of the bed Karen’s hands got to work grabbing for his belt, but he caught her fingers and distracted her with a kiss while he started working on her jeans instead. She let him get away with it because -  _ damn  _ \- it was a win win. Karen was wiggling her hips, helping him drag her jeans and panties off at the same time. She shrugged out of her bra by the time he tossed away the rest of her clothes and all of a sudden, she was naked. 

Karen’s world froze as he stared down at her. She was spread out on the bed for him as he stood between her thighs, still holding one of her legs by the ankle. She’d never felt more exposed in her life. He’d never looked more powerful. She throbbed.  _ Jesus, Frank.  _

Frank’s eyes drifted the length of her body, lingering as they pleased, wherever he wanted, for as long as he wanted. When he finally met her eyes again he looked like he might say something, but he just breathed. Frank leaned in slowly, taking one of her breasts with his mouth while he wrapped his arm around her middle. He prowled up the bed, dragging her toward the pillows and licking at her nipple as he went, before laying her down. Karen sighed at the gentle way he handled her, carding her fingers through his hair and massaging his shoulders. 

Frank gave her a look. He lowered his head, planting big, open mouthed kisses that migrated down her body, from her belly, to her hips, to her thighs. Karen’s heart started hammering. Of all the scenarios she hadn’t been able to stop herself from imagining, all the dirty thoughts about Frank that made her blush... this was what had her writhing in her sheets the most. 

_ Fuck, Frank…  _

He kissed her the inside of her knee, making himself comfortable between her legs. He was giving her that grin of his, the one that lived more in his eyes than in his lips, but she saw it there. She couldn’t help but smile back. Frank’s big rough palms were grazing up and down her thighs, but now his hand moved in, made its way to her center. Karen’s smile became a whimper in an instant.  _ God- she was so fucking ready, _ wet and needy for him… Frank’s eyes went wide at the feel of her, at the response he got from the slightest touch. Karen’s body had been building toward this for hours, she was already on a razor's edge. Frank had no idea how close she already was. She felt wanton and a little insane, but couldn’t deny herself anymore. Frank’s fingers started to make slow circles. Karen gasped, rolling her hips, almost tearing up… 

_“Yes!_ Please, _please,_ _please…”_

Frank took it like an order. He circled faster as his mouth hung open, watching her face, hardly able to believe what he was seeing. Karen locked eyes with him as long as she could, but it was barely a minute before her back arched high and her orgasm slammed into her like an ocean wave. 

When Karen surfaced, gasping for breath, Frank was running his hands over her again, soothing and steadying. He was still wide eyed, still open mouthed. 

“Jesus, Karen…” He whispered, a little buzzed by how quickly she’d come. 

Karen blushed, burning up. “I… I’ve wanted this, Frank. For a long time.” 

Frank’s brow crunched up and his nose twitched in that way that was so endearing, so Frank. 

“Me too, Karen. Christ…” 

And then he was kissing her thighs with a new hunger. His beard against her sensitive skin was incredible. He was using his teeth, his tongue. It was almost like he was in his own little world, until he locked eyes with Karen again. He dared her to look away as he placed his first kiss down over her clit. 

_ Oh God.  _ She moaned out loud. A real, overwhelmed, over pleasured moan that she barely recognized as her own voice. 

Karen had moved around a lot, but the thing all of her apartments had in common was thin walls and nosy neighbors. She never really had the freedom to let loose during sex without the worry of being overheard. Not that all of her experiences had been moan-worthy… but still. There was always that restraint, always that limit in the back of her mind. But here, no one else would hear them. Any sound she made was for Frank and Frank alone. There was something wonderfully freeing about that. It made her feel all shiny. Emboldened, sexier, more confident. So, when Frank pushed a finger inside her and curled it just right, she whined to let him know just how good it felt. His tongue, his beard, hell, even just his hot breath against her- it all felt so amazing and she didn’t keep it a secret. She whimpered, and sighed, and yes, a couple of times just let herself moan like a porn star. She might have been embarrassed if she’d been able to formulate a complete thought. 

Frank’s responses egged her on. He was loving it, answering her calls with growls of his own, working her over to try and find her sweetspots. His hands were everywhere, her breasts, her belly, her legs, her feet. Her entire body was his for the taking, and he took. He was good.  _ Goddamn good. _ Karen’s fingers were in his hair and scrabbling at his shoulders. How the hell was he doing this? He already had her racing toward that cliff again. 

_ “Mmmm… _ Frank-” She hummed, almost out of her mind with pleasure. Writhing against his face in the few moments he didn't have her pinned down. He grunted at her, planting a few more heavy kisses and licks to her center.  _ Yes, yes, yesFrankplease… _ Then Frank closed his eyes and sucked.

_ GOD. _

Karen came again, gasping his name and trembling in his arms. She left her body behind for a minute in Frank’s care. This time he let her come down from her high, soothing her with little kisses, gentle touches. Her entire body was sparkling. 

When she could open her eyes again, Karen looked down at Frank. He hadn’t moved. He was lingering between her legs, resting his head on her thigh, watching her. His eyes were soft. It sent every honest and lovely feeling inside Karen fluttering all around. 

“Come here.” She beckoned him with her fingers. 

Frank rose like a mountain, pausing only to kick off his boots and socks before stretching out over her. Karen reached for him and pulled him close, sighing into the most satisfying kiss she’d ever received.  _ Yes. _ How long had she been waiting to feel this? Frank’s skin against her skin, his hips cradled between her thighs, his lips and tongue and teeth and breath. Frank groaned against her mouth and it rumbled in her own chest. His skin was hot and his beard was damp and his lips tasted of her and everything about him was drenched in sex. And it was wrecking her. Karen wanted to wreck him just as bad. She wrapped her legs all the way around him and pulled him closer so she could cant her hips up into his. Both of their breaths went ragged as she could suddenly feel how hard he was through his jeans and they began to move together in a delicious grind. 

She gave his hair one last little tug that made his breath catch between kisses, then she let her hands drag down his back, loving the way she could feel his taut muscles flex as he moved. When she reached the waist of his pants her hands circled around to his front. Frank lifted his hips to help her. They stared into each other’s eyes as she worked to get his pants undone, as she reached inside.  _ Good Lord,  _ he was even more than she’d dared to imagine. Karen felt her skin prickle, breaking out in a sweat at the feel of him. 

Frank’s eyes squeezed shut as she began to stroke him, his jaw worked, his entire body went rigid. So hot. 

“Frank…” 

Brown eyes flickered open at the sound of her voice. 

“I can’t believe I’m getting to touch you like this.”

Karen tightened her grip, sped up just so. Frank’s jaw went a little slack.

“Finally. _”_ Karen breathed. “ _Finally. God,_ I want you so-” 

But she didn’t get to complete her thought, because Frank made a choked noise in the back of his throat and was suddenly kissing her like he wanted to drown in her, suddenly thrusting into her hand with a rhythm that sent her pulse racing. Karen worked him over as he dominated her with his kiss until she felt like she was drowning in him too. A few more thrusts of his hips and suddenly he wrenched his mouth away from hers. He reached down and grabbed her hand by the wrist, pulling it away from him and pinning it to the mattress. His breathing was heavy and he looked up at Karen again with glazed eyes. She’d wanted to wreck him… it looked like she was getting there. 

Karen shifted on her shoulders and Frank understood. They rolled to get the rest of his clothes off and she pushed him onto his back. She straddled him, her pulse pounding in her ears. Karen felt drunk as she looked down at him. 

Frank Castle, bare, laid out for her. So hard. Breathing heavy. He was looking up at her from under his brow, biting the inside of his cheek. There was something so vulnerable about him in this moment. He almost looked shy. His knuckles started skimming her thighs. There was a gentle sweetness in him that no one else in the world got to see. Only Karen. It made her want to give him everything, to promise him anything. 

Karen smiled down at him, leaning in to give him a reassuring kiss. Frank surged up to deepen it, but Karen held him back with the press of her fingertips to his chest. He laid back down. Being able to control such a powerful man with the slightest touch… it was heady, it sent that amazing throbbing ache through her all over again. 

She kept her hand on his chest as she leaned over to the bedside table, opened the drawer, and pulled out a condom. She raised a brow at him.  _ Ready? _

Karen could read his eyes shouting  _ yes yes yes _ , but it was good that he nodded emphatically, too. Frank’s fingers dug into her hips as she rolled the condom over him. She wasn’t trying to tease him, but how could she resist giving him a few extra strokes when his responses were so perfect, when his breathing got so fevered. He was so fucking gorgeous like this.  _ Lord. _

Karen rose and guided him into place. She wanted to watch him, to catalog every little moment, but she could barely think. It had been a long time since she’d been with anyone like this. A _long_ time. Frank was stretching her, filling her up in a way that was overwhelmingly wonderful even as it hurt a little. It took a few slow rolls of her hips to take him all the way in. Once she was fully seated she stilled, savoring the fullness, allowing her body to adjust. Karen heard herself moan and Frank let out a feral noise of his own. 

He grabbed her ass, eyes shut tight. Karen rocked, loving the way it made him move inside her. He was already hitting deep places that were going to have her seeing stars. Karen leaned both hands on his chest, rolling her hips, adding in a little swivel experimentally that made them both gasp. It was exquisite, but she needed more.

She leaned over him further, moving her hands from his chest to the bed above his shoulders. He was looking up at her like she was the eighth wonder of the world, like she was the first star he’d ever seen in the night sky. She started to really move, wanting to drive him crazy, knowing her own sanity was a lost cause. Her breasts were in his face and Frank took full advantage. His hands wrapped around her rib cage as he kissed first one breast, then the other.  _ Mmmmhmmm. _ His mouth was so hot and his tongue flicking over her nipples was amazing, but it was the little pinch of his teeth that had her voice cracking as she whimpered his name, and  _ yes, _ and  _ oh God.  _ The feel of him sliding in and out of her was incredible. At some point her elbows collapsed and she fell against him. Frank’s arms came up and locked her to his chest as his hips started to piston up into her.  _ Jesus. _ He was driving into her, rocking her against him, holding her so close that his lips were pressed against her ear and she could hear all the low grinding noises in his throat, every panting breath. It was so good. So good.  _ Too good.  _

Karen pressed herself up again, sitting tall, knowing she was so close. She rode him as hard and fast as she could, an endless litany of moans now streaming from her lips. Frank’s gaze was fixed down where they were joined. He couldn’t look away from the sweet sight of himself plunging in and out of her. Karen watched his face, getting hotter, closer to the edge. 

Frank’s eyes shot up to hers. They burned her. Karen was on fire.  _ Holy shit. _

Frank was an intense man. She’d seen the way he could focus, the way he could seethe, the way he could practically emit raw power. She’d seen it as he readied himself to kill those men in the diner, and when she spotted him on that rooftop the night he saved Matt. She’d seen it when she grabbed the white wire on Lewis Wilson’s suicide vest and Frank’s eyes bored into hers telling her exactly what to do. Right here, right now, she had  _ all _ that intensity directed at her. Being the center of Frank’s complete attention was not for the faint of heart. In fact, it made her a little woozy. Karen’s rhythm started to falter, but Frank was there, steadying her with his hands, moving for her. And the whole time his eyes-  _ his eyes… _ She moaned, her fingernails digging into his chest- she was so  _ so close… Frank please…  _

In a flash, her world spun. Suddenly Karen was on her back, among the pillows, and Frank loomed over her. His breathing was labored, eyes urgent.

_ “Fuck,  _ Karen. _ ”  _ He groaned, lining them up again before bucking back inside her. 

GOD- he was perfect, hitting her exactly the way she needed him to.  _ “Frank!” _

He bore down, thrusting harder and deeper. He was growling in her ear that she felt so good. That she was perfect. That she was beautiful. That he’d wanted her for so long…

His sweetness made her shiver. Frank’s thrusts started to get more desperate, the sounds he made grew more strained, more beyond his control. Frank buried his face in her neck. Karen held on tighter, needing him to know she was right there with him. She kissed his temple, she moaned into his hair. She ran her tongue around the shell of his ear and bit the lobe. 

Frank lost it. He growled. She hadn’t heard a sound like that from him yet and it made her clench around him harder than ever, feeling the thrill echoing through her entire body. He reared up, wild eyed, found a new hold on her hips and started pounding into her with a speed that Karen hadn’t thought possible.  _ Jesus Christ- so good…  _

She squealed, barely recognizing the high pitch of her voice. 

“Yeah. Sweetheart…  _ come...”  _ He pressed his forehead to hers, whispering across her lips. Karen felt her body starting to float… “Give it up for me…  _ come on... _ ” 

He was shuddering, he groaned into her mouth as he kissed her again. And that was all it took. Karen shattered. Her voice echoed off the walls of the cabin as she shivered and arched in his arms. Frank followed close behind, hearing her moan and feeling her clench pushing him over the edge.

It was a warm and wonderful feeling, coming back down to earth with Frank. He was so attentive, so gentle as he soothed her, making sure she was all well. His hand came to rest around her throat as he kissed her. There was no pressure, it wasn’t really a power move, but to Karen it felt possessive in the most piquant of ways. It made her want to curl up in his lap and purr.

Bells were ringing in her mind.  _ I love you, I love you. _ She wasn’t ready to say it and she didn’t think he was ready to hear it, but…  _ God, _ it was as true. 

So much touching. So much kissing. So many heated looks before Frank carefully pulled out and removed the condom. He pressed a little peck to Karen’s forehead and rolled out of bed to use the bathroom and toss it away. Karen took the alone time to stare up at the ceiling, blinking and blushing. 

_ Good Lord. _ That's what its like to fuck Frank Castle. 

Karen moved so she could pull back the covers and slide under. She glanced toward the bathroom door knowing Frank was in there, probably processing the same sort of  _ holy shit _ thoughts that she was. But… his might be a bit more complicated. She was probably the first woman he’d been with since Maria. He might need a minute. He might need some space.

She hoped to God he didn’t need space. 

The bathroom door opened and Frank strode back to her with a naked confidence that sent sparks up her spine even though her body was boneless and sex wrecked. He crawled under the covers and had his big hands running all over her again within seconds. Karen smiled to herself. He didn’t want space.

Frank was biting his cheek, fighting back his smile in that bashful way that made her melt. He rolled them so she was on her back and he was leaning over her, one leg tangled between hers. He spread his hand across her belly.

“Karen, that was…” He trailed off, not seeming to know what to say. She could see words forming on his lips before he swallowed them back down. He was nervous. 

Karen touched his face. He always seemed to relax when she did that. She smiled. 

“I know.”

He rolled his eyes at himself and nudged her nose with his.  _ I know you know. _

Karen laughed softly.  _ I know. _

Frank huffed a laugh and kissed her as his hand floated up to her throat again. This was a new kiss. It was relaxed and languid and could last for hours if they let it. It asked no questions, it had no urgency. 

It was her favorite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Friends! 
> 
> This one's coming in a little late in the day- but its finished! AGH- this chapter was a beast for a couple of reasons. 
> 
> Firstly, I'd noticed that as much as I enjoy writing steamy scenes for these two- I haven't written enough of them from Karen's POV. For some reason, it's just easier for me to be in Frank's head in those moments. So, I told myself that this one needed to be Karen's POV. It was harder than I'd expected, but I'm glad I stuck with it and am pretty happy with how it shaped up. 
> 
> Secondly, I started writing a conversation between them that I thought was going to be really simple, but it ended up exploding in my face. After struggling for a while, I actually removed it from this chapter and added a new chapter to this story to give that convo space to breath- so now you'll see this story is going to be 7 chapters instead of 6. I'm nervous about it... wish me luck again:) 
> 
> As always- thank you SO MUCH for reading!! I can't explain how much joy it brings me to know that people are enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it- and the comments and kind words are just next level inspiration to me:) THANK YOU THANK YOU!!


	6. Chapter 6

Frank’s body lurched awake, but this time he didn’t break out into a sweat. His eyes opened to a sea of blonde hair, the weight of a beautiful woman draped across his chest, her smooth skin under his hands. Jesus. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up without a jolt of fear. The magic of Karen Page. It knew no bounds. 

He tried not to move. He didn’t want to change a thing. Frank inhaled a slow steady breath. Both he and Karen still carried the lingering scent of the fire from last night, but now it was laced with the undercurrent of sex. He wished he could memorize the smell. Bottle it up and save it for later. 

Outside the big wall of windows was a gorgeous morning. Blue sky. Mist near the treetops. Peace. Stillness. Quiet. Might as well have been on another planet. The rest of the world could be on fire, but here on top of this mountain with Karen, everything was good. She made it that way.

Karen shifted against him, the smooth glide of her skin filling his head with vivid memories. A highlight reel started playing in his mind, he couldn’t help it. Being with her, finally getting to touch and hold and possess… It was amazing. She took him by surprise, she read his mind, she overwhelmed him. And their first time was just the beginning. 

Frank’s eyes drifted closed again remembering the moment last night when he woke, hard and aching, already grinding against her with his mouth on the sensitive spot behind her ear. He didn’t know who’d woken up first, or if they’d just started moving together in their sleep, but they were both awake now. Gasping, pressing closer, already too needy to think straight. Frank had reached for the bedside table where he’d seen her find a condom before. His sleep and sex muddled mind had him fumbling with the drawer. Karen’s voice cut through the haze in a throaty moan.

_ “Frank- _ I’m on birth control, and I’m good if you…” Her voice trailed off in a sigh. 

His pulse blasted into overdrive. He nodded into the back of her neck, groaned that he was clean too, and slid inside. Incredible. She was so wet, so perfect. Frank savored it, keeping a slow pace as he dragged himself in and out of her. He kissed and nipped at her shoulder, explored her body with his hands, did everything he could to coax those moans and sighs from her lips.  _ God,  _ the sounds she made… 

It went on forever, their blissed out struggle and strain, until he finally heard that little whimper, the one that sounded like begging. It lit him up, he let himself thrust faster, let his hand reach around and dip down between her legs to get them both there together. Karen responded to him so expressively, he could read her so easily. She was writhing, dancing for him, moving like magic. She was moaning, gasping, arching back against him. He was lost in her, somehow managing to tip her over the edge before dove off himself. So intense. So perfect.

Frank studied her now, his heart thumping steadily harder. Beautiful. Long hair and smooth skin, soft lips and blushing cheeks. The longer he looked the more his chest filled up with a pressure he could barely describe, it was some mixture of tenderness and possessiveness and hunger. He was still so damn hungry for her. He’d never get his fill. He was almost afraid of how much he wanted her, how many ways. He wanted to dedicate the rest of his life to making her moan. 

Frank was starting to overheat just thinking about it. He needed to cool down. He didn’t want Karen to wake up and find him like this, hard as a rock and ready to sink his teeth into her. He wanted to give her something sweet. To spoil her. To make her smile and laugh. 

Pancakes.

Hell. Frank almost laughed at himself. Getting to cook for her and feed her was almost as much of a turn on as sex. _This woman._ Dangerous. He rolled out of bed and managed to tuck her back in without waking her. Her nakedness under the sheets only distracting him for a few thumping heartbeats. 

Frank picked up his jeans from the pile they were left in near the end of the bed. He pulled them on and made his way to the kitchen. He poked around, gathering his ingredients, loving the fact that everything he wanted was at his fingertips. This kitchen was something he’d never recover from. 

Before long, coffee was percolating. His batter was ready and he decided to toss some bacon into the oven as he heated up the griddle. He debated adding chocolate chips to the pancakes, wondering if Karen would like it, but decided just to add a few extra drops of vanilla instead. The sweet scent once the batter hit the griddle confirmed he’d chosen well. 

Frank searched the drawers for a spatula and found something that had him grinning ear to ear to ear. He was just slipping it into his pocket when he sensed movement behind him. He turned… goddamn. 

Karen was walking toward him. Hair messy from sleep, skin glowing in the light from the windows, eyes soft. She was wearing his shirt. The same one she’d peeled off of him last night. It hit her at the tops of her thighs. The sleeves were too long and only her fingertips poked out the ends. She was completely bare underneath. He knew it. 

Frank set down the spatula with a clatter. Abandoned the kitchen. He barely took a beat to whisper good morning before his mouth took hers in a kiss that just might have been a bit too demanding for first thing in the morning, but he couldn’t help it. She was all mussed up from last night. She was wearing his clothes… It did something to him. She called out to a possessive part of him. An admittedly aggressive part. Part he wasn’t sure he wanted her to see, but was hard to hide when she caught him off guard like this. She had so much power over him, she had no idea. 

_ Cool off. _

He needed to chill out. Frank made a little grunt in the back of his throat as he pulled away from the kiss. He looked down at her, making tight fists in the shirt she wore.

“Finders keepers, huh?” He joked, nodding down to his shirt that was looking so damn good on her. 

She bit her lip. “Those are the rules.”

“I’m good with that.” 

“And I’m good with a No Shirts Allowed policy for you.” She grinned.

Frank laughed, feeling his ears turn red and his chest fill up. He kissed her again before forcing himself to turn back to the food he had on the stove.  _ Hell. _ He was really goddamn close to letting their breakfast burn and taking her back to bed. 

Karen eased herself up onto the counter, the same way she’d done the last time she watched him cook. Only this time she wasn’t trying to hide the way she let her eyes run all over him, and this time he let himself touch her whenever he wanted to instead of just thinking about it. 

Frank felt buzzed from it all. He’d thought this part of him was gone for good, but it was all muscle memory. He knew how to flirt with a girl and make her smile. He knew how to touch her and tease. He knew how to let his gaze slide over her before flickering back up to her eyes in a way that she couldn’t mistake exactly what he was thinking, in a way that made her blush.

They didn’t eat at the table. They ate right there at the counter, Karen sitting with her legs crossed, enjoying every bite of the food he made. Frank standing close, watching her, feeding her an occasional blueberry. She took each one, dragging her lips across his fingertips like he expected. What he didn’t expect was for her to bite down on the pad of his thumb. It was a light little nip, but it sent a surge of desire though him like a punch in the gut. He leaned over her, resting one hand on each side of her hips on the counter, bracketing her in. Karen didn’t make him wait. She cupped his face and kissed him and  _ how the hell was this his life? _ How did a morning as perfect as this even exist? 

Frank pulled away, wanting to make it even better. 

“I found something you’re gonna like.” He breathed against her lips.

Karen’s brows rose, curiosity piqued. “What?” 

Frank bit the inside of his cheek, not wanting to give in to the dopey grin that was trying to take over his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little item he’d found in the kitchen drawer. 

The key to the Harley. 

Karen had no idea what she was looking at at first, but then she squinted and read the Harley Davidson logo embossed on the key. Her eyes went wide. 

Frank was loving all the different sounds he was finding creative ways to get Karen to make, but this squeal of delight- his name mixed with laughter mixed with a sigh… it was damn near close to being the best one yet. 

They got dressed without wasting too much more time fooling around, though Karen booed when he put a shirt on, which had him grinning and biting his cheek again. The way she was making him feel, giving him no doubts about her attraction to him… It was going to bring out the King Kong inside him real fast if she wasn’t careful. He shook his head, still smirking. 

Frank was ready before Karen and headed out to the shed hoping like hell the motorcycle actually worked. He ran his hands over the bike like it was a prize racehorse or a beautiful woman. It was both. He felt at home the moment he sat in the seat. He pushed the key in the ignition.  _ Come on, Baby. _ He turned it.

There was a split second of waiting before she roared to life. Popping and crackling and purring just right.  _ Attagirl. _ Frank walked her backwards out of the shed and circled around to the driveway right as Karen exited the cabin. Frank saw her like she was in slow motion. She was wearing a soft sweater and jeans. So fucking sexy without even trying. Frank knew Karen was beautiful, but every once in a while he was really struck by it, like he was seeing her from outside his own experience with her. 

Karen was the kind of beautiful that turned heads on the street. She was the kind of beautiful that made men want pictures. All kinds of pictures, as many as possible. Her beauty was one of the things he'd never let himself think about. It had bothered him at first, being attracted to this woman who was trying to help him, this fearless blonde bombshell who was just trying to do the right thing. As their friendship grew so did his awareness of her, and then he was bothered for other reasons. It felt too soon to be so attracted to another woman when he still dreamed of Maria every night. It felt wrong to be so attracted to Karen when he was beginning to suspect she might feel the same way for him… and she might do something stupid, like throw away her own well being for his sake. Hell, Karen’s beauty, both inside and out, had been a problem for Frank since day one. 

But now here they were. She was sauntering over to him with sparkling eyes, and it wasn’t a problem anymore. It was good. It was a prize he knew he didn’t deserve, but was taking anyway. Frank swallowed as Karen came to a stop alongside the bike, grinning and excited and so goddamn gorgeous he felt a little tongue tied. 

There was only one helmet and Frank handed it to Karen. She put it on and leaned on Frank’s shoulders to steady herself as she climbed onto the back of the bike. Karen’s arms wrapped around his middle, she didn’t leave any space between them, fully nestled against his back. He loved it. 

The way down the drive from the cabin was slow going. The road was little more than a trail with sharp twists and turns and frequent tree roots and bumps. Karen was clearly comfortable on the back of the bike. She let him steer and leaned with him whenever he shifted his weight. When they got to the highway, they stalled a while, watching for any oncoming traffic. There wasn’t a car in sight. Frank pulled onto the highway, excited to pick up a little speed. 

The bike was too loud for them to really talk, but he definitely heard Karen’s excited  _ whooop _ as when they got to a straight stretch of road and he throttled down. The bike roared. Karen laughed and held on tighter. Frank was laughing too, knowing she was loving this, feeling the way she clung to him and trusted him. 

The scenery was unreal. Frank had never biked through wooded mountains before. The whole world was lush and alive. Every so often there would be a break in the trees and he and Karen would be treated to staggering views of the valley below, perfect and wild and somehow untouched by civilization even though New York City was just a few hours away. Karen’s hands caressed him lightly as she held on. It was sweet. Frank felt her kiss the side of his neck. He reached back and gave her knee a squeeze. 

Karen pointed ahead. There was a sign for a scenic overlook. Frank nodded and took the exit, soon pulling over near the edge of a rocky cliff. Frank killed the bike and the sudden silence was unbelievable. They were really in the middle of nowhere. Karen hopped off the bike, taking off the helmet and shaking out her hair with a contented sigh. Frank tried not to stare too hard and the sight.

They walked over to the ledge. There was no barrier or fence or anything to stop someone from walking right off the cliff. This was the exact kind of place that would have had him sweating bullets if he brought his kids here. They were old enough to know better than to get too close, but Frank would have been totally overly cautious. Forbidding them within 30 feet of the edge, or even worse, making them hold his hand. Frankie would have refused, but Lisa might have indulged him. Maria would have been rolling her eyes at him, grinning and telling him to relax. Frank felt the internal kick to his ribs that always came with these thoughts. Karen must have been able to read some of the pain on his face, because she took his hand and squeezed, but didn’t ask him what was wrong. 

She led them over to a soft patch of grass, near enough to the edge to give them a good view, but far enough that it helped him relax. They sat. Frank leaned back onto his elbow and watched Karen. She sat up tall, eyes closed, letting the wind whip her hair all around. 

After a while Karen turned to him, her voice soft. “Would you mind if I asked you about something?” 

Her eyes flickered over his face. He tipped his chin at her.  _ Ask. _

“Agent Madani filled me in on most of what happened with Billy Russo.” Karen’s eyes were searching him, hoping she wasn’t crossing a line. As if she could. “But will you tell me about the girl? About Amy?” 

The sound of Amy’s name made Frank wince a little. He never let himself think about the kid, it was too hard. It hurt. But this was Karen asking… if there was anyone in the world who he wanted to explain it all to, it was her. 

Karen was looking down at him, a little frown in her brow, worried. Frank nodded at her to reassure. She could ask him anything. 

He picked at his fingers for a minute, not really knowing where or how to start, but eventually he rolled into the story of how he met the kid, this young girl who would have been about the same age as his Lisa. How she’d been so far over her head in shit she didn’t know which way was up. How he'd made it his mission to keep her safe on instinct, before he’d even learned her name. How she drove him absolutely nuts. How clever and annoying and brave and insane she was. 

Karen listened intently to his voice, but didn’t stare at him. She looked out at the view or up at the clouds. It easier for him to keep talking. She knew. She was doing it on purpose. 

He let the story unfold and tried to explain the avalanche of it all, how he and everyone else had been on a runaway train of shit circumstances and evil assholes who needed to be put down. He was glad for the chance to get to tell Karen about Curt. Especially because Curt already knew all about her. 

Frank glanced over the part in the story where he, Madani, and the kid escaped from the hospital after Karen pulled the fire alarm for him. He didn’t want to relive those moments. He didn’t want to remember the things he’d said, the way he hurt her, the look on her face. 

He didn’t go into the gory details of how it all ended, but he didn’t hide anything either. Karen knew who he was, how he handled things.

Karen was nodding along, her expressions mirroring all her emotions while she kept her gaze out on the mountains. She was right there, on the journey with him, feeling it all. 

Frank explained about his friend from the corps in Florida. He took his time talking about Amy, about setting her up with that diving school and putting her on a bus headed far away.

Remembering saying goodbye to Amy made him ache. 

“So, you haven’t been in touch… at all?” She asked. 

Frank shook his head. No way. No fucking way would he bring any of his shit in Amy’s direction. He’d never reach out to her. No matter how much he wished he could.

“My buddy down there, he sends word every once in a while. She’s doing ok.”

Karen nodded. He could feel her thoughts whirring. There were a hundred things she could have said, but none of them were necessary. She knew him well enough to know that talking about Amy hurt him. That he missed the kid. That in the back of his mind he was always worried about her. She didn’t need to say it, they both knew she knew. She just nodded. 

“So, you met in a bar, huh? How did she even get in? She looks so young.”

“It was a small place. Bouncer didn’t give a shit, but the bartender wouldn’t serve her anything stronger than a soda.” Frank snorted. “Kid thinks she can talk her way in and out of anything, but she wasn’t fooling anyone.” 

Frank rolled his eyes, remembering. “The first time I saw her, I just thought she was some little shit, trying to act tough, trying to piss off her parents. But the next night she came back, I could tell she was in real trouble. I could feel it. Then shit hit the fan.” 

Frank shook his head remembering. That night changed everything.

Karen tilted her head, eyes alive with curiosity. “Same bar two nights in a row, huh? Was Pete Castiglione becoming a regular somewhere?”

Beth flashed through his mind. Frank felt a trickle of sweat run down his back and didn’t want to analyze it. If there was ever a time to tell Karen about Beth it was now, but- why would he? She didn’t want to hear about that… right?

“He wasn’t exactly a regular, but the bar had a good band.” He deflected. 

Karen smiled at him, satisfied with his answer, but Frank felt off center. Like the small omission was a lie. Really though, why go into it? 

Frank didn’t feel guilty for that night. He’d never forgive himself for Beth getting hurt in the firefight afterwards, but when it came to the night they spent together- Frank was grateful for it. He’d needed it. Needed something to make him feel human. Beth was a good person. He respected her. Later on, there were pangs of guilt when he thought about Maria, but he’d already told himself a hundred times- that was natural. It was something he’d wrestle with forever. Why the hell was the thought of telling Karen about Beth making him so nervous? Karen always understood. Everything.

“Uh. Actually, it was more than a good band. They had a good bartender, too.” Frank looked up at Karen, wanting her to understand without actually having to say it.

“Oh yeah?” She smiled.

“Yeah. Beth. She was a good woman.” He watched her absorb it.

Karen’s smile changed subtly, she understood. “Oh.” 

Frank froze, on edge. 

“How long did you know each other?” She asked.

Frank almost sagged with relief. Her voice sounded normal.  _ Good. _

“A couple of days.” He said, watching Karen turn her attention back to the scenic view. 

“Did you…” She paused. “... Was it…?” 

Frank knew what she was trying to ask.  _ Did you sleep together? Was it romantic? _ Karen was having a hard time completing the questions. He understood. It was a little awkward.

“Yeah.” He answered Karen’s broken questions, almost smiling. Communicating without words was their thing. It was one of the things he loved most about being with her. 

Karen glanced at his smile, then faced forward nodding at the mountains. “How did you feel about her?”

Frank leaned further back onto his elbow, surprised by the question. Karen really was all heart, asking such a sweet question. He thought for a stretch before answering. 

“I cared about her. Respected her.” He nodded to himself, remembering. “She played music. Had a little boy.” 

Karen’s eyes darted in his direction again, scanning his face before turning back into the wind. 

“So, what happened?”

“She got hurt when shit went down with the kid.” Frank flinched at the memory. “I had to drop her at the hospital and take off. Amy needed my help.”

Karen nodded again.

“I’m sorry.” She said, quiet.

“Not as sorry as Amy. She had to pull a bullet out of my ass.” 

Frank smirked at the memory and looked to Karen, expecting to see her glittering eyes, to see her laughing at him. But she wasn’t laughing. She was staring off at the horizon.

Frank studied her, and the longer he looked, the colder he felt. Karen’s face was unreadable. Frank’s stomach sank. Something wasn’t right.

He pressed up off his elbow so he was sitting at her level. She didn’t turn to him, kept staring straight ahead. He watched her profile. Her cheeks had lost all their color, her lips were pale. Frank felt the beginnings of dread bubbling up in his stomach. What happened? What had he said? What had he done? Karen was not ok.

He’d miscalculated this conversation.  _ Fucking idiot. _ He must have said something wrong, hurt her feelings. Shit. What the hell had he said? She couldn’t be that mad about Beth, right? She had to understand. Karen  _ always understood.  _ He hadn’t done anything wrong. 

The dread in his gut was starting to feel icy. His mind raced. He and Karen had had a connection from day one, but it’s not like they’d been waiting around for… 

_ No way. _ Smart, gorgeous, sweet Karen? She could have anyone… 

Frank’s mouth went dry. He tried to swallow. Almost choked. 

“Karen, have you… been seeing anyone?” He felt like such a moron for even asking. 

Now he got that laugh he’d been waiting for, but it was awful. It burst from Karen’s lips in an unhappy little breath. She still wasn’t looking at him.

“Have I seen anyone? Nope.” She murmured. It was hard to tell if she was talking to him or to herself. “In the last several years the men in my life have either tried to kill me, or died, or chose someone else, or told me to go away. Or all of the above.”

She exhaled that false little laugh again, “Except Foggy.”

… Shit. 

Frank was the ‘all of the above’.  _ He  _ was. And she'd waited for him. It felt like someone reached inside his chest and made a fist. What the hell could he even say? He wished he could rewind this entire conversation and start over. His palms were sweating. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. 

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was apologizing for, but hoped it covered a hundred things. He had no idea what to say to make this better. She should slap him. Call him every name she can think of. 

Instead, she shook her head, finally turning to look at him with watery eyes. 

“No.  _ No. _ You have nothing to apologize for.” 

_...what? _

His face must have looked his confusion, because Karen finally reached out and touched him. Her hand took his and her fingers were like ice. He grabbed on, fidgeting, trying to massage some heat back into her. She squeezed his fingers to still him. 

“Really. You don’t need to apologize. Thank you for telling me.” She raked the fingers of her free hand back through her hair. “I just have a lot going on in my head right now. OK?”

Frank was wary, but wanted to believe her. “Ok.”

“Ok.” She gave him a little pained smile. “Lets head back.”

Frank nodded and stood slowly, offering his hand to help her up. She took it to stand, but pulled back quickly and put on her helmet. 

Any hopes Frank had that maybe he was making a bigger deal out of this in his head than it actually was were smashed once they were back on the motorcycle. The difference between their ride to the cliff and their ride home was glaring and screeching and stabbing at him. On the way out, Karen clung to him, she hadn’t allowed an inch of space between them wherever their bodies could touch. She kissed and caressed him. She laughed in his ear. Now, Karen barely touched him. She sat up straight, leaning away from his body. Her hands had a loose hold on his hips. So loose he almost wanted to tell her it wasn’t safe, that she needed to hold on tighter. But the thought of asking for her touch when she didn’t want to give it was too terrible. He just drove a little slower. 

The entire ride back Frank felt a brick growing in his stomach. Karen didn’t want to be mad at him, she didn’t want to be hurt- but she was. He’d seen it in her eyes, the way she was fighting with herself.

He was running their conversation over in his head, picking apart all the things he should have said differently. He was still processing what he’d learned. That this entire time- he was the only one she wanted… Frank’s skin crawled, remembering every time he’d mentioned Murdock’s name to her. The way she’d looked at him in those moments. Fucking idiot. 

When he pulled up in front of the cabin Karen got off the bike hastily and headed inside. Frank had to stop himself from chasing her. He needed to give her some space. He lingered on the bike for a minute or two before heading in. 

Karen was so quiet. She stood in front of the wall of windows, facing out. The same way she’d been last night before she’d turned to him and called his name and they finally came together the way they’d been wanting and needing to for so long.

Frank felt that same need now. 

They were back in their cabin. This was a special place where everything was perfect, right? This was the magical room where nothing could hurt them? But no, of course it wasn’t the cabin that was magic. It was Karen. And he broke the spell.

It took everything inside him not to crowd her. He wanted to kiss her and make her forget. He wanted to touch her and please her and to erase everything from her mind other than him and how good he made her feel. He could make it better… he could make it right. Maybe if he could just-

She turned.

She gave him a smile, but he knew it wasn’t real. He’d memorized her face. Frank knew all her smiles. This was a pale imitation. The brick in his stomach sank lower.

“I’m a little cold. I’m going to take a shower.” 

Frank nodded and watched, helpless, as she hurried to the bathroom and shut the door. 

_ Hell. _ Maria pulled that move too every now and then when he upset her. The shower was where she’d go to think. It was code for ‘Leave me alone, I can’t deal with you right now’.

He stared blankly into the empty fireplace for a while before walking over and flicking it on. Karen said she was cold. He’d get the room nice and warm by the time she came out. Then again, she might not have been cold at all… it may just have been an excuse to get away from him. 

Shit.

Frank sank down into the big leather chair and leaned his elbows on his knees. He knew it wasn’t just him telling her about one night with another woman that made Karen react this way. It was something else… or a combination of other things that he couldn't see. He had no idea what was going on in her head right now and he hated it. 

He understood being a little upset. After last night, so perfect and game changing and  _ right _ \- he wouldn’t really have wanted to hear about some other guy, but it wouldn’t have been the end of the world. 

Frank sighed, dropping his head into his hands. Maybe it mattered more to Karen because this fed into the larger pattern between them. How Karen was so much more open with how she felt, more willing, so loyal and sweet and good… And Frank was the one who hid, who withheld, who left. 

Frank made fists in his hair, not wanting to think about all this. He didn’t want to think about how he’d let her down. How he’d chosen other things. Other people. Because they hadn’t been choices. Not really. 

Even after driving around the country pretending to be Pete, facing off with himself in the mirror every night, knowing that he’d never get over Maria but he was still alive and human and had needs… that didn’t make Karen an option. Frank kept Karen in a whole other category of existence from him and the rest of this shit world. How could he possibly explain it to her? How could he describe the place Karen had in his soul? So important and powerful that he could barely understand it, could barely deal with it. He’d set her apart. He hadn’t allowed himself to even imagine being with her. Touching that thought was like touching flame. His life didn’t involve options like that. It wasn’t like he chose Beth over Karen.  _ Christ. _ He never thought he’d see Karen again, he’d been trying to make sure of it. 

Because of how much she meant to him. 

God, didn’t Karen know how he felt about her? From the moment they met, she’d been precious to him- he couldn’t explain it. Through the haze of hate and rage she shined like the only star in a black sky. Of course he left. Of course he stayed away. What the hell else was he supposed to do? He didn’t want any of his shit touching her. She was too important. 

Didn’t she see? How she was basically the center of his universe? How over these insane years, she’s been the one thing to pull him back out when he was spiralling down into the dark? Every time. Every damn time he saw Karen Page was like being hit with a defibrillator. BOOM. And she was bringing him back to life. 

She was everything.

Frank heard the bathroom door open. His head jolted up from where he’d been gripping it with both hands. She was wrapped in a towel. Her fingers raked her wet blonde tresses to the side as she pinned him with her stare. Her face was soft. Her eyes warm. It wasn’t what he expected.

_ Karen…  _

She was like an angel walking to him. Frank froze, not sure what was happening or what was safe or what was allowed. She stepped right up to him as he sat there, looking up at her, totally at her mercy. She touched his jaw in that way that always made everything better.

“Hey.” She said, and her voice was sweet.

Frank just blinked at her. 

The glitter was back in her eyes. Karen propped one knee up on the chair alongside his thigh, then the other. Frank’s pulse wooshed through his veins as he leaned back to make room for her, his hands automatically moving to her hips to steady her as she straddled him. She smiled. A real smile. Soft and small. 

Frank felt punchdrunk. 

Before he knew what was happening, Karen was kissing him. Sitting on his lap, she was taller than him. She made fists in his hair and angled his face up to hers and kissed him with a hunger and a possession that melted his brain. The kiss was slow and powerful and overwhelming. And Frank just let her lead, still wary of making a wrong move, as his entire body lit up, grateful for her touch, wanting more. 

Before he was ready for it to be over, she pulled back. Karen kept her fingers in his hair, studying his face. He wondered what she saw.

“Frank, I want you to know that… if I could change your entire life, I would.”

He had no idea what she was talking about, but she looked so sincere. He didn’t interrupt. 

“If I could go back in time and save you, save your entire family, I would do it in a second.” 

She was tracing his jaw again, watching her fingers move on his skin. 

“I wish I could go back and take away every terrible thing. Even if it meant we’d never meet. Even if it meant I’d die in that bomb with Lewis Wilson, or any of the other times it almost happened.”

Frank frowned, shaking his head.  _ Don't ever say that.  _ What did she- but Karen stilled him and continued.

“What I’m trying to say is, I would go back and change so many things if I could. I’d make sure nothing bad ever happened to you. Or to Amy. Or if you wanted, I’d make sure your bartender never got hurt so you wouldn’t have had to leave.”

_ What? No. Karen-  _

“I’d change a thousand things. But we can’t change the past.” Karen’s eyes flickered back up to his, and they were raw and honest. “We’re here now. Together. After _everything._ And I’m so glad. Frank, I…” 

She trailed off, seeming overwhelmed, unsure of how to land her thought.

Frank was overwhelmed too, absorbing the beauty and tragedy of everything she’d just said. She wanted to take away his pain the same way he wished he could take away hers. They’d fought their way through hell and ended up here, together. This was where they both wanted to be. 

_ Yes. _

Frank lunged at her, taking her by surprise. Karen gasped, but was clinging to him a second later. Their kiss was desperate, sloppy, a little unhinged. Frank’s hands were grabbing hold of Karen everywhere he could reach. The only thing separating him from her sweet smelling skin was her towel, and awareness of that fact was obliterating his self control. Frank couldn’t stop himself. He broke their kiss and looked up into her eyes. Her pupils were blown out, her lips swollen, her breath shivering. They were in sync, connected in that perfect way of theirs. She wanted what he wanted. 

He pulled at her towel and it fell away. Suddenly, Karen was naked in his lap, beautiful and perfect. Frank groaned at the sight before taking one of her breasts into his mouth.  _ Fuck. _ Her skin tasted so fresh and clean from her shower. She smelled so goddamn good. He couldn’t get enough. Back and forth from one breast to the other, Frank kissed and licked and took her nipples lightly between his teeth as she writhed in his lap, making him hotter and hotter. He was so fucking hard for her already. His gorgeous, naked girl. Karen was moaning and hissing his name, tangling her fingers in his hair. 

Then her hands were between them, she was working to get his pants undone. Whatever was left of Frank’s brainpower was fried at this point. He clocked out. His body operated on pure instinct. He growled at having to take a break from worshiping Karen’s breasts, and helped her with his pants. Frank pulled himself out. He was throbbing. Everything in his mind roaring _ now now Now NOW. _ Karen hadn’t even gotten his jeans halfway down his thighs before he lifted her, lined them up, and pulled her back down onto him. The moment he was inside her Frank almost shouted with relief, and he heard Karen’s echoing moan like music in his ears. 

_ God.  _ This is what he needed. To make sure they were ok, that he hadn’t fucked everything up, that she still wanted him as much as he wanted her. Being inside her was the only thing that mattered. 

Jesus.  _ NO- hang on. _

Frank locked up. Suddenly realizing how fast this was all going and how they’d been talking about something important. He needed to make sure that he and Karen were actually all good. Karen started to grind in his lap, but he held her still, burying his face in her neck and breathing deep.

When he had himself a little centered Frank looked up at Karen. Everything in her eyes said she was with him, she was ok, but he needed to make sure.

“Karen, I’m sorry… I -” Frank struggled for the right way to say it… how the hell do you tell someone that you’d been running from them because they mean absolutely everything to you?

“No. Frank-  _ really.” _ Karen cut him off. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. I felt jealous, I guess- but I’m glad you had someone you cared about so much...”

Frank felt like he was going to lose his mind. He was being ripped apart by how goddamn good and _perfect_ it felt to be inside Karen, and how fucking wrong it felt to be talking about Beth right now. Jealous? It wasn’t the same. If Karen thought Beth meant as much to him as she did- 

Karen was still talking. “... I’m glad you found someone who was so important to…”

FUCK. Enough. 

“KAREN.” His hands gripped her rib cage hard enough that she stopped talking immediately.  _ “You’re _ the one who’s important to me.  _ You are. _ Don’t you know that?” 

Karen’s eyes went wide. She didn’t respond _ … Hell, didn’t she know? _

“Do you know what you mean to me?” He said, softening his hands on her. “Do you have any goddamn idea?”

Still, she stared at him, saying nothing. His heart was twisting in his chest. 

“Tell me you know.” He whispered, touching her face, her neck, hardly knowing what else he could do- but then… 

He saw it happen in her eyes, the moment the little light turned on. The moment she believed him. 

“I know.”

Her quiet words resonated through him like a song.  YES. Finally. Frank felt a flood of euphoria throughout his entire body. 

“Tell me you know how much you mean to me.” He said, hardly recognizing the rasp of his own voice.

_ “I know.” _ Karen moaned, suddenly making him aware of the fact that he’d started thrusting again, driving up into her as deep as he could. 

Frank was panting, pressing his face into her chest.

“You’re everything. Tell me you know.”

She did. 

Frank groaned as he kissed her breasts. “Tell me again.”

_ “YesFrank- I know.”  _

She did. She knew. He could tell she knew. For real. They were in this together.

_ Goddamn. _ Frank’s pulse was slamming through his body, his skin was sizzling against Karen’s everywhere they touched. He held her even tight as he began bucking harder, and Karen was giving it right back, her body welcoming him, rolling for him, bending for him, every response so attuned. He loved her so much. 

“Tell me you know how much I love you.” It was out of his mouth before he had a chance to think. He hadn’t planned on saying it, but instantly knew he didn’t regret it. It was true. 

Karen’s gasp caught in her throat. She stared at him, eyes welling up.

Frank repeated himself. He was staring into her soul, trying to make believe by the sheer force of his will.

“Tell me you know.” He kissed her cheek. “Please…”

Karen’s hands were clinging to his back, her nails digging little red marks into his skin, but now they floated up to his face. She touched his jaw and the whole world quieted down. 

“I know how much you love me, Frank.” She whispered, a few tears spilling over onto her cheeks. “It's how much I love you.”

Zero gravity. Weightless and floating. Filled with light. 

If he had to describe the way Karen’s words made him feel… it would be something like that. And it wouldn’t be nearly enough. Frank couldn’t speak. Thoughts shattered.

The first thing he knew for sure was that this chair was no longer where he needed to be. Frank locked Karen against him with an arm around her waist, but he didn’t stand and take her to bed. That was too far. He sank to his knees and laid her down on the lambskin rug in front of the fire. And perhaps the perfect response to a beautiful angel telling you she loved you wasn’t pinning her down and fucking her on the living room floor… but Frank was about as far from perfect as a man could get.

He covered her body with his. He let his hand float up to her throat, just wanting to feel her heartbeat, wanting to know she was his.

“Say it again.” 

She smiled. “I love you.”

He thrust inside.  _ God. _ So good.

“Say it again.”

_ “I love you.”  _

“Again.”

She did. 

_ “Again." _

Karen repeated it over and over as it wrecked him. He was a mess, he was undone. He was spending himself, holding nothing back. Karen was wrapped around him, completely tangled. Frank palmed the back of her head, protecting her as he pounded her into the floor. He had no idea what he was saying anymore, it was some mixture of worship and filth. 

Frank could feel himself nearing the end. And he was desperate to bring Karen with him. He shifted, holding himself up on his forearms, and started giving it to her faster. Karen cried out, her face strained with pleasure.  _ Sweetheart. _ Frank didn’t let up, he pressed the pedal through the floor. Karen started to stiffen up, her eyes flew open and locked on his. Frank couldn’t form words. He just nodded at her. _ Come for me Come for me COME. Christ-  _

She snapped. Beautiful.

Frank’s orgasm ripped through him. Pretty sure he’d ever come that hard in his life. 

_ Shit. _ He was winded. He could barely breathe. Luckily for him, Karen was there, and her kiss was the breath of life. 

  
  


:::

  
  


Karen was in shimmering. Sparkling. The fire kept her warm despite the sweat on her skin cooling. She was shivering, but that had less to do with the temperature and more to do with the man beside her. 

Her eyes fluttered open and she wanted to laugh. Here she was, spread out on this plush rug, completely naked, while Frank was still fully dressed. His pants were unzipped and a little tugged down his thighs… but his boots were still on. He was probably still armed. It was ridiculous. It was hot. She wasn’t quite sure why, but something about being naked for him while he was fully clothed made him seem  _ in charge _ in a way that gave her tingles all over.

Karen plucked at his shirt, grinning and biting her lip. Frank looked down and seemed to notice the contrast in their state of attire for the first time. He smiled and shook his head, eyes flickering back to hers with humor. 

“I’m underdressed.” 

Frank shook his head. “You’re perfect.”

He kissed her shoulder, her neck. Karen laughed. Rolling her eyes at him to say ‘ _ Men’. _

He grinned again and rolled off of her, taking a second to fix his pants before standing and offering her a hand up. As soon as they were both standing she felt more naked than she’d ever felt in her life. She gave Frank a little peck, grabbed her towel and scampered back to the bathroom before he could continue his unashamed staring. 

With the door shut, Karen allowed herself to gape at her own reflection in the mirror like a lunatic.  _ Holy shit. _

Talk about whiplash. 

In the last hour Karen had felt just about every emotion a human woman was capable of feeling. Each one, dialed all the way up. Right now she was staring at herself in the mirror, and her hair was all sex-messed and her skin was still blushing and splotchy, and she was grinning at herself like a loon. How the hell was it only 30 minutes ago that she was right here in this little bathroom crying in the shower? 

Karen closed her eyes, transported back. 

She'd fled to the bathroom and turned on the shower because she didn’t want Frank to hear her cry. God, she’d been furious with herself. She hung her head under the warm spray of water. What the hell was wrong with her? It wasn’t like Frank cheated on her or something.  _ Get your shit together, woman. _ She leaned against the shower wall, trying to will her emotions back under control. 

The worst part was, she knew why she was feeling this way. It wasn’t some big mystery. But knowing didn’t make it hurt less, didn’t make it easier to deal with. 

Frank was just trying to be honest, but he’d struck a nerve. The moment he mentioned the bartender, Beth, the good woman- Karen felt ice pierce right into the warm center of happiness and certainty that had blossomed inside her last night. It was a slam in her chest, and all of a sudden it felt like she was back in Matt’s apartment finding another woman in his bed, wearing his clothes. She’d felt like such a fool with Matt, having let herself believe that the connection between them was so strong when really, he was connected to someone else. She felt like an idiot. And a loser. 

With Frank, she tried so hard to not read too far into things, to not let her hopes build up too high. She'd known he wasn’t ready, and there were complications, and long periods of radio silence, and dead ends. But somehow Frank had gotten past all her defenses. What she felt for him was ten times stronger than what she’d ever felt for Matt. She’d tried to keep her head on straight, but she got swept up in it. She told herself she wasn’t waiting for him, but she was. She told herself not to expect anything from him, but she did. And after last night she’d felt so sure… 

But the moment he said another woman’s name- so easy, _f_ _ ond,  _ smiling as he spoke- it hit Karen like a slap. 

She’d let herself get carried away. Again. She’d let herself believe the pull she felt was special, that it meant as much to him as it did to her. But she’d been wrong. Again. She put a man and a connection up on a pedestal, when to him, she was second choice, or third, really. A back up. 

All these thoughts were racing through her mind in the shower as the water circled the drain along with her confidence. 

She wished he’d never told her. Karen tilted her face up into the spray and let the warm water wash her face. She wished she could go back to that cliff and this time she’d just sit and enjoy the view, she wouldn’t ask any questions, she’d just allow herself to be happy. 

No, if she could go back in time- she’d go back and find Frank while he was driving around the midwest pretending to be Pete. Maybe if she had found him he wouldn't have even met...

_NO._ That’s not what she really wanted… If Karen could go back in time, Frank wouldn’t have ever met Beth, but not because Karen would have stood in his way. He wouldn’t have met her because Karen would have gone all the way back to before everything went wrong for him, and fixed it. She’d go back far enough to save him, to save his whole family. She’d go back far enough to make sure he had the life she wished he would have had, the life he deserved.

Karen turned her face away from the water, something finally uncoiling in her chest. 

It would mean they would never meet. But it would be worth it. There wasn’t a hint of doubt in her mind. She’d do that for him. 

Because she loved him. 

Karen pressed her forehead to the shower wall. She  _ loved _ him. So much. And she was wasting time, hiding and pouting and wishing things were different? What a joke.  _ Of course _ she wished things were different. Frank’s life was a bigger disaster than hers. Nothing was ever easy when it came to them. But somehow, despite it all, she had him _now._ Nothing else mattered. Life was too short and cruel to second guess something so good. Karen never had the option of being the only woman in his heart, but she was in there. Somehow. She didn’t really understand what Frank had with this music-playing, son-having, bartender, but she didn’t need to. They were together  _ now _ \- something she'd thought was impossible. And she was going to hold on with both hands.

Karen turned off the water and grabbed for a towel, drying off as all of this crystalized in her mind. 

She loved Frank. He was right on the other side of that door, confused as hell. She’d seen it on his face. He felt awful but had no idea what to do to make it better. God, when they’d gotten back from the motorcycle ride… he’d entered the cabin with all the confidence of a man entering a bear cave. He’d been at a loss. It wasn’t fair. That’s not what she wanted at all. 

Karen’s pulse was a swirling storm in her veins. She needed to go to him. Now. To let him know they were good. To tell him she loved him. She wanted to tell him. He needed to hear it. She didn’t take time to get dressed. 

She'd just let herself go to him, and then the whole world shifted…

Karen opened her eyes, once again staring at herself at the stunned look on her own face in the mirror. She was still reeling from it all. How she’d fumbled through trying to explain how she felt, how she’d frozen up when she tried to say I love you… how he’d said it first. Karen bit her lip. He loved her. 

She’d been watching him so closely, staring into those dark brown eyes that were so expressive, so honest- and she’d known. She saw it. He hadn’t meant to say it, but once he did… Karen got to watch him realize it was true. She got to see the amazing truth spark in his eyes. And then the way he made love to her, they way she could see him falling apart as she told him she loved him… 

It was so much more than she’d ever imagined. Beautiful and intense and so damn  _ right. _

Karen got dressed, putting on her jeans and cami from earlier, but leaving the big sweater off because the fireplace had the cabin nice and warm. She stepped out of the bathroom to find Frank, no surprise, in the kitchen. He had that hand towel draped over his shoulder again, standing there so relaxed, chopping vegetables.  _ Good Lord, _ the quiet life was such a good look on him. 

Frank looked up, smiling as she approached. His gaze caught her eyes, but almost immediately slid down over her. She hadn’t put her bra back on. Her nipples were still peaked and visible through the tight, thin fabric of her camisole and watched Frank notice. She loved the way he looked at her, the way his gaze would flicker and linger. She wasn’t trying to tease him necessarily, but his reactions were just too good. 

He shook his head slightly before locking eyes with her again. His dark brown eyes were giving her some kind of warning.  _ You better watch out, lady. _

Karen grinned. _ I ain’t scared-a you. _

He snorted and turned back to his vegetables. It looked like he was chopping up big chunks of potatoes, carrots, and onions. Karen peeked into a large bowl to see a bunch of chicken marinating in some delicious smelling sauce. Frank was a really good cook. And so fast. She could get used to this. 

Karen stepped up behind him, put her arms around his middle, and kissed the back of this neck. She felt him sigh. 

“What are you making?”

“Just some roasted chicken and vegetables.” 

“You’re a good cook.” 

His belly bounced in a laugh even though no sound came out. “Nah. This is easy.”

“I like it when you cook for me.” She laid her cheek down on his back. 

Karen felt him take a deep breath. “So do I.”

It was great to listen to his voice through his body as her ear rested between his shoulder blades. The low rumble of it was so nice. 

“What do you want for dessert?” He asked.

Karen just smiled. “You.”

His knife clattered to the countertop and he spun in her arms before she knew what was happening. Frank sunk both hands into her hair, kissing her like he wanted to devour her whole. He growled as he backed her up against the counter. 

“Christ, Karen-” His voice was a low grind as he grabbed her ass and lifted her up onto the counter so quickly she almost yelped. 

Frank was standing between her thighs, crushing her to him. Karen’s pulse was racing, loving the way he manhandled her, the way it seemed like something snapped inside him and he was barely hanging on to control. She moaned into his mouth as his hands roamed everywhere. He made fists in her little tank top, like he was about to rip it apart, when- they both froze. 

A noise. The rumble of a car engine. Unmistakable in the silence of the wilderness around the cabin. 

Frank had Karen down and crouching behind the counter before she had the chance to blink. 

“Stay here.” He was breathing heavy, eyes wild. 

He pulled a small handgun from his boot and scrambled over to his duffel bag near the couch, pulling out some sort of assault weapon. Karen’s eyes popped.  _ Where the hell did he get stuff like that? _ No time to think about that now. She stayed low and ran over to her bedside table, grabbing her .380. 

Frank was crouched by the back door peering out the window but turned and glared at her when he heard her hurrying toward him. 

“Stay back!”

“Hell no.” She hissed at him. 

Karen pressed her back to the wall, crouching just like he was on the opposite side of the door. 

Frank was fuming. She didn’t let him intimidate her. “It might be Trish, or a friend-”

“Or it might not!” He bit out.

She didn’t get a chance to bite back because suddenly the rumbling car that they could hear getting closer and closer started blasting its horn. Over and over. Obnoxiously. Karen’s face broke into a grin. She only knew one person who would announce themselves like that.

Karen stood and bolted out the door, ignoring Frank’s horrified  _ KAREN! _

Jessica Jones’ little car skidded to a halt in the driveway as Karen raced down the stairs tucking her gun into the back of her jeans. The driver’s side door swung open and Jess stepped out, her eyes gleaming. 

“Jess!” Karen tackled her in a hug. 

She probably would have bowled her over if Jess wasn’t so insanely strong. Jess hugged her back, lifting her a few inches off the ground without meaning to. 

“Hey Blondie.”

Karen was crying, a hot, giggling, mess. She was so happy to see Jess that she could hardly form coherent thoughts. Even with the amazing distraction of having Frank at the cabin for the last couple of days, her fear had never left the back of her mind. The roiling dread that her friends were in danger and it was all her fault never eased in the pit of her stomach. But now, she at least knew that Jess was alive and well.

Karen was still wiping her eyes, staring at Jess, speechless when the passenger side door opened.  _ Matt.  _ Karen was around the car and in his arms within seconds. 

Matt was here. Matt was ok. 

“Thank God.” She sniffled into his neck.

Matt held her tight. Karen leaned away from him and looked into the back seat of Jess’s car. Empty. No one else had come…

“Is- is everyone…?”

Karen’s throat started to close up. Tears were running down her face, she wasn’t even bothering to wipe them away, she was too desperate for answers. 

“Everyone’s fine, Karen.” Matt hurried to answer her unfinished question, nodding quickly. 

_ Jesus _ . She fell into Matt’s arms again, weak with relief. 

“Thank _ God.” _ She said again, her voice was wobbly with tears. 

Karen’s legs felt like jello as she pulled away from Matt again, looking him over. It was a familiar sight. Little cuts and bruises behind his sunglasses. Effortlessly handsome as ever. She turned back to scan Jess who looked unscathed, though her eyes were a little glassy as she smiled back at Karen. 

Frank watched the greetings from the porch with a gun in each hand, but now he set them aside. He approached slowly, like he didn’t want to intrude. _Oh,_ _ Frank. _ Karen stepped away from Matt and reached for Frank. He took her hand, stepping in close to her. His face was guarded. No one else would have noticed, but Karen could tell, it was almost like he was a little shy now that they had company.

Karen smiled at him, weepy and happy and overwhelmed. “Everyone’s ok.”

Frank squeezed her fingers. He didn't say anything out loud, but his eyes told her he was glad. 

“Frank, this is Jessica Jones.” Karen gestured to Jess who was watching the two of them with a knowing smirk. 

Frank looked to Jess and nodded. “Ma’am.”

Jess stood up straight and gave him a mocking little salute. Karen rolled her eyes. 

“Jess, don’t be a brat.” 

Jess raised her brows. “What? I didn’t- Hey! Did you guys ride my bike?”

Jess breezed past them toward the motorcycle that was still parked right in front of the cabin. Karen followed excitedly. 

“Yes! This is yours? Frank took me for a ride today-  _ she’s amazing.” _

“Hell yeah, she is.” Jess agreed. 

The two women grinned at each other happily before Jess turned back to the bike running her hands over it. Behind her, Karen heard the guys greeting each other, blunt as usual. Frank’s low voice murmured _ Red _ , and Matt returned a  _ Frank _ . She didn’t turn to see firm handshake she was sure was in progress between the two men, because Jess was cracking her up. She’d picked up the motorcycle like it was an oversized puppy, hugging it and swaying. 

“Hey girl, I missed you.” Jess said to the bike, in the most sing-song voice Karen had ever heard come out of Jess’s sarcastic mouth. 

Karen turned in time to catch Frank’s expression. His eyes were wide, mouth ajar, his nose a little scrunched on one side like he was about to call bullshit on what he was seeing… but couldn’t because it was happening _ right there.  _ The look on his face was so perfect. Karen burst out laughing. 

“It's crazy, right?” Karen called to him, tilting her head at Jess who was gingerly setting the 400 pound bike back on the ground like it was made of fine china. 

Jess looked to Frank. “You got her out on the open road, huh?”

Her question snapped him out of his daze. He eyed Jess somewhat warily. “Yeah.”

Jess grinned. “How’s she running?”

That got him to smile a bit. Finally. He ran his hand over the back of his neck. 

“She purrs. Runs perfect.”

Jess looked pleased. Karen felt like she was floating. She was standing here in this beautiful place with Frank and Jess and Matt and everyone was smiling and no one was dead. It was amazing… 

A gust of cold wind burst through their little clearing and Karen shivered. Everyone else had layers on, but she was just in her thin cami. Frank frowned, reaching for her and running his palms over the goosebumps on her arms. 

“We should get you inside.” He said. 

“Yeah Blondie, put some clothes on.” Jess teased. “We’ll be in in a sec.”

Jess and Matt headed back to Jess’s car while Frank followed Karen into the cabin. She shivered again once they got inside and grabbed Frank’s hoodie from the back of the couch, throwing it on and wrapping it around her. It was big and warm and her fingertips barely reached the end of the sleeves. She glanced at Frank, there was something in his eyes. The way he looked at her all wrapped up in his clothes. He liked it. 

Karen smiled at him. “Finders keepers.”

Frank gave her a small smile but again said nothing as Matt and Jess entered the cabin. Karen had the feeling that Frank was going to be a man of few words until he got used to the presence of other people in their cabin. He was acting so reserved, his body a little stiff, but Karen didn’t blame him for that. Frank was used to having his guard up. And for better or worse, Karen kind of liked it that there were sides of Frank that only she got to see. It was like having a beautiful shining secret all to herself. 

Jess sighed as she looked around the cabin. 

“God, I missed this place.” 

She and Matt set their bags near the door and Jess started walking him around the cabin- describing everything he couldn’t see. It was sweet. Karen felt a little flip in her belly as she watched them. Jess’s voice was warm when she spoke to him, Matt leaned in and stayed close. Jess took him over to the wall of windows and was describing the view. They weren’t touching, but the energy between them felt intimate and lovely. 

Karen was stunned. She looked at Frank, hoping he was sensing what she was sensing. His gaze flickered away from Matt and Jess and back to her. He raised his eyebrows. Karen almost laughed.  _ He saw it too! _

Talk about an odd couple… but then again, Karen looked back at the pair of them gazing out the windows. They actually had a lot in common. Pretty much orphaned at a young age. Physical abilities that isolated them from the rest of the world. Painful memories. Heroic hearts. They could actually be so good for each other. 

Frank let out a little laugh and squeezed her elbow, making Karen whip her head back to him at the same time noticing that she had a giant maniacal grin on her face. The amused look on Frank’s face was telling her to play it cool, to not be an insane match-maker and make them self conscious. 

Oh. She winked at him.  _ Gotcha.  _

He winked back, smirking, and headed back to his happy place. The kitchen. And picked up where he’d left off, chopping more carrots. 

Now everyone else was busy and Karen was starting to get antsy. She wanted to give Matt and Jess a few more minutes of cute, flirty, whatever the hell was going on with them- but she was dying for information. The whole story. She needed to know. NOW. 

_ “OK- _ the suspense is killing me over here.”

Matt and Jess turned to see Karen with her hands on her hips, her gaze pleading with them. 

“I’m so glad that everyone is ok.  _ So _ glad. But I need to know the whole story.” She ran her hand back through her hair. “Everything. Please.”

Jess looked at Matt. He sighed.

“Of course, Karen. You deserve to know.” It almost seemed like he was looking around the cabin. “Let’s… sit.”

“Yeah. You’ll get your story, reporter lady, but first things first. Alcohol.” Jess dead panned. 

Karen huffed and turned to the kitchen where Frank was already holding out a bottle of wine for her. 

“Nope, wine won't do.” Jess called to him. “For a story like this, we need the good stuff.” 

Frank tilted his head, not knowing what Jess was getting at. Jess crossed the room over to the huge leather couch and lifted one end of it up with one hand, prying up a floorboard with the other. Karen peeked at Frank who was just as stunned as he'd been the first time he’d seen Jess’s strength on display. That couch was gigantic, almost the size of a twin bed, and rock solid. Karen was sure she couldn’t have budged the thing if she’d tried. Matt and Frank would have been able to lift it if they worked together, but to watch Jess lift the thing as easily as a bag of groceries was kind of surreal. Frank shook his head. 

“Yeah, I’m never gonna get used to that.” Frank said, in a tone that made it impossible to tell if he was talking to himself or to the room at large.

Jess was blindly grabbing at something beneath the floorboards, mumbling something that sounded like _'stole it from Trish's mom'._ She grinned as found what she'd been reaching for and pulled it out, holding it up for all to see. Karen stepped over and grabbed it. The bottle was covered in dust and it had a silver stag with big antlers. Karen didn’t know much about liquor but she could tell this must be a really nice scotch. She turned and showed it to Frank while Jess fixed the floor and set the couch back down. Frank’s eyes went wide. 

“Christ. Dalmore 25? Hell yeah.”

In a matter of a few minutes Frank had their dinner in the oven and all four of them were seated around the small dining table with tumblers full of what Karen was sure was the most expensive alcohol she’d ever drank. 

Frank was somber, staring into his glass. Karen was looking back and forth between Matt and Jess like she was at a tennis match, waiting for one of them to start talking please for the love of God.

Jess tapped her index finger to the end of her nose. “Not it.” 

Matt sighed that world weary sigh of his. “Alright.”

Matt’s story telling left a lot to be desired, but Karen knew him well enough to follow along and fill in the blanks when she could, and ask the right questions when he was being too vague. 

The minute Trish had gotten Karen into her car, Jess, Misty, and Brett started whispering in the right ears, spreading the story around town that Karen Page hadn’t really died in that car accident. It had been a set up. A ruse, so she could hide from Wilson Fisk and the few cronies he still had operating on the outside. They knew Poindexter would catch wind of it. He’d been just as obsessed with Wilson Fisk as he’d been with Karen. Any rumor involving Fisk would end up on his radar. 

Then, Foggy started letting himself be seen around town, driving and ducking into buildings with a woman in a pencil skirt who kept her face covered but foolishly never hid her long blonde hair. Obviously Trish. Karen narrowed her eyes. Matt trailed off and glanced at Jess… clearly nervous about revealing this portion of the plan, knowing Karen would be angry they used Trish as bait. Karen rolled her eyes at the both of them, knowing Matt could probably hear her heart rate rising. She’d already figured out about Trish, but she was furious to know Foggy had been involved. Trish had freaking superpowers- Foggy could have been  _ killed.  _ Karen was fuming, but didn’t interrupt. She knew if she lost her temper she’d never get the full story. She took a larger than normal sip of scotch and savored the burn of it in her throat. 

When he realized Karen wasn’t going to fight, Matt pushed ahead in the story with an air of having dodged a bullet.

He explained how they’d laid a trap for Poindexter at an airplane hangar owned by to Danny Rand. The story had been that Karen was going to take a secret flight out of the country, to go hide somewhere in Europe. Karen raised her eyebrows.  _ Pretty clever.  _ Trish had arrived in her little pencil-skirt-Karen-Page-costume with Matt. Poindexter showed up, just like they’d hoped. The fight had been vicious. It wasn’t just that Poindexter had lethal aim with a gun… it was that  _ everything _ was a weapon for him. He could strike silently and at a distance. Matt and Trish, while having incredible reflexes and agility, needed to get close in order to fight. 

Once he realized that Karen wasn’t really there, Poindexter lost it. He became all the more deadly as he grew more manic, more unpredictable, more fueled by rage and psychosis. But they had him outnumbered. Jess, Colleen, and Trish were fast enough to keep him reined in. He couldn’t get past them. There was no escape. Matt took on the brunt of the hand to hand combat, which explained his bruised cheekbone and split lip. 

Karen could hardly breathe as she listened. Knowing how much danger her friends had survived. How many close calls there had been. Ones that Matt was telling her about and surely, ones he was keeping to himself. It shook her. Karen had to keep reminding herself that they’d already promised her that everyone was ok. Everyone was ok. Everyone was ok. 

Matt’s story rolled on, only now and again he was getting interrupted with color commentary from Jess who was 2 glasses of scotch ahead of the rest of them, and though she had a higher than normal human tolerance for booze, she was starting to seem a little buzzed. 

“Our ace in the hole was Luke.” Matt said seriously. “Poindexter couldn’t hurt him, not with guns, not with anything. Luke is indestructible.”

Jess snorted. “I kicked his ass.”

All eyes pivoted to her. Jess raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “What? I did.” 

Frank huffed a laugh. Matt did too.

“Well luckily for us, Poindexter couldn’t kick Luke’s ass. So, once we had him in a small enough space- all Luke had to do was get within arms reach and it would have been a done deal.”

There was silence in the room. Karen felt prickling run all over her skin.  _ Would have  _ been a done deal? God, did they not catch him? Is he still out there? Karen’s thoughts started to spiral. Before she could even formulate a question Frank leaned in, both elbows on the table.

_ “Red, _ is he or is he not-”

“He’s dead.” Matt’s voice was flat and dull. 

And Karen’s heart felt torn between relief for herself and pain for Matt. He hadn’t wanted it to end that way… he always tried so hard. 

It didn’t seem like Matt was going to elaborate, so Karen turned to Jess for an explanation. Jess was watching Matt. She reached for him, Karen couldn’t see, but she though Jess might have been holding Matt’s hand under the table. 

“When he realized there was no way out he shot himself.” Jess explained. 

Karen didn’t know what to say. Frank, on the other hand, clanked his glass loudly on the table and threw back the rest of his scotch, clearly drinking a celebratory shot to Poindexter’s death. Matt scowled at him. Frank glared right back, making an irritatingly satisfied smack of his lips as he swallowed his scotch and reached for the bottle to pour himself some more. 

“Don’t be a dick.” Jess snarled at him.

Frank shrugged her off, but when he looked over to see Karen scowling at him too, he shrank a little and wiped the smug look off his face.  _ Jesus, Frank. _ He resumed his previously somber expression but didn’t apologize. He was not sorry that Poindexter was dead and wouldn’t pretend otherwise.

“So…” Karen said, eager to move past this sticky moment. “We’re in the clear? I can go home?” 

Matt’s face softened as he turned from Frank to Karen.

“Yeah. You can come home. Foggy is hard at work bringing you legally back to life as we speak.” 

Karen tried to smile, but wasn’t sure if she achieved it. She hardly knew where to start. How could she ever thank them enough? How could she even begin? Her eyes were starting to heat up.

“You know, I-” Karen swallowed, her throat having suddenly gone dry. “I can never thank you enough-”

They both cut her off instantly. Matt reached out and squeezed her shoulder. Jess waved a hand dismissively. 

“Come on, Blondie. We love you.”

And cue the tears. 

They all ignored her crying. Jess raised her glass. 

“To Karen Page. Not dead yet.”

Matt grinned and raised his glass. “To Karen Page.”

Frank raised his glass too, his eyes as warm and deep as she’d ever seen them.

“To Karen Page.” 

Karen knew she was blushing. She hastily wiped her eyes and raised her glass, clinking it with her three friends. They all took a moment to enjoy their scotch. After a while, Karen was the one to break the silence.

“Do I really wear pencil skirts that often? Like enough that someone would think it was me from a distance just because of a pencil skirt?”

The other three at the table burst out laughing. 

Matt tilted his head at her, smirking as he took another long sip of from his tumbler. 

“Yeah.”

Jess was grinning. “It's like your uniform.” 

Frank just bit the inside of his cheek.

Karen facepalmed. OK then.

“Jeeze. I guess I need to branch out in the wardrobe department. No more pencil skirts.” 

Matt and Jess laughed again, but Frank shook his head. 

“I like ‘em.” 

Karen laughed, looking to him, thinking he was joking. His eyes were a little bleary from his drink, but they were as intense as ever. He shrugged and doubled down. 

“I like ‘em.” 

Karen felt a little flip flop in her belly, hardly knowing how to respond, but she was rescued by the buzzer from the oven. Dinner was ready. 

Frank popped up from his seat and headed to the kitchen. 

Karen set the table while Matt and Jess were wrapped in some private conversation, voices low and relaxed. Karen tried not to stare, but it was an amazing thing to see. Matt,loose and cheerful, Jess, unguarded and soft. Karen was happy for them. 

As always, the food Frank prepared was incredible. And somehow, the combination of delicious food, expensive scotch, and the end to the threat on Karen’s life swirled together into the most wonderful atmosphere… It was like a party. It was like a home.

The scotch kept flowing. Karen was feeling all floaty and warm and as she looked around the table, from Matt’s goofy smile, to Jess’s flushed cheeks, to Frank’s glassy eyes, she had the feeling that they were sliding their way from buzzed to drunk. She loved it. Having these people who she loved so much, sitting around a table, drinking and laughing and telling stories. It was heaven. 

But Karen snapped out of her dreamy haze instantly as Matt and Frank tag teamed the story of the first time they met, which was also the first time they fought. Frank was smug as Matt admitted how Frank had gotten the jump on him. How Frank…  _ what the hell? Shot Matt IN THE HEAD? _

Karen’s head whipped toward Frank so fast it made her vision swim. She was more pissed off at him than she’d ever been in her entire.. More pissed off than she could even… 

Frank’s eyes got huge at the ferocious look on her face. 

“He was safe!” Frank raised his hands innocently, but he was clearly fighting back a laugh. 

_ Safe. _ Unbelievable. 

Karen stood, not quite sure what she was going to do, but ready to unleash hell.

“Oh shit.” Jess mumbled into her glass.

But before Karen could even find words, Matt was waving her down.

“He wasn’t really trying to hurt me, Karen.” Matt said, somehow laughing as if this was funny. 

The men at this table were so infuriating. Karen sat back down, crossing her arms in irritation. Frank reached over and pulled her chair closer to his, jostling her. She glared at him. He frowned back.  _ Don’t be mad at me.  _

Karen rolled her eyes. 

“These guys are idiots, Kare.” Jess said. “But it's all good now, right? It just took them a while to figure out they weren’t enemies.”

“Uh huh.” Frank chimed in. “Red saved my ass from the Irish and now we’re best pals.”

Karen squinted in confusion while Matt and Frank burst out in another round of annoying, drunk, male laughter. 

_“Yeah-_ you were so screwed.” Matt wheezed between laughs. “You could barely walk… what was with your foot?”

Frank tilted his head back and huffed a laugh. “They put a power drill through it.” 

This information was apparently hilarious. Frank, Matt and now even Jess were cackling. 

Frank turned to Karen trying to stifle his laughing but failing miserably. 

“ ‘S why I was all beat to hell. Remember? When we first met?”

Karen did remember. He’d looked awful there in that hospital bed, like he’d been hit by a bus.  _ Jesus, Frank. _ All of her frustration melted away. She leaned up and kissed Frank’s cheek, so grateful that he was ok. Marvelling that the same broken man from back then in that hospital bed was here with her now, laughing and happy. Karen looked to Matt.

“You saved his life.” She whispered. 

Mat smiled. “And he saved mine.” 

The two men lifted their glasses, nodded to each other, and drank. 

Karen relaxed again, leaning back into Frank, who’d draped his arm over the back of her chair. The conversation flowed easily, each of them taking turns, telling stories about crazy circumstances and close calls. They’d all been through hell and it was good to be able to talk about it with people who understood. It was good to laugh about it. They kept it light. Matt and Frank kept trying to one up each other, talking trash to make each other crack up. Karen was starting to think these two could be real trouble if they decided to buddy up.

“Did you guys ever hear about the time Blondie and I were investigating that serial killer in Sunset Park?” 

Matt and Frank’s laughter died. Frank turned to her suddenly very unamused.

Karen’s eyes went wide and darted over to her friend.  _ Jess, don’t you dare…  _ Frank was going to hate this one.

But Jess had this mischievous spark in her eyes. “Oh man- this story is  _ so good… _ ”

_ “Jess!” _

… 

Eventually the bottle of scotch was empty and everyone was tired. They were all shuffling around the cabin, drunk and happy, getting ready for bed. Matt gallantly told Jess to take the couch and he’d sleep on the floor, but Jess wouldn’t hear it. She reached for him. She told him she was cold. She called him Matty. And he went to her without a fight, stretching out on the couch and letting Jess curl around him as he piled blankets over them both. Karen almost sighed watching them. They were adorable. 

Frank was already in bed when she walked through the cabin turning off all the lamps. She crawled in beside him.

This was still so new for them, this proximity, this openness about how they feel, this claim. Being together was surreal enough, but being together in front of other people… it was something Karen had never thought possible. But here they were. 

Frank’s eyes were black in the darkness as he pulled her close. His hands made their way under her shirt and ran over the bare skin of her back. He’d been holding back since Matt and Jess arrived. He was reserved, hardly touching her. But now it was like he needed to get his fill. His fingers splayed over her back, grabbed on to her hips. Karen touched his jaw that way he liked.

They both knew they couldn’t really talk. Matt would hear anything they whispered and that felt a little odd. So they looked. They touched. Lightly, not trying to start anything they couldn’t finish, just enjoying the feeling, the freedom. Karen raised her face to his, wanting a kiss. Needing it. 

He needed it too. His kiss made her shiver. Soft, but intense, brief, but powerful. Her eyes fluttered open to see Frank’s soft eyes. That relaxed expression was becoming more and more familiar, and it warmed her to see it. Karen kissed his cheek, laid her head down on his chest, and let the thumping rhythm of his heartbeat lull her to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Friends, 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate it more than I can say. 
> 
> I have to admit, I have no idea if this chapter is any good. This week has been crazy. The industry I work in has been really rocked by the economic turmoil right now and I actually lost my job. So, a lot of things in my life are out of my control and I'm in a weird headspace right now. I tried to edit and proof this chapter like normal, but the chapter is so long- its hard to tell if I was making the right choices. I hope it's still an enjoyable read.
> 
> Thanks again for reading - it really does mean a lot to me:)


	7. Chapter 7

Frank blinked at the ceiling. He’d been staring up at it, watching the light change from complete darkness to the clean blue glow that edged at sunrise.

About an hour ago he’d snapped awake with a surge of adrenaline, a sheen of sweat on his skin. A nightmare. He couldn’t remember what he’d been dreaming about exactly, but it scared him. Almost made him grab Karen and shake her awake to make sure she was ok. Almost made him punch a hole in the wall. 

Frank scrubbed a hand over his face, frustrated. This wasn’t out of the norm. Lots of mornings he woke feeling like this… but it hadn’t been as bad since he’d been here. With Karen. It was like his subconscious was reminding him that these last few beautiful days had been a dream, and he was about to wake up and face the cold light of day. He and Karen had so much to talk about. So much to figure out. His head was rattling with all the details, all the problems to solve, all the things that could blow up in his face if he handled them wrong. 

He looked over at Karen and got that filling-up-too-full feeling in his lungs. She was turned toward him in her sleep. Her face was soft and relaxed, her skin almost glowing in the early morning blue. She was so goddamn gorgeous. Frank found himself wishing for the same thing he always wished when it came to her.  _ More time. _

He was grateful, really damn grateful that Red and his pals had taken care of business- that Karen wasn’t in danger anymore. But, he wasn’t ready to go back to the real world yet. He wanted more time up here on this mountain with Karen, where nothing bad could reach them, where the most complicated decision he had to make was what to cook her for dinner. He wanted more time with Karen all to himself. More time to hear her stories and learn everything about her. More time to kiss her, touch her, make her shiver. Once they got back to New York, life would get in the way. It always did. He could feel it. The shadows would creep in. The monsters would crawl out of the dark and drag them apart. 

No.  _ NO. _ He could not let that happen. 

Christ. Thinking about this was making his skin crawl. He could feel the gears inside him starting to grind. He couldn’t lay here anymore- he needed some space. He needed to cool off. To get outside.

Frank rolled out of bed as carefully as he could, not wanting to wake Karen. She didn’t stir. 

He walked with quiet steps toward the back door, sparing a quick glance at Murdock and Jones, and his mouth tipped up to one side despite himself. They were wrapped around each other like teenagers in puppylove. Good for Red. Jones seemed like a good woman. Maybe she’d help Red get that giant stick out of his ass.

Frank grabbed his hoodie from the back of one of the kitchen chairs and stepped outside. He didn’t bother with shoes, he wasn’t going far. The moment he shut the door behind him, he took a deep breath. The air up here, it helped. Just breathing it was like therapy. Cleansing. Energizing. On his second deep breath he noticed that his hoodie smelled like Karen, like her flowery shampoo. He breathed it in again. His new favorite scent, cold mountain air with a hint of beautiful blonde. 

Frank made his way around to the front of the cabin and sat on one of the big tree trunk benches near the fire pit. This was the perfect spot. It was nearly the same view they had from the wall of windows inside, but out here it felt even bigger, more overwhelming. 

Frank stared out at the hills. What if… What if he and Karen stayed out here? Or somewhere like this? What if they didn’t go back? Their whole life could just be motorcycle rides and drinking wine by a fire and enjoying the beauty and the quiet. They could just be together and hide away.

He sighed. His breath floated out in front of him, a brief fog in the cold air. Part of him longed for this kind of life. Ached for it. But the thought of actually trying for something like this was almost laughable. He’d never known two people less likely to “hide away” than him and Karen. They wouldn’t last a month. 

They both believed that they had jobs to do. They both believed they could make a difference. They both knew if you wanted to make a difference in this world, you had to be part of it, neck deep in it. You had to run straight at it, not away from it. Frank understood this and he knew Karen felt the same. 

But what the hell good was understanding how they feel? He still had no idea what to do about it. No idea where to even start. No goddamn clue. 

Frank pulled his hood up over his head and shook off a shiver from the morning chill. He sensed motion in his peripheral and looked over his shoulder. Murdock was headed his way. Frank was a little surprised to realize he didn’t mind the company. Matt took a seat, sighing and breathing deep the same way Frank had when he’d first gotten out here. 

“Frank.”

“Red.”

Their ritual greeting. They were silent for a while, staring out at the staggering view. Well, Frank was staring at it. He wondered for the millionth time what exactly it was that Red saw.

“Sun’s starting to rise, isn’t it? I can feel it.” Murdock’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper, which felt right in the silence all around. 

Frank raised his eyebrows. “Yeah.” 

“What does it look like?”

Frank took a moment, surprised at the question, a little warmed by it. 

“...We’re at the top of a big hill, and the drop off is pretty steep, so it's like we’re looking down on everything. And all these mountains and hills are covered in huge, old, pine trees, but you can probably already tell that from the smell, right?” 

Murdock nodded.

“So, we can’t see the sun yet, but the whole horizon is starting to glow all orange and warm. We’re starting to get these big streaks of pink all the way across the sky.” 

Murdock had a small smile. Frank couldn’t tell if it was happy or sad. 

“Colors are hard sometimes, but I feel like I remember pink.” Murdock said, staring up at the sky like he could really see it. “It’s soft. And sweet. Like candy.” 

“Yeah, it is like that.” Frank nodded. 

They were quiet for a while. Frank watched the colors spill across the sky with a newfound appreciation for every single one. 

“Is it nice?” Frank asked. “That it’s so quiet here?”

Red smiled, for real this time. 

“It's incredible.” He tilted his head like he was listening. “There really are no people around here- for miles. I can hear some animals… and the cars on the highway… but really, the loudest thing right now is your heartbeat.” 

Frank huffed a laugh at that.  _ Holy shit. _ People with actual superpowers. What a trip. 

“I’m the loudest thing around, huh?” 

Red grinned. “Yeah. Just a little bit louder than the girls whispering inside.”

Frank squinted at Murdock. “You can really hear that?”

He nodded.

“What are they talking about?” 

Red’s head tilted like he was listening again, but then he grimaced. “You.” 

Oh. 

Whatever the hell the girls were saying- Frank didn’t want Murdock listening. 

“Can you… tune it out?”

“Yeah.”

“Do that.” 

Murdock laughed. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

They sat quietly again, the silence feeling awkward for the first time.

Murdock turned to him with a shit eating grin. 

“You want to know what they’re saying, don’t you?”

Frank scowled.

“No.” He bite the inside of his cheek, rolling his eyes at himself. “Kinda…  _ No.” _

Murdock laughed again. Frank shook his head, resisting the urge to shove him off the back of the bench, but then gave into the laugh as well. 

“You and Jones headed back to the city today?” 

Murdock nodded, his laughter dying down. 

“Yeah. Foggy can’t get ahold of us up here, and I know if we take too long he’ll worry.”

The sun was finally starting to peer over the horizon, a fiery, neon orange. 

“You and Karen?” Murdock asked.

Frank sighed. “I’ll let Karen make the call.” 

It was an odd feeling, the sudden urge to confide in Red. The need to talk out everything that was on his mind. Frank let himself go with it. 

“Being here. It's easy. It's good. Kinda makes me wish we could just stay here.” Frank looked at Murdock out the side of his eye. “Never go back.” 

Murdock nodded, absorbing that. 

“Do you have to?” Murdock spoke slowly. He was careful choosing words, trying not to say the wrong thing. “I know the city has a lot of painful memories for both of you. Maybe starting somewhere new wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”

Frank took it as a good sign that hearing it out of someone else’s mouth felt like being poked with a stick. It felt wrong. It was confirmation that his gut feeling was right. He and Karen had to go home. 

“That thought's been circling my mind, Red. But the more I think about it, the more I know New York is where we’re supposed to be. We got jobs to do.”

Murdock frowned. 

“...Frank, I never thought I’d say this, but I see it. The thing with you and Karen. I get it. You’re good together. You love each other.” 

Murdock paused, like he was waiting for confirmation. Frank nodded warily. Murdock pressed on. 

“But- you have to know- you can’t keep doing what you’re doing if you want to be with her. You get that, right?”

Frank glowered at him, shifting his elbows to his knees and shaking his head. His temper instantly spiked at Red’s comment, but he tried to reign it in. Red wasn’t wrong. Of course Frank understood that. It was why he’d told Karen to walk away so many goddamn times. He knew it- he just didn’t know what to  _ do about it. _

“Yeah. I know.” Frank bit. “But I’ll tell you what else I know, Red. As much as I know my own name, as much as I trust my own aim- I know the reason I’m still here on this goddamn earth is to find the scumbags in that city and take ‘em out. That’s what I know. That’s what I do. So what am I supposed to do about that, huh?” 

Murdock leaned his elbows on his knees too, mirroring Frank. 

“You find another way- a  _ better _ way. There’s lots of ways to take out New York’s scumbags. Karen does it every day. So does Foggy, so do I.”

Frank snorted, shaking his head. “That is  _ not _ what I do, Red.” 

Red snorted right back. “Then you work with Agent Madani, you sort things out with Mahoney and become a consultant for the police...  _ Jesus, it's New York-  _ you have options. Call up Stark Industries or join SHIELD or something.” 

Frank froze, a little stunned at what Red just spelled out. 

“You could have a life, Frank. A real life. A good one. But The Punisher can’t. The Punisher doesn’t get a happy ending. You’ll end up in prison, or dead, or…” Red trailed off. 

Frank knew what he'd been about to say. The Punisher would end up as the villain. The bad guy. The Monster. Again, it irked him, but Red wasn’t wrong.

“If you really want to be with Karen, you’ll put the Punisher away.” 

Frank winced.  _ If? _

Red was on a roll. “If you  _ really _ want to be with her, you’ll-”

_ “Listen, Red-  _ of course I want to be with her.” Frank cut him off. “Don’t say it like that, alright? I love her. I would take a bullet for her. I’d-”

Murdock scoffed. Actually shook his head and scoffed.

The coiled edges of Frank’s temper were starting to fray.

“You don’t think I’d die for her, Red?” Frank’s voice was low, dangerous. 

Murdock pinned Frank with his unseeing glare. “Sure I think you’d die for her. But that doesn’t mean much, does it?”

Frank scowled at him, starting to get pissed off. 

Murdoch scowled back, equally irritated. “Frank, you’ve made it pretty clear that there’s all sorts of things you’re willing to die for. But what are you willing to live for? That’s what this is about.” 

_...Hell. _

Frank winced. Red might as well have hit him with one of his fancy billy clubs. He was right again. That _ is _ what this is about. Did he want to live, or not? Did he want an after?

Yeah. He fucking did. It was so clear. 

Frank didn’t know how to make it happen, or what the next steps were, but he knew what he wanted. He’d never be able to go back to the way things were. Not now. Not after he’d gotten a glimpse of such bright light, a taste of something so sweet. He wasn’t going to let go of this. Of her. Just the thought of losing her turned his stomach, made him want to run inside and check on Karen to make sure she was still there, safe and sound. 

The idea of heading back to his little shithole apartment, of staring at Karen’s number in his phone but refusing to call, of lurking at the edges of her life rather than being right in the middle of it…  _ Shit- _ it was unthinkable. No way in hell he’d do that to her. And, as much of a glutton for punishment as he was, he wouldn’t do that to himself either. 

Frank shook his head again, staring back out at the sunrise, oddly wanting to laugh. Goddammit, one of Red’s sermons finally got to him. 

“You’re right, Red. Shouldn’t’ve taken me this long to figure out.” Frank sighed.  _ She’s the answer to all the questions. _

Murdock looked satisfied with that. He turned, seeming to study the landscape. Maybe he was in his own way. They were quiet for a while. It was a comfortable silence, a camaraderie which, despite appearances, Frank had always felt with Red. Deep down, even in the beginning, he’d known Red wasn’t his enemy. But it was different now. He felt like a friend. Jesus, being up on this mountain was making him soft. 

“So, you and Jones…” Frank left that hanging to be a pest. 

Matt huffed a laugh, pressing his lips shut tight, like he was determined not to take the bait. Frank didn’t ask anything else. He just waited, knowing the silence was doing all the work for him. 

Eventually Matt’s eyebrows just rose like he was in disbelief. “It’s new…”

Frank got the lowdown on Murdock and Jones, much to his amusement. When girl-talk was over, they headed inside. Frank needed to get some coffee in him.

Frank’s eyes darted over to the bed as he entered the cabin. Jones had taken his spot under the covers. Her and Karen’s heads were close together, sharing the same pillow. They looked like trouble. Their conversation ended abruptly as the men entered the room and their smiles were a little too innocent. Karen’s cheeks were flushed. 

Christ, Frank didn’t even want to know what conversation he’d just interrupted. Except for the fact that he totally did. 

“Morning, early birds.” Jones yawned. 

“Morning.” Murdock echoed back. 

Frank and Karen just smiled, watching each other.

Murdock headed straight for the coffee machine, so Frank went to the fridge. He got to work making breakfast, whipping up some omelets with onions, bacon, and cheese, while the other three sat round the table with their coffee. He liked listening in on their conversations about the latest from Danny Rand and Nelson’s upcoming wedding. What he liked even more was that while they chatted away, he got to have the kitchen all to himself. He was going to miss this kitchen more than he’d miss the view out the windows or even the fresh air. 

He brought everyone their plates then circled back for a big stack of toast and a bowl of berries. Karen was watching him as he returned. She kept staring as he sat down and reached for his coffee. She had this little smile… She reached over and grabbed one of the strings on his hoodie. He leaned toward her on instinct when she tugged. Karen whispered in his ear.  _ Looks good. _ And she kissed his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, and then let him go and started buttering her toast. 

Frank felt heat rising up the back of his neck. He took a long sip of coffee to cover the awkward grin that was trying to spread over his face. 

The thing with him and Karen was… their relationship had always been so private. Almost secret. Tucked away from the rest of the world in shadows and stolen moments. When Murdock and Jones arrived yesterday, it had jarred him. He didn’t know how to act, how to talk to her, how to touch her. Karen made it seem so easy. But then, she was always ten steps ahead of him. All he really had to do was follow her lead. The feeling was new, and a little uncomfortable, but it felt good. Really good. And when she made eyes at him and kissed him in front of the two… it made him want to drag her somewhere private and show her exactly how good it made him feel. 

Karen looked at him from the corner of her eye. The look on her face was teasing him. She knew she made him blush and she thought she was pretty damn funny.  She oughta be careful. Frank stared her down over the rim of his coffee. 

“Should we head out pretty soon?” Jones asked Murdock. 

He nodded. “Yeah. Foggy will be waiting. Plus, we have that meeting with Harrison tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.” Jones turned to Karen and Frank. “What are you two gonna do?”

Frank felt Murdock watching him, but he just turned to Karen. It was her call. 

Karen's eyes locked on Frank for a stretched moment. She was intense, like she was trying to read a map. 

“I think… I’d like to stay here a little longer. Another day or two.” 

She was talking to Jones, but looking at Frank. Asking a question that was so easy to answer. He gave her a smile.  _ Hell yes. _ Another day or two out here sounded amazing. 

“Cool. But you’re coming home, Blondie… right?” 

Karen broke her gaze with Frank and looked between Murdock and Jones, coming to some decision in her mind. 

“Yeah. We’re coming home.”

Karen looked back to Frank, her eyes a little wide. Checking in to make sure he was on board. He was. But there was so much more to talk about, so much to explain. He couldn’t do it in front of the other two. He needed Karen alone. All to himself. He gave her a smile to reassure…

“God, Matt- I wish I was blind too.” Jones deadpanned, rolling her eyes. “Then I wouldn’t have to look at all this eye-banging across the table.” 

…

By the time Frank had breakfast cleaned up, Murdock and Jones were ready to hit the road. Karen was already making a laundry list with Murdock about things they needed to dig into when she got back. She had a separate list going with Jones, but that seemed to revolve more around where they were going to go have ‘Welcome Back to the Land of the Living’ drinks with their friends.

Karen was teary and all hugs as her friends headed out to their car. Frank shook hands with Murdock and nodded to Jones, who once again stood at attention and gave him a sarcastic little salute. He narrowed his eyes at her, which only served to make her grin. Annoying, how a glare from him could make so many men piss themselves, but he couldn’t intimidate any of the women in his life for shit. Karen leaned into him as the car disappeared in the woods. 

Frank could feel himself winding up as the rumbling of the car faded further and further away. They were alone again. There was so much they needed to talk about. He needed to say everything right this time. He did  _ not _ want a repeat of the Beth conversation. He needed to make sure that Karen knew where he stood. Even though he didn’t have any of the details worked out… and he honestly wasn’t sure what was even possible… 

Jesus, he wasn’t good at any of this shit. But Karen was. She always knew what to do.

Karen took his hand and squeezed it, wiping her eyes. She led him back into the cabin and he followed close. She was right- as usual. They needed to go inside and talk. They needed to sit down and lay out a plan of attack. 

Karen held the door open for him. He strode over to the kitchen and rapped his knuckles on the counter, trying to come up with the best way to start. Frank crossed the room, stepping around Karen to go flick on the fireplace- that always made everything better. He scanned the cabin, then focused on the bookshelves… maybe they’d need a pen and paper to write things down. He could probably find some-

Karen grabbed the front of his hoodie, stopping him as he brushed past her again, crossing the room in the other direction. He stared at her. She was right, of course. They didn’t need to write anything down. They just needed to sit down and focus and-

She kissed him. 

Karen was up on her toes, making fists in his hair, kissing him with everything she had. 

Frank lost his train of thought… it unravelled completely. Just like that. When he remembered he had hands, he grabbed hold of her, pulling her close. When he realized he had legs, he started walking her backward, not knowing where he was headed. Frank backed her into the dining table and Karen broke the kiss. She looked him dead in the eye.

“Let’s talk later.” Her voice was all breath and mist.

Karen was always right. She always knew what to do. 

Frank wasn’t sure if the growl he gave her counted as a response to what she’d just said, but it was the best he could do. He had her up on the table in a couple of pounding heartbeats. They stared at each other, breathing heavy. Both at a loss, both unable to form words. It didn’t matter. They would talk later. Right now they didn’t need to speak, they didn’t need to think. All they needed was right here…

Their talk could wait until after Frank unwrapped her like a present and spread her out over the table. Until after Karen’s voice stopped echoing off the walls with all the sweet sounds she made. After the shudders in his body faded back to a warm, satisfied buzz. 

_ Christ, Karen... _

Frank looked down at her. Gorgeous, naked, flushed and wrecked by him. He felt that King Kong feeling sweep through him like fire. He wanted to beat his chest, to roar at the sky. Frank grabbed Karen’s wrists and pulled her upright. Her muscles were so loose, it was like she wanted to flop right back down onto the table again. It made them both laugh and he kissed her. 

Once he had her settled and was sure she wouldn’t tip over, he started pulling his clothes back on. He was about to shrug back into his hoodie, but Karen booed. Frank’s eyes went wide for a half second before he tipped his head back and laughed out loud.  _ This girl, _ she killed him. He didn’t put the hoodie on, he tossed it at her and she caught it, grinning. 

Karen slipped her arms into the sleeves and zipped it up. She hopped off the table and gave him a wink before sauntering to the kitchen for a glass of water. Frank followed her. She was so open with the way she watched him while they stood together in the kitchen. He liked the way she looked at him, the way it made him feel as her eyes floated all over his chest. He’d abide by her No Shirts Allowed rule. Happily. Hell, he’d walk around naked if she wanted him to. Although, that would be a little distracting during the serious conversation he knew they needed to have.

But apparently their serious conversation could wait a little longer. They found themselves wrapped up in gossip about Murdock and Jones, like teenagers at a sleepover. It made him laugh. They were piecing the story together, telling each other everything they knew and suspected, not giving a shit about spilling the beans on their friends because it was just too good. Karen had more details than Frank, unsurprisingly. Murdock had been nuanced in talking to Frank, but Jess didn’t hold back with Karen. 

The two had known each other for a while now, but hadn’t been close despite their many mutual friends. Made sense- they were very different people. But it all changed when they realized Karen was in trouble. They started working together, planning together, relying on each other. 

They realized they had so much in common. Karen told Frank about how both Jones and Murdock recently had their birth mothers burst back into their lives in the middle of a thousand other messes… All he could do was shake his head. What a shitshow. 

Either way, they’d been working on the plan to keep Karen safe and take out Poindexter. Spending all this time… Getting closer and closer... And then the plan went off without a hitch. Well, Poindexter was dead, but the rest of them were ok. 

The whole team had to flee the area fast so that Detective Mahoney and Misty Knight could control the crime scene. Jones went with Murdock, they ended up at his place. It had been all adrenaline and relief, and a little bit of Murdock torturing himself that Poindexter died and Jones trying to snap him out of it. And they slept together. 

Frank almost choked on his coffee. He’d suspected as much from what Murdock had vaguely hinted at, but it was still funny to hear. Altar Boy might’ve had to say a few Hail Mary’s afterwards. What would sleeping with a woman that strong even be like? 

Frank blinked hard, not wanting his mind to wander down that weird road, and listened as Karen told him how Jones was trying to figure out how to work backward from where they were. They’d slept together, knew they were attracted to and liked each other… but she wasn’t exactly sure where to go from there. Frank told Karen Murdock was essentially in the same boat. It was fun to talk behind their backs a little bit. Fun to tease them and joke about it even though Frank and Karen were in a similar, even more complex situation.

Speaking of their situation…

Frank tried to bring it up again a while later, after they’d watched another cheesy 90s action movie and were curled up together on the couch. He was studying a lock of her hair that he’d wrapped around his finger.

“Karen…” Was all he got out before she ambushed him with a kiss again. 

All of a sudden she was everywhere, straddling his lap, carding her fingers through his hair, grinding against him slowly.

_ Whoa _ . 

How did she keep surprising him like this? Catching him off guard and lighting him up? She controlled him completely. Did she even realize? 

Frank broke out into a sweat. She got him so hot, so fast. She was still in his hoodie. His hands slid underneath, loving the fact that she was completely bare, that she was all his. She moaned at his touch and he felt like he was king of the fucking universe. 

Frank grabbed her ass, grinding her hard against him for a few rolls of her hips before shifting, trying to lay her down on her back. But she broke their kiss with a little whimper and shook her head. She started kissing her way down his neck, down his chest, and before he could do anything other than choke on his own breath, Karen was on her knees in front of him. Her eyes were glittering, they were the darkest blue he’d ever seen.

She took him apart piece by piece. He’d never recover. She worked him over so well. She toyed with him. She overwhelmed him. He was groaning and twitching under her touch, his eyes kept screwing shut because it was all too much, too good. But then she’d moan and his eyes would snap open, not wanting to miss a goddamn thing. He was hers, he was lost. Her hands, her mouth.  _ Her eyes… _

_ Fuck. _

As he recovered, arms hanging limp at his sides, trying to remember how to breathe… he felt like whatever the opposite of King Kong was. A lapdog maybe? He just wanted to curl into Karen. To lay there, belly up, and beg for her touch forever. 

Karen just smiled at him. She knew. 

Getting his brain online after that took a while. Karen went and grabbed them some ice cream, then wanted to go for a walk, then wanted to make dinner together, and he slowly realized that she just wasn’t ready to talk about the future yet. She was avoiding it, distracting him in these incredible ways. He understood, even though it tied a little knot of stress inside him. If she wasn’t ready to talk about it, he’d wait. Patience wasn’t his strong suit, but he’d wait. 

Luckily, because Karen was fucking perfect, he didn’t have to wait too long. 

She was finally ready late that night. When the cabin was dark and only lit up by the light of the moon through the windows. When the only sounds in the world were the two of them breathing heavily as their bodies started to cool down. Frank was still on top of her, laying between her thighs, running his nose over her throat and kissing her pulse that was still fluttering from the way he’d gotten her to shiver and shake just a few minutes ago. He was drowning in all this skin against skin, kissing her everywhere his mouth could reach. Her hands probably would have been roaming all over him, but he had them pinned to the bed, pressing her wrists into the mattress with a light hold. Her bones felt so fragile under his hands, it made him ache and want to protect her. He groaned, kissing her pulse point again. 

“I love this.” She whispered.

Frank nodded into her neck.

“Things can’t go back to the way they were before…” Her voice sounded choked up.

Frank’s entire body jolted as his eyes rose to her face. Just a second ago she’d been exhausted and happy and now… her eyes were wide. Glassy. She was upset. 

“It can’t, Frank.” She looked like she was in pain.

NO no no. 

He released her wrists immediately and leaned up to get a better look at her, his heart climbing up into his throat. 

“It won’t, Sweetheart.  _ It won’t.” _ He was running his knuckles on her cheek, touching her throat, needing to make it better right now. 

She blinked and tears spilled over onto her cheeks. Frank felt them like a kick in the ribs. She was crying because of him. Because he’d given her every goddamn reason in the world to worry that he’d disappear once they got back to the city. 

“I want an ‘after’. Remember how you told me about ‘after’? I want that, Karen. With you.”

She made a little sobbing noise. It wrecked him.

“Really?” 

“YES. Karen. I want that.” He was using the voice he normally used to scare people. He wasn’t doing it on purpose- but he needed her to believe him. She had to. 

Her face was unreadable.

“The Punisher…” was all she said. 

She didn’t need to elaborate. The Punisher was the elephant in the room. The shadow in the corner. The monster under the bed. 

Frank paused for a moment. He hadn’t really had the time to come to grips with this himself, but now was the time. He forced the words out of his mouth. 

“The Punisher’s not coming back. He’s done.” 

Karen’s lips fell open, he felt her little gasp under his belly. 

“...What?”

Frank looked down at his fingers on her throat, feeling stabilized by the heartbeat he felt there. 

“I want to be with you, Karen. Like this.” His gaze flickered back up to her eyes. “I can’t have that if he’s around.”

She was blinking fast. More tears fell.  _ Please stop crying… _

“Are you sure?” She asked, in the smallest voice he’d ever heard from her. 

A voice in the back of his mind growled  _ NO _ , but his mouth said yes. And it was the truth. 

“Yes.” He stared into her eyes, needing her to believe him. “I have a job to do, Karen. You know that. But… I want to be like you.”

Her brow furrowed, not understanding.

“I want to take all this mess and turn it into something good. I want to fight the bad guys, but still have a life. Maybe even be one of the good guys. Like you.” 

Frank nudged her nose with his, hoping like hell she knew he meant every word.

“You’re my goddamn hero, Karen Page.” 

Karen burst into another little sob, but this time he could tell they were happy tears. They didn’t make him feel so terrible, but he still wanted her to stop. 

Her arms had been lying listless on the mattress, but now her hands floated up to his face. She touched his jaw and the whole world quieted down. She kissed him. She kept it light, but it was intense. Profound. It reminded him of the kiss she’d given him on the train way back when. It was so perfect it almost hurt.  When the kiss ended it took Frank a second before he could open his eyes, the power of her touch still resonating through him. His eyes finally flickered open, and he was rewarded with the biggest, most dazzling smile. She shined in the moonlight. So happy. Eyes glittering. Did he make her that happy?  _ Him?  _

“I love you.” She whispered, and it sounded like a song. 

He echoed back.

“We’ll figure this out.” 

Frank huffed a laugh. Of course, she was already ten steps ahead of him, figuring everything out and saving the day. She was incredible. He could almost hear her mind whirring, already coming up with solutions to problems he hadn’t even thought of yet. But he couldn’t really think of anything right now. Her nails were running over his skull, her fingers twirling and pulling his hair. It made everything all fuzzy.

“What do you think you’ll do?” She asked.

He knew she was referring to a job, now that he was kinda… unemployed. 

“Don’t know.” He said, laying his head down on Karen’s chest, loving the way she kept playing with his hair. “Red actually put some ideas in my head today… I could call Madani. And there’s SHIELD. Curt actually knows a couple of vets at SHIELD I could contact.”

Karen  _ hmmmmed _ her approval of these ideas. 

Frank kissed her chest. “I’ll figure something out. Gotta do something worthwhile even though I don’t really need to work. Technically.”

Karen  _ hmmmed _ again. “What do you mean?”

Oh. This was a little awkward.

“I’m kinda… rich.”

Karen laughed. “What?”

Frank leaned up, wincing at her, hardly knowing how to say this. 

“When I cleaned up the cartel… there were a lot of dead rich guys with bank accounts full of illegal money just sitting there.” 

Frank watched Karen’s face, she still looked like she was on the verge of laughter, like she was sure he was joking. 

“Remember David Lieberman?”

She nodded. Of course she remembered. 

“After the last round of bullshit with Russo, he must have thought I was in trouble and needed a hand. I got an encrypted message from him with a bunch of account numbers and… yeah. I’m rich.”

Karen squinted at him, sure he was kidding. Frank laughed, he didn’t know what to say. He understood how it was hard to believe. He lived like a vagabond. Everything he owned could fit inside this van. 

The moment stretched between them and Karen’s eyes got wider and wider, waiting for him to deny what he’d just said. But all he could do was shrug. 

She burst out laughing, a giddy, shocked little laugh. “So… how rich are you?”

He smirked at her, sliding his hands up her arms again, pinning her wrists back to the bed. 

“Rich enough to buy us an exact replica of this gigantic bed. We’re gonna need it.”

She smiled, biting her lip.

“This bed won’t fit in my apartment.”

“Rich enough to get you a big apartment.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yep. What else you want?” He kissed her neck, her cheek. “A pony? A castle? A spaceship full of gingersnaps?”

She laughed. He loved making her laugh.

… 

The next couple of days were like a dream. Motorcycle rides and nights by the fire. Cooking for Karen and making her laugh. Her sighs in his ears, her nails down his back. It was good, but it had to end. They had work to do. An ‘after’ to get to. 

Eventually it was time to clean up. Frank packed up the extra food they hadn’t finished off while Karen gathered her things that were scattered all over the cabin. He brought their stuff to his car slowly, taking his time, knowing both he and Karen were wound a little tight at the thought of leaving this perfect place. They were headed back to the real world, and all the pressure and the chaos and the complications that came with it. They were in no rush. They kept locking eyes with each other, sending brave smiles and reassuring nods. 

Karen sighed as she locked up the place. Frank stood by the driver’s side of the car, watching her as she stood on the passenger side, staring back at the little cabin. Longingly. Like she was saying goodbye to an old friend. All heart. So soft and sweet. And strong. She turned and smiled at Frank over the roof of the car.

“Here we go.”

Frank nodded back at her.  _ Here we go. _

It was a beautiful drive. They didn’t talk much as they enjoyed the scenery, just sharing the occasional smile. When he pulled over for gas Karen went inside the station and bought them some coffees. The normalcy of it all struck Frank like a rogue wave. It was like they were ok. Like they were real people. He remembered this. 

Frank felt Karen’s tension spike as soon as they were able to see the city on the horizon. It glowed with all its lights, like it was on fire in the distance. He looked over at her and she was already watching him. Her blue eyes were wide, intense. She was bracing herself for their re-entry to the city like they were going to have a crash landing. 

He took her hand. Squeezed.  _ Don’t worry, Sweetheart. We’re good. _

Frank was relieved they’d already decided on what they wanted to do when they got back to town. He was so glad they weren’t sitting here in this car right now trying to have some important discussion. Frank had been the one to bring it up last night. He was already feeling a little tense at the prospect of leaving in the morning, and was kicked in the head by the thought of arriving back to the city the next day and just dropping her off at her place. He didn’t want to impose… but tomorrow would be hard enough, he didn’t want to have to sleep without her.

So, he’d mentioned it in a casual way, like he was just checking in. What did she feel like doing once they got back? The way she didn’t hesitate for even a second went a long way in settling his stomach about the whole thing. She’d locked eyes with him, instantly asking him to come to her place. Would he stay over? She wanted to be together, at least on the first night. Would that be ok? 

He told her that would be great. He’d almost laughed when she’d double checked with him. Was he sure it was ok? It didn’t have to be her place- she was happy to come to his. 

He’d flinched at the idea. Hell no. He never wanted Karen to even see his shitty little apartment, let alone sleep there. That place wasn’t for her. It wasn’t even for him anymore. That was the Punisher’s place. Frank needed to ditch it. Get a real place for a real life. 

Frank was so busy thinking about getting a new apartment that he blew his cover of trying to pretend like he didn’t already know where Karen lived. He took the right exit and navigated all the one way streets like he’d already done it a hundred times. Because he had. It was her little laugh that tipped him off that he’d given himself away. Karen was grinning and shaking her head. He felt his ears go a red, but all he could do was shrug. So Karen figured out he had a crush on her. The jig was up.

Frank felt a buzzing in his head as he parked near Karen’s building. This was the third apartment of hers he was going to see. He was smacked by how different their relationship was when he’d entered each of her places before. The first time, sneaking in past the cops, she’d greeted him with a gun right before the place was ripped apart with bullets. The second time, he’d actually been invited in, but they were walking on eggshells, barely able to understand how they’d let themselves become friends. And now here he was, carrying a duffle bag and a big box of food as she hauled her suitcase up three flights of stairs. Again, he was invited, and this time… he was going to stay. 

His brain was fizzing and popping while she unlocked her door. When it swung open, he entered slow, like it was hallowed ground. It was.

Karen’s apartment was small. A lot smaller than her last one. Frank wondered if she’d had to downsize when she lost her job at the paper, had to move into this tiny shoebox because it was all she could afford. 

He smiled as he looked around. It was small, but it was so  _ her _ .  It was obvious how often she worked at home. Papers and folders and files were all over her desk in the corner as well as the tiny coffee table set near her one puffy chair. She had a lot of plants. There wasn’t a lot of art on the walls, but she’d pinned a bunch of articles all around. She’d lined the whole apartment with high shelves so that almost her entire space had a halo of books. Her kitchen was tiny. He walked over and set the box he was carrying on the floor. It was too big for the little bit of counter space she had. 

Karen was watching him look around, smiling a little nervously. He smirked at her.

“Shoulda brought you flowers.”

She grinned. Karen gave him a tour of the apartment. The place was so small, it didn’t take long, but it was sweet of her. It made him feel welcome. 

He went back into the kitchen as she unpacked. He poked around her cupboards to find where everything went and frowned. She didn’t keep much food in the house. No wonder she was so skinny. He was glad to be filling up her fridge with their leftovers from the cabin, and made a mental note of what to bring for next time so he’d be able to cook for her when he came over. 

When he finished up in the kitchen he went to look for Karen. She was in her bedroom tossing most of the clothes from her suitcase into a hamper near the closet. She turned when she heard him, blushing. Frank froze in the doorway, staring at her. 

She'd changed. She was wearing the tiniest… he guessed he had to call them pajamas.  The set was light blue, and the fluttery top floated over her skin, and the tiny shorts were just ruffly little nothings. He’d be able to rip them apart without even trying. Except he wouldn’t. They were too pretty. She looked like something out of a daydream. Frank’s eyes shot back up to hers. She’d put this on for him. He knew it. 

_ Christ. _ Karen didn’t have to wear sexy little things for him to be turned on at the sight of her. But the fact that she did… He felt that burning in his chest that reminded him that he was human, and made him feel alive, and wanted, and so damn good. 

Frank’s pulse thumped in his veins and he finally stepped across the threshold of her bedroom. His toe caught on something and he looked down. His bag. Karen had already brought his bag into her room. She brought it for him because she wanted him to feel welcome, because she wanted him to stay, because she willingly gave him everything she had. Because she was perfect. Because she knew every little action, every little sign, meant the world to him right now as so many things were changing and he was just as scared as he was happy.

_ Jesus Christ, Karen. _

Trying to explain everything she’d just made him feel in the last three seconds was impossible. All he could do was step up close, look at her, take the hem of her little tank top between his fingers. Silky and soft. 

“I hadn’t been expecting any company up there at the cabin. Had I known you’d be stopping by… I would have packed some cuter things.” 

Her voice edged at laughter. He had to smile too.

“If I’d seen you in this when I first got there- probably would’ve had a heart attack.” His fingers drifted up to toy with the barely there straps on her shoulders. “Might still have a heart attack now.” 

She laughed, but her giggles were cut short as he kissed her. He kept it slow, not wanting to rush a second of this. The feel of Karen’s silky little outfit under his hands was so incredible. He knew he could tear it off if he wanted to, but that just made him more gentle. He didn’t want to damage any of her pretty things, he wanted her to put them on for him again and again. Karen’s touch mirrored his, so light as she undressed him. Like he was fragile, too. Like every inch of his skin needed her tender care. It did.

Something about this… it felt like their first time. And maybe it was. This wasn’t some fantasy, an escape on a mountaintop where they could forget about the real world. They were home. They were choosing each other. They were choosing this, in the face of everything that was up against them. And that made it all the sweeter. More intense, more beautiful, more pulse poundingly, head swirlingly  _ good. _

Frank had Karen spread out for him the way he loved, her hand was in his hair as he kissed and licked and sucked at her center to his heart’s content… but something was different. A little off. He glanced up at Karen. She was panting. He could tell she loved what he was doing from the look on her face, and from how soaking wet she was.  _ What was it? _ His gaze landed on her free hand that was up by her mouth, she was biting her fingers.

Ah. She’s trying to keep quiet. 

Frank smirked at her, soothing his hands up and down her thighs. Karen didn’t want to be overheard by her neighbors. He understood. He remembered that change with Maria when their kids got old enough. They’d quieted down. Maria would bury her face in the pillows if she couldn’t keep quiet. Frank could understand making those efforts for the sake of kids… but trying to keep quiet for the benefit of nosy neighbors? No fucking way. 

Frank crawled up Karen’s body. She reached for him, dragging him closer, grinding up into him, clearly wanting him inside. Frank kissed her, growling into her mouth, before breaking away and staring her down.

“Karen… remember how I warned you not to spoil me?” 

He lowered his mouth to her neck, not waiting for her to answer, but he felt her nod.

“Well, I’m spoiled now, Sweetheart.” He ran his lips along her jaw, nipped her ear lobe. “And there’s no going back.”

He brushed his nose against Karen’s quick before leaning up to catch her eyes again. Karen was looking up at him a little confused. Frank started grinding against her. She bit her lip.

“The sounds you make… the way you moan and sigh and scream… I love it.” He ground down a little harder. “I need it.”

She was so wet as he dragged himself back and forth over her. So good. So  _ damn good. _ Karen whimpered. Beautiful, but still too quiet. Frank kissed her, smiling into her mouth, but still not giving her what they both wanted.

“I’m gonna need you to get used to the fact that your neighbors are gonna hear the music you make.” 

Frank took Karen’s face in his hand, so she couldn’t look away as he slid inside her. Her eyes were wide.

“They’re gonna know my name.”

He bucked into her. Hard. Karen’s breath caught in her throat.

“They’re gonna hear how good I make you feel.”

He kept his rhythm slow, but hard and deep. 

“They’re gonna know when I make you come.” 

And he finally,  _ finally _ let himself start thrusting faster. Karen squeezed her eyes shut and let out a little wine. _ Not enough. _

Frank shifted, changing his angle, pounding into her, making her writhe and dance for him. He knew how much she loved it, but he needed to hear it. He fucking  _ needed it. _

“Come on, Karen. Let me hear it… _ come on _ …”

She was so wound up, about to shatter any second. Karen sank her nails into his back and finally let out a real moan, long and loud and so goddamn glorious in his ears. 

_ “Yeah, _ Sweetheart. So good.” He growled in her ear, the sound of her voice nearly sending him over the edge. “Now my name.  _ My name _ when you come.”

He gave her what she needed, faster,  _ faster. _ She gasped, she shook, she arched- 

_ “Frank!” _

Karen was still blushing minutes later as they both laid there, tangled up in her bed that felt so small compared to the one they’d just spent the previous few nights in. 

She poked him in the chest.

“If we get a noise complaint and I get kicked out of this apartment, you’ll have to get me a new place Mr. Rich Guy.”

Frank laughed, for once in his life he was already ten steps ahead of her. 

“Done.”

  
  


:::

  
  


_ One Year Later…  _

Karen was nodding along, only halfway listening to the to-do list Foggy was running through aloud. She didn’t mean to be ignoring him, and she knew that her partial attention was driving him insane, but… he’d already told her everything three times. 

“So, we’re all good on that? You got it?” Foggy asked. Again.

She looked up from her laptop, giving Foggy her sweetest, most indulgent smile. 

“ _ Foggy.  _ I got it. Pick up the flowers at 9am. Drop the tabletop decor and smaller stuff at the reception for the catering staff to set up, and make sure to have the large arrangements at the church by 11am. Make sure the bride has her bouquet by noon. Ceremony at 1pm.” She winked at him. “We got this.”

Foggy smiled back at her even though his brow remained wrinkled with stress. This wedding was going to give him an ulcer. Thank God he’d barely been allowed to have any responsibilities at his own wedding. It might have actually killed him. 

Almost ten months ago Foggy and Marci finally got married. It was a huge production. Foggy’s family was gigantic, so the guest list was bound to be long no matter what. But on top of that, since running for DA, Foggy had become a high profile person in town. Police, lawyers, politicians, and all sorts of high society needed an invite, much to Foggy’s annoyance, but Marci insisted and she was not to be argued with. She was such a powerhouse. Karen grinned thinking about it, pretty sure that with Marci behind him, Foggy would eventually be the Mayor or something. 

Foggy’s wedding had- not one, but  _ two _ planners. One for the ceremony. One for the reception. And really- it was more like three planners, because Marci was Chief Executive of Everything. 

It had been a wonderful day, organized and executed by a staff of professionals. A wedding in stark contrast to the one coming up tomorrow that had Foggy spinning. Matt and Jess’s wedding was a much smaller, more intimate DIY get together. A short guest list of close friends, and everyone had a job or something to contribute. Foggy was taking his Best Man duties very seriously and had basically promoted himself to wedding planner status- so now here he was, checking over his to-do list for the 4th time. He had that wrinkle he always got in his brow when he really really cared about something. Karen watched him, scanning his notepad and mouthing silent words to himself. He was definitely the Best Man. One of the Best Men in the world.

Their office door swung open. Jess sauntered in. 

“Here comes the bride…” Karen started singing to be annoying. 

Jess rolled her eyes. “Not you too. I can’t wait for this to be over. Trish is driving me insane.”

Karen laughed. Foggy barely looked up from his list to say hello, but Matt finally poked his head out of his office at the sound of Jess’s voice. He grinned at her.

“Think you can make it one more day?” He crowded her, kissing her cheek. “After tomorrow you’ll never have to have another conversation about flowers or dresses or hors d'oeuvres ever again.”

Jess tugged at his tie, pretending to pout, but her eyes were sparking. “Ok fine.” 

_ Good grief, _ they were so adorable. 

Karen’s phone buzzed, startling her from her doe eyed staring at the two soon-to-be newlyweds. It was a text from Frank. 

_ Debriefing. Headed home soon. _

Sparks shot up Karen’s spine.  _ He’s home.  _ He’d been gone for three weeks. When she hadn’t heard from him last night she’d resigned herself to the fact that this mission might be way longer than she’d hoped. That she’d be going to Matt’s wedding alone.

But Frank was  _ back. _ Karen shut her laptop and immediately started packing her bag. 

“Text from Frank?” Matt asked, probably able to hear her heart beating faster or something. 

“Yeah.” She smiled, tossing her computer charger in her purse, scanning her desk for anything else she was forgetting. 

“Everything ok?”

Karen’s smile grew. Matt and Frank had become good friends. She loved it. 

“Yeah. He’s doing his post-mission now. I’m so glad he made it back in time for the wedding!”

She said quick goodbyes to her friends and took off for the train. She was grinning as she walked, enjoying the bluster of cool autumn air, knowing she probably looked like a loon smiling to herself on the sidewalk like this. She didn’t care. She was so glad Frank was home. That he was safe. That he was ok. 

He’d been working at SHIELD for months now, and while it was often dangerous work, it suited him. This most recent mission took him to South America, and she’d been more worried about him than usual. It was silly, but… the night before the mission, he’d cut his hair and shaved his beard. It didn’t mean anything really, but for whatever reason, it set off some sort of alarm in the back of her mind. Like he was taking this mission more seriously than other ones. Like it was more dangerous or something. He assured her that he’d just done it because he was going to be roughing it outside in the heat, and she believed him. But still… the little brick of stress had sat in her stomach this entire time and only disintegrated now that he was home.

She was nearly giddy with relief and excitement. Frank’s text hadn’t said much, but that was a good thing. When his texts were short like that, it was a sign that all was well, that he was ok. 

Sometimes when he came home from a mission, he was  _ not  _ ok. When something on the job scared him or messed with his head, his texts were long and full of questions.  _ Are you ok? Do you need anything? Where are you? How long until you get home?  _

She’d come home to find him too quiet. Physically crowding her, but mentally a thousand miles away. Karen would shepherd him into bed and hold him until he fell asleep. Often, he’d jolt awake at some point in the night, sweating and gasping for air. He’d look around all wild eyed. He’d ask if she was ok with a choked voice, running his hands over her like he was checking for injuries, and once his mind cleared a little, he’d apologize and screw his eyes shut like he was yelling at himself inside his head. On nights like that, she’d just pull him close again and run her fingers through his hair because talking wouldn’t help and it was all she could do. 

Frank was doing so well though, really, in the grand scheme of things. Nights like that were rare, and he almost always recovered in the morning. She’d wake up to a shy smile and soft kisses. 

Thankfully, it didn’t seem like tonight was going to be one of those off nights. His text was short and direct. Short texts on his way home… they usually meant he was feeling more than ok. They usually meant he was feeling alive. Revved up. He had some extra adrenaline to burn off- and he was coming home to burn it off with  _ her. _ Karen felt butterflies coming to life in her belly. 

She’d recognized this pattern after a couple of months of living together. Work at SHIELD had him generally coming home calm and relaxed, but every once in a while he’d have a brush with danger, or get some good news, and he’d come home much more than happy. He’d come home hungry.

Karen loved seeing him alive like that. Those nights were so good for them both. So life affirming. 

Well,  _ now _ they were. There had been a few hiccups at first. 

For a while in the beginning, Frank had had this thing… like he was afraid of letting go, being too rough, like there was a side of him he didn’t want her to see. She’d sensed it a few times, but their love making was always so incredible, always so intense, she’d told herself she was imagining it. 

Then one night he got home from a mission. All he texted to let her know he was back was ‘ _ On my way’. _ Those three words had sent a shiver through her, and she’d been more than ready for him by the time he’d swaggered in with a black eye and a split lip and a belly full of fire. He grabbed her face and kissed the soul out of her. She was instantly shaking with how much she needed him. He spun her around, bent her over the kitchen table, hiked up her skirt and was buried inside her in the time it took her to gasp his name.  _ God, _ it was so hot. He was handling her perfectly, just the right side of rough. He even smacked her on the ass a couple of times, no where near hard enough to hurt- it just added to the delicious, wildness of it all. Karen came so quickly she would have been embarrassed if it hadn’t just made him growl and buck harder to keep her high and spinning. Over and over. He just kept going. She didn’t come down until he shuddered against her. Her name ripped out of his throat and into the back of her neck where his lips were pressed to her skin. It was amazing.  _ So good. _ She was boneless and sex wrecked and floating. 

Then… he was saying her name again, but he sounded worried. He was lifting her up off the table, searching her face, asking if she was ok. Karen was so confused.  _ What’s wrong?  _ Then he started apologizing. 

_ No…  _ Her mind snapped clear in an instant, not liking the shuttered look on his face. It dawned on her that maybe, in her sex-dazed fog, she’d taken too long to answer when he called her name. Maybe it scared him. Yes, that was close to it. She knew that look on his face. It was the one he got when he was worried, when he wanted to hide from her. 

_ Oh, Frank…  _

She'd shushed his apologies and kissed him, not wanting to let him retreat into that cave in his mind where he could go sometimes when he didn’t know what to do. She got him into bed, but instead of holding him and lulling him to sleep, she had him sit up against the headboard. 

She climbed him. 

He looked so wary that it almost made her laugh. She kissed him. She ran her nails through his hair. She used every trick she knew, keeping it slow and light. Little by little, she got him to relax. 

Then, little by little, she riled him up again. 

He didn’t stand a chance. Frank could do hard and fast better than Karen would ever be able to match. But Karen had him beat on slow and teasing… it wasn’t even a competition. 

She took her time, waiting until she had him in her hands, hard as a rock- then she stared him straight in the eyes and told him what he needed to know. That she loved making love to him. Any way.  _ Every _ way. She loved it when he was soft and sweet, and she  _ loved it  _ when he was rough. He listened to every word like he was hypnotized. By the time she slid down over him he was almost panting, desperate. But she denied him, as hard as it was… she needed to prove her point, to make sure he got it. She kept her pace agonizingly slow as she got him to say the words she wanted to hear. He was twitching and groaning, nodding his head and promising he understood. He wouldn’t hold back. He’d fuck her even harder. However she wants-  _ whatever she wants just please fuck Karen please go faster…  _

Karen got warm all over just remembering that night. She pressed her lips together, blushing that she was thinking such dirty thoughts while riding the train. She wished the train would go faster. She wanted to beat Frank home. She liked being home when he arrived. 

Their new apartment was, by far, the nicest place she’d ever lived. Frank hadn’t been kidding the first night they’d gotten back to town. He’d started apartment shopping literally the next day. The conversation about moving in together had been so easy, Karen honestly couldn’t remember if they’d even spoken it out loud. The entire interaction might’ve just been a raised eyebrow and an answering smile. 

Their place had a doorman. Their mailbox said Karen Page & Pete Castiglione. The apartment itself was a little decadent, nothing too crazy… but it was a corner unit with lots of windows. And  _ the kitchen, _ that had been one of the main selling points. Frank loved it. Their bedroom had a bed just as big and wonderful as the one in the cabin had been. Their bathroom had a walk-in shower. Their closet was so big that Frank actually built a smaller room inside it that was basically a little armory. Because he’s Frank. 

Karen knew she was home first as she unlocked the door with her keys, and then went through the extra step of scanning her fingerprint… because again, Frank was Frank, and he’d installed some overkill security measures. If he was home, he would have disarmed the scanner for her. 

She walked in, turning on lamps and looking over the apartment as she went. Her heart was light. She was so happy here, in this home she and Frank were building together. Life was good. 

They both still had their dark days. The two of them were haunted by more ghosts than the average couple. Both struggled with nightmares and occasional sleepless nights. Both had clocks in the back of their minds, ever ticking toward some sad anniversary or another. Karen’s dad had actually called on her birthday this year. The first time since she’d left Vermont. It was a nice gesture, but still… it had stirred up a lot of emotions and Frank spent the rest of the day putting her back together. Frank’s calendar had more black dates than hers. His anniversary, the kids and Maria’s birthdays, the day they’d died… so many awful days came at him like an onslaught. But Karen was there, by his side, stopping the spiral and soothing the ache. They had each other. They worked at it.

Along the lines of work, their jobs were another thing that could have been an obstacle, but they refused to let that happen. Frank didn’t like a lot of the cases she investigated, and Karen hated that a lot of Frank’s assignments and operations were dangerous… but their work was such a huge part of who they were. They weren’t going to try to stop each other, and they weren’t going to fight about it. The way they made it work was to tell each other absolutely everything. No hiding, no secrets, no half truths to stop the other person from worrying. Full transparency. And sure, it was a hideous breach of confidentiality on behalf of her clients, and she was sure Frank was breaking all sorts of security protocols by telling her so much… but neither of them cared. This was their life together. They weren’t fucking around. 

The openness actually made work more fun. She loved sharing her work with Frank, bouncing ideas off of him, getting his advice and his take. What she loved even more was hearing about Frank’s work. SHIELD had always been something big and mysterious and compelling to Karen. When the world really found out about them a few years ago she’d been fascinated. Of course, New York being New York, the novelty of SHIELD lasted about a week and then no one thought about them anymore, but Karen always wondered what they were up to. 

Frank’s foot in the door, through Curt and a couple of vets, had gotten him an interview within a few weeks of arriving back to town. SHIELD put him through the ringer because of… well, everything. But in the end they saw him as an asset and wanted to bring him on board. 

She remembered the day he came home from his final interview. His face had been a little pale as he told her he’d gotten the job. This was great news, and she couldn't understand why he looked so shaken, but then he explained how the final interview had been a one-on-one with Nick Fury… and he was a little terrifying. Karen was stunned at the look on Frank’s face as he told her about it. Apparently the entire interview had been one big long warning. Basically, Fury letting Frank know he was working there on a one-strike-and-you’re-out basis. He’d already used up his nine lives, and if he tried to pull any of his renegade bullshit while wearing a SHIELD uniform, he was going to disappear and never be heard from again. Frank took him at his word.

All these months later, despite the icy interview, it turned out that Frank and Nick Fury actually worked well together and got along. Frank had risen through the ranks quickly and now worked directly under Agent Maria Hill. She’d become a friend. Fury too, in a way.

Karen set her bag down near her little desk by the window. How had things turned out like this? After everything they’d been through… they lived  _ here. _ They had work they believed in, where they could make a difference. They had friends. They could go out and enjoy the city like normal people. That was one of the things that never got old for them. Just going out to dinner or for drinks… Every now and then they’d have to turn to each other and say some version of  _ ‘I can’t believe we get to do this’. _ Just live. Just be. 

They owed so much to Brett Mahoney. The fact that Frank could walk in the daylight, could live a relatively normal life… Mahoney had paved the way. Frank’s real identity was well known at SHIELD and in their personal lives, but the rest of the world knew him as Pete Castiglione. Unfortunately, no fake ID or beard could truly hide him forever, and he was still one of the NYPD’s Most Wanted. But Brett squashed every investigation, every whisper from some source who swore to God they’d seen The Punisher on the train, in the park, at the deli… A few good words from Brett had gotten a lot of cops on in Frank’s corner. Brett was a saint. There was no other way to put it. 

Karen’s phone buzzed. Frank again, with a one word text.

_ Close. _

Karen bit her lip on her silly grin. Oh. He’s coming in hot. 

She headed for the bedroom. She thought for the briefest second about changing into one of her soft, silky little outfits, but batted that idea away quickly. He liked those, and he always tried to be careful, but if she was reading his texts right… it would probably end up getting destroyed. She went in the opposite direction, letting down her hair and getting completely naked before slipping into his dark grey sweatshirt. It was one of her favorites. Super soft. Something he only wore if they were staying inside all day long. 

She tousled her hair as she returned to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, then jumped up on the counter and sat there with her legs crossed. She’d wait for him here. She’d be the first thing he’d see when he turned the corner from the entryway. She felt sexy, impatient for him to get here already. 

Her glass of wine was about halfway gone when she heard the door unlock. The butterflies in her stomach took flight. His boots sounded heavy on the floor and _ finally…  _ there he was. He turned the corner and stopped in his tracks, looking so damn good in his dark blue SHIELD fatigues. Karen winced a little seeing the bruises along his cheekbone, but she’d been expecting them. 

Frank, with his short hair and shaved face all bruised up. It was like a blast from the past, except… he didn’t really look like The Punisher at all. His eyes were alive. He was happy. He was lit up from inside. 

She thought she might’ve heard him say  _ Christ _ low under his breath as he dropped his bag and made his way over to her with long, urgent strides. He didn’t bother with hello, he just captured her mouth with his, grabbing her by the backs of her knees, making room for himself between her thighs, and pulling her to the edge of the counter so she was flush up against him. He dominated her mouth, angling his head back and forth, drinking her down. His hands ran up under her sweatshirt and he groaned at finding her completely bare. 

He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on hers. “Missed you.”

She smiled, locking her ankles behind his back. “Missed you more.”

His jaw worked as she pulled at his shirt to get it untucked. He reached behind his neck with both hands to pull it off, and suddenly Karen could see a riot of bruises across his chest and one of his forearms was all bandaged up…

“Oh!” She yelped. Her sexy little bubble burst- he was hurt. For real.

He tried to shrug it off. “Just got my bell rung, that’s all. It’s ok. It’s ok.” 

But Karen shook her head, her hands hovering over him, not knowing where to touch. It had been a long time since she’d seen him like this. The butterflies in her stomach suddenly felt like bees. 

She must’ve looked as upset as she felt, because then he was kissing her, stroking her hair to soothe, touching her neck to cajole. Whispering  _ I’m ok, I’m ok _ whenever he took a second to breathe. 

_ “But-”  _

He cut her off with more kisses. 

“You make it better. You always make it feel better.” He growled at her. “Please…” 

And all her fight left her. It was replaced with pure need. She clung to him again, kissing him like she wanted to give him her own life force.

As if to prove just how unhurt he was, Frank picked her up off the counter and slowly, half blind, carried her to their bedroom. She loved it when he did that. He was so fucking strong. He made her pulse pound, her blood swirl. 

Frank set her down on the edge of the bed and immediately pressed her back into the mattress. Devouring her with his kiss, ripping the sweatshirt over her head so she was completely naked beneath him. He tasted her neck. He licked and kissed each breast. Then, he stood back up and stared down at her, his chest was heaving. So was hers as she laid there for him on their bed, letting him look. 

His jaw was working again. He stretched his neck from side to side as he toed off his boots, and his hands got to work unclasping his belt. But then he slowed down. The way he was looking at her now, all smug… He was doing it on purpose. Karen bit her lip. Watching him like this, waiting- it made her needy, thirsty, crazy.  _ Hurry up, Frank. I need you.  _ But he was taking his sweet time. 

Finally, he was fully naked, and  _ still _ \- he just stood there, his eyes sliding all over her, setting her skin on fire. Karen was almost squirming with impatience. His body was so beautiful, even bruised up the way he was, she sighed at the sight of him. Frank’s breathing was getting heavier. He stroked himself once or twice, not even seeming fully conscious of what he was doing, as his eyes bored into Karen’s.  _ Shit. _ He was killing her. She couldn’t take it anymore.

Karen sat up, reached for his hips, and had him in her mouth before he knew what was happening. She caught him somewhere between a whimper and a roar. 

_ “Jesus-” _

She had him right where she wanted him. He was  _ hers.  _ His fingers tangled in her hair, his hips made little thrusts that he could barely control. The sounds he was making…  _ Good Lord. _ He was at her mercy. She licked and kissed, she sucked and moaned. She gave him everything she knew would drive him crazy.

“Mmmmm.  _ Karen-” _ It was a plea. She didn’t stop… not quite yet…

Frank squeezed his eyes shut, groaning.  _ “Sweetheart _ … ” 

She released him with a satisfied little smirk. He was sweating, breathing like he’d just come up from underwater. He stared down at her, so hot, so hungry. Karen took advantage of his need to catch his breath. She turned, crawling further up the bed. Then, she gave him a little look over her shoulder. The look he returned made her shiver. He looked like he was about to breathe fire. 

Frank scrubbed his hand over his face and cursed. He was on the bed and inside her in a blur. He was a wall of solid muscle and heat behind her, his chest pressed to her back, his cock so deep, hitting her just right. Karen moaned, finally filled up. Finally getting what she’d been missing for these long weeks. Finally surrounded by him, overwhelmed by him. She couldn’t get enough.

Frank echoed her moan. He always responded to her voice so deliciously. He lost his mind when she moaned. He gave her anything she asked for, _ faster, slower, harder, more. _ But the thing he really loved, what set him off most, was sighing his name… telling him how good he made her feel… 

_ “Yes, _ Frank… I love it.” She breathed, and his arm around her waist tightened. 

He pressed his face into the back of her neck.

“So, good-  _ so good.” _ She whined. “I missed you  _ so much.” _

Frank’s answering grunt almost sounded like a sob, and suddenly he was hammering into her, a burst of speed out of nowhere. It was amazing. Mind blowing. She felt herself starting to float…

But then he pulled away, grabbing at her hips urgently, wanting her on her back.

_ “Fuck, Karen.” _ His voice was ragged. “I need to see you.”

And he was kissing her again, like he was feeling every bit of how much he’d missed her over the last three weeks all at once. His kiss was a little desperate and needy, and so honest it made Karen ache. 

When he broke the kiss, Frank looked straight into Karen’s eyes as he entered her again. They both sighed. Frank’s pupils were blown out. His eyes looked black, like they always did when he was completely lost in the moment, totally overcome. Karen writhed up to meet him, wanting to give him everything.  _ Everything.  _

His hand came up to rest around her throat, like she knew it would. After all this time together, Karen had come to interpret this touch in all sorts of ways. Yes, it was something about dominance, he liked that and so did she… but it was more than that. It was about connection, and knowing she was with him. It was about making absolutely sure that this was all real and that everything was ok. It was beautiful, and a little sad, and so very  _ Frank. _ That touch, combined with the feel of him inside her and the look in his eyes- it overwhelmed her. Before she even realized she was at that tipping point, Karen was shivering, calling out his name, and flying straight into the sun. 

_ God. _ So good, every single time. 

Frank kissed and caressed her through it all, only starting to speed up again once she’d caught her breath and gave him a dazed smile. He shifted his weight over her and bore down, faster, harder. She was almost too sensitive to handle it, but it was still so deliriously  _ good. _

Frank was spending himself, groaning and shaking. Karen could read his body, knowing how much pleasure he felt, but at the same time, seeing how he was chasing his release… seeing how it was elusive. Maybe it was the pain in his body from how he was injured, but more likely it was something on his mind. Maybe something had happened on the mission… 

Karen took his face in her hands. His eyes had clouded over a little.  _ No, Baby… not right now. You’re here with me.  _ She ran her fingers over his jaw the way he liked. He shivered at her touch.

Karen arched her back and bit her lip. His pace hadn’t slowed, he was going to make her come again. She had to bring him with her. 

“Look at me, Frank.” 

His eyes locked on hers. 

“I love you.” 

He stared at her. 

_“You’re here_ _with me_ and I love you.”

Frank blinked, his eyes cleared. Release hit him like a tidal wave. A couple more gasping breaths, and he was coming for her, shuddering against her, and bringing her over the edge with him. 

They hovered above the earth for a while before coming back to themselves… 

Frank was all touch in the immediate after, pulling blankets over her so she didn’t get cold, holding her close and kissing her hair. 

Karen gave him some time before asking any questions. He was exhausted, maybe it could wait until tomorrow. But after they’d been laying together for a while and it was clear he wasn’t going to fall asleep, she turned to look at him. He was wide awake, staring at their entwined fingers. 

She asked him about the mission, if there was anything on his mind. He smiled. Always so amused at how she was able to read him, even if it was something he didn’t feel like talking about. 

Frank sighed. He laid back so he could stare at the ceiling and he told her about the kid they’d gone to find in Chili. Just a 15 year old boy. Incredibly powerful. He could make his body as hard as steel, as hot as fire. The bruises across Frank’s chest- that was from just one hit. A militia group had captured him. Scientists had experimented on him. Frank and his team stormed the place and eventually found him in a little cell with no windows… a cage, really. 

Frank’s voice as gruff as he told her how they’d tried to reason with the kid, tried to bring him back to New York so they could keep him safe. But he wouldn’t listen. 

Frank shook his head as he spoke. “Just a kid. He was scared and pissed off. He had no real reason to trust us, but-” 

Frank’s voice caught in his throat. Karen held his hand tighter. 

“I hope he’s ok.” Frank exhaled, looking tired for the first time tonight. “He has Hill’s number so… maybe he’ll call if he gets into trouble…” 

Karen’s heart twisted. She could tell Frank cared about the boy, from the moment he saw him. He’d probably seen his own son when he looked at him and wanted to protect him, wanted to hurt the people who hurt him. 

“I think he’ll call.” She said.

Frank looked at her, eyes full of doubt. 

“This life is full of second chances, Frank. Third, and fourth, and fifth chances, too.”

He finally smiled and gave her one of those laughs where his belly bounced but no sound came out. The look in his eyes was saying  _ thank you _ , and  _ I love you _ , and so many sweet things. That was the look she’d been waiting for. 

“Are you hungry?” She asked, knowing him all too well. 

He grinned at her, a little shy for some reason she’d never understand. 

“Kinda. Hill got us pizza for the debrief, but-”

“I was hoping you’d be home soon. I got you something.” Karen cut him off. “Wait here.” 

She popped out of bed throwing his sweatshirt back on as she scampered to the kitchen. Frank almost never condoned eating in bed, but she had a feeling he’d make an exception tonight. 

She re-entered the bedroom with a big, warm piece of apple pie from the bakery down the street- his favorite- and a giant scoop of vanilla ice cream. His eyes went wide and his nose scrunched up on one side, like it so often did when he was surprised. That little nose scrunch made Karen melt every time.

“Who are you?” He groaned, staring at the pie. “You’re perfect.” 

Karen laughed. She handed him the plate. He took it in one hand while grabbing the neck of her shirt with the other, pulling her down for a kiss. 

Frank dug into his pie as she filled him in on all the plans for tomorrow. How their contribution to the wedding was handling everything flower related. He nodded along, seeming to remember all the details even though she’d only mentioned them once or twice and that had been weeks ago. 

“Your suit arrived.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmmhmm.” Karen poked her head out of the closet. “I can’t wait to see you in it.”

Frank grinned and shook his head, not knowing how to respond to that. He’d finished his pie and ran his thumb over the plate gathering a few crumbs and melted ice cream. The way he licked off his thumb was too masculine and sexual to even deal with. Karen ducked back into the closet. 

They’d never gone to anything where they needed to get dressed up together. Tomorrow was going to be fun. She pulled two dresses from the limited options she had and looked them over. She stepped out of the closet holding one hanger up in each hand. 

“Which one do you like better? Black or purple?” 

She spun the hangers in her hands so he could see the dresses from both sides. Frank looked up at her from under his brow, like he couldn’t believe he was getting a say in this decision. 

“Uh… They both look pretty.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him.  _ Come on. _

“Can I see them on?” He asked, a little gleam in his eye. 

Karen laughed and rolled her eyes. “Can’t you just pick?”

“Try them on for me.” He had the decency to look a little bashful when he said it. “Please.” 

_ Ugh- with the please… _

“Ok.” She turned to go back to the closet and change. 

“Can’t you change out here?” 

“No!” She huffed. 

He was sitting up in their bed waiting patiently when she emerged from the closet. She’d picked the black one to show him first. It had long sleeves and was really plain in the front, but was completely backless. The dress clung to her like a second skin. 

Frank smiled when she stepped out. She peeked at him over her shoulder when she gave him a little spin. His jaw dropped open in the most satisfying way when he saw her completely naked back. 

“What do you think?”

He just nodded. “Are you wearing anything under there?”

Karen blushed. “Not right now.”

“Will you tomorrow?”

She laughed. He was still kind of slack jawed. 

“Well, I’ll wear panties, but you can’t wear a bra with a dress like this.”

He nodded again. “I like it.”

Karen squinted at him, no idea if he actually liked the dress or not. She went back to the closet and put on the purple dress. It was more traditional, strapless with a straight across cut, and it hugged her curves perfectly. 

She stepped out. Frank was still sitting up waiting, he greeted her with that same unreadable smile. 

She gave him a spin. He nodded. 

“Turn around again.”

She did. 

“One more time.”

She laughed. “Frank!” 

He grinned. “I like it.” 

OK, he was no help. 

...

In the end, Karen opted for purple thinking it might look better in pictures. That thought made her laugh a little. She and Frank nearly always avoided having their photos taken under any circumstances, but today was a rare exception. She’d finally have a few photos of them all dressed up, and he’d have a shiner in every single one of them, but then… that seemed appropriate. Besides, shiner or not, he was wearing the hell out of that suit. He looked delicious.

Frank’s suit was a dark grey and his shirt was black. No tie- at her insistence- and the top button of his shirt was left open. She cringed realizing the only other time she’d seen him in a suit was at his trial. He hadn’t been able to come to Foggy’s wedding with her, too many people would’ve recognized him. He’d looked good in his trial suit… but it was nothing compared to how he looked tonight. It had been like herding cats, trying to get him to stand still long enough so she could take his measurements. But the effort had been worth it. It was making her blush, just looking at him. And the smug, yet somehow shy look on his face wasn’t helping. 

Karen was watching him now. It was wonderful to see him so relaxed in a group of people. He was standing near the bar with Luke, Misty, Colleen, and Danny Rand, who’d flown back for the occasion. Danny had just said something that made Luke and Frank look at each other and crack up, while the women’s faces just looked stunned. Seeing him like this… it made her soul ache in such a good way. 

He must have felt her stare from across the room. Frank caught her eye. He held her gaze with a little heat. When she didn’t look away, he raised a brow.  _ You okay? _

She smiled at him and winked.  _ All good. _

She made a show of looking him over from head to toe, before turning back to her friends. 

Karen was leaning on a high table with Trish, Claire, and Marci. 

“Thank God speeches are over- now I can finally drink!” Trish sang, and they all toasted her. 

Trish was Maid of Honor alongside Foggy as Best Man. Her speech had been funny, smart and teasing, while Foggy’s had been so heartfelt, there hadn’t been a dry eye in the house. They were both perfect. 

“And the flowers!  _ Karen- _ they’re amazing!” Trish was almost bouncing off the walls now that her responsibilities were over for the evening. Her tipsy giddiness made the rest of them grin.

“Thanks! I love the way they turned out, but there was way more than I had imagined. I don’t know what I would have done without Frank today.” 

“I guess you’ll just have to find a way to make it up to him.” Trish winked.

Karen’s eyebrows reached for the sky and she burst out laughing. “Whoa-  _ Trish!" _

“What? I know you’re already thinking about it.” Trish said in a silly stage whisper. “At any given moment there’s more sexual tension between you and Frank than any other couple here!” 

Karen's jaw dropped and she blushed. She peeked back over her shoulder at Frank, he was still looking at her from across the room. 

“I don’t know, I think tonight Karen and Frank might have some competition in the disgustingly-obvious-sexual-tension department.” Marci said. “I mean, look at our newlyweds over there.” 

Karen broke her stare with Frank and all four women at her table turned their attention to Matt and Jess. They were seated close at the tiny table reserved for the couple of honor. It looked like they hadn’t even touched their dinner, they were just turned in to each other, talking and smiling. Matt leaned even closer, whispering something into Jess’s ear. Her smile grew and she closed her eyes as she listened. 

They all sighed in unison.  _ Too _ adorable. 

“And what about Colleen and Danny?” Claire chirped. 

Again, all four women turned, this time to the opposite side of the room. Colleen was so happy she might as well have been glowing. Danny had been away for so long, and she’d been so steady. Waiting for him. Hoping for the best. They’d spent too much time apart and it seemed like they were trying to make up for it now. Danny had at least one hand on her at all times. Colleen, normally so cool and collected, was all but emanating heat. Her eyes were on fire every time she looked up at him. 

“Oh yeah.” Karen said, trying to keep her voice low. “The award for the steamiest vibes is definitely going to our two Iron Fists over there. I’m surprised Colleen hasn’t dragged Danny to the coat closet already.”

“Well, the night is young.” Trish said.

The four of them started laughing, struggling to contain their giggles, not wanting to draw attention to their staring at the young superpowered couple. 

Frank noticed. Of course. And he seemed to be at his limit of standing there while Karen stared and smiled in his direction from across the room. He made his way over to their table with a suspicious squint in his eyes. 

“You ladies look like trouble.” He said, stepping up alongside Karen.

“Who,  _ us?” _ Marci pretended to be shocked.

They all started giggling again and Frank’s eyes flashed at her over the rim of his drink as he took a long sip. Frank set his glass down and hooked Karen’s fingers with his. He tilted his head to the dancefloor. 

_ Yes, please. _ Karen followed Frank, giving her friends a little wave over her shoulder. Frank picked a spot on the floor, turned, and pulled her close. Karen looped her arms around his neck. 

_ “Baby,  _ you look good enough to eat.” Karen drawled in a syrupy southern accent, clearly referencing the first time they’d ever danced together in that sleazy club forever ago. 

Frank huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “I still can’t believe you did that.”

She just blinked at him prettily, still channeling the ditzy southern girlfriend. Frank bit the inside of his cheek, his hands sliding lower over her body.

“You got that hand cannon between your legs this time?”

No, she didn’t have her gun on her tonight… but admitting that was no fun at all. So, Karen smirked. 

“You’ll have to do some investigating later and find out for yourself.”

Frank laughed and spun her out with the music before reeling her back in. “Yes, Ma’am.” 

Pressed back up against him, Karen ran her nails over the back of Frank’s skull. His eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, like she knew they would. He pressed his forehead to hers. 

“I think about that sometimes… the way you looked in that red wig, that tiny dress.” Frank said, so low that only she could hear. “The way it felt to touch you. The way you looked at me. The way you spelled out my bullshit in the alley and walked away.”

He leaned up so he could look into her eyes. “... Was like waking up from a coma.”

Karen’s heart fluttered. 

“You came outta nowhere, Karen. Like always.”

She hardly knew what to say, but it didn’t matter. He kissed her. Light at first, but it grew. And grew. He only broke the kiss when she’d lost all sense of time and space and moaned into his mouth right there on the dancefloor. Her eyes popped open at the sound, she could already feel a blush warming her cheeks, but Frank just grinned. Normally, he was reserved in public. He’d hold her hand, and often make some sort of physical signal to the world that she was his, but he saved his affection for when they were alone. Tonight was special though. Different. He let himself touch. Kiss. Stare. 

They savored this. This was one of those times… One of those moments when they were both struck by the beauty of a normal life; dancing together at a wedding, surrounded by people who made them feel safe and good. One of those moments where their ‘after’ was so sweet it made them ache. 

Karen knew they were both having a great time, but she couldn’t help but think that she got to enjoy it on even more levels that Frank did. Because she got to watch  _ him. _ She got to see the man she loved- healthy. Alive. She got to think back on where they started and look at him now… and feel all the gratitude. All the wonder. This man had been through so much and had come so far. 

Frank was happy. His eyes were dark and wonderful, like coffee or bourbon. He kept surprising her all night long. She’d grown accustomed to his restraint when they were with others, so every time he came up behind her and put his arm around her, resting his hand on her belly as they stood around talking with friends, it sent a zip up her spine. Every time he absent mindedly kissed her hair, or cheek, before heading off to refill their drinks, she felt little sparkles all over her skin. The night wore on, Frank kept up the light touches, the surprising kisses, the little looks, and Karen felt like she was floating. 

When it was finally time to call it a night, Frank and went to get their coats. Almost everyone had already left, and Karen was standing near the front doors with the newlyweds, all buzzed and grinning, waiting for their Ubers. 

“Heads up, Blondie.”

Karen whipped her head toward Jess just in time to see the bride's bouquet flying through the air in her direction. Karen caught it on instinct.

“Now it's official. You’re next.” Jess said, her eyes alive with mischief.

“ _ Ha ha.”  _ She said, laughing, but trying to hand the bouquet back to Jess as quickly as she could. 

Jess held her hands up, not taking the flowers. 

“What? You know it’s gonna happen. Probably sooooooooon.” Jess was using a sing-song voice, evidence of how tipsy she actually was. 

Karen couldn’t help but laugh again, though she really did want Jess to take the flowers back. The last thing she ever wanted to do was have Frank feel any pressure about marriage and weddings or anything like that. Thinking about that might bring up painful memories for him, and besides, Karen  _ loved _ their relationship. They didn’t need to change a thing. 

“Maybe, maybe not.” Karen grinned to her friend, before pinning her with a serious look. “But this is special, Jess. You should keep it.” 

Jess rolled her eyes to say  _ oh fine  _ at the exact moment Karen felt Frank appear at her side with their coats. Frank’s eyes tracked the bouquet as she handed it back to Jess. Karen smiled up at him, hoping he hadn’t heard much of that little conversation. She didn’t want him to even give it a second thought. If tonight was evidence of anything, it was that things were going great with them. It was perfect. She’d be happy for the rest of her life, just being together, just like this. 

Their Uber arrived. Jess and Karen hugged as the men slapped each other on the back, and she and Frank huddled into their car. Karen sank into her seat and sighed, so happy. What an amazing night.

She turned to Frank and took his hand to silently say  _ I love you, I’m so happy. _ Now was the time for silent conversation. Frank was always quiet in front of strangers and almost never spoke if someone was obviously listening, like their driver. He just squeezed her hand, lifted it, and gave her fingers a little kiss. So sweet, but… something was different. He’d been so loose, so light hearted at the reception, but now he seemed a little tense. Karen didn’t want to over analyze it though. He was probably exhausted, he’d just gotten home from a mission last night afterall.

Once they were out of the car and back in their building, Karen curled into him in the elevator. Still high from the night, high on  _ him _ and how he’d been making her feel all day long. She’d had half expected him to pin her to the elevator wall the moment the doors closed, but he didn’t. He held her tight when she leaned in, and gave her a little half smile when she kissed his neck, but that was it. His mind was elsewhere… Karen felt a little itch in the back of her head. Something wasn’t right. 

She followed him into the apartment, watching him, looking for signs and clues, but he was strangely hard to read. It didn’t help that she was tipsy, tired, and feeling a little needy for him. 

Frank shrugged out of his jacket, tossed it on the back of the couch, and headed for the kitchen. To Karen’s surprise, he headed straight for the liquor cabinet and poured himself some whiskey. The itch in her brain became a big neon sign flickering to life. It’s official. Something’s wrong.

...What on earth? He’d been having such a good time, doing so well. Karen’s brain started whirring, or as close to whirring as it could in her semi-inebriated state. He was having a great night. He _deserved_ to have a great night. She needed to pull him out of whatever vortex he was falling into.

Frank was leaning against the counter staring into his drink as Karen approached. She leaned into him, finally getting his full attention as she spread her hands over his chest. She started slowly unbuttoning his shirt and pulled it open just enough so she could lay some soft kisses on his throat. Frank sighed. His free hand rose to her hip and lightly squeezed. A good sign. She looked up at him, gave him a smile, nudged his nose with hers.  _ Come back to me.  _ She kissed him. Frank made a low noise in his throat. Karen wanted more. His hair was too short to sink her fingers into now, but she held his face with both hands. He responded a bit more, setting down his drink running, both hands over her. Karen felt that electric feeling revving up inside her. She almost had his fire started, she could feel him giving in to her, coming back to her-

But then he slowed her down, he broke the kiss. His eyes were a little clouded over. 

“Frank, what’s on your mind?”

His eyes flickered to hers, like he was caught. 

“Nothing.”

She tilted her head at him.  _ What’s wrong? _

“Really, Sweetheart. Nothing’s wrong.” He gave her a smile, but it just looked a little sad. “This night was good.”

He looked down over her and sighed. “You look beautiful. You’re perfect.”

Karen had no idea how to respond to that. Frank almost never did this. They were always honest. They always told each other everything. Something was bothering him. She wanted to help, to make it better, but how could she if he was being like this? In a last ditch effort to draw him out, Karen tried for a Hail Mary- the oldest trick in the book.

She gave him a smile and one last peck on the lips, then she turned around, giving him a heated little look over her shoulder. 

“Can you unzip me?” 

Frank’s eyes dragged over her. He stepped up behind her and touched her dress like it was the most delicate thing in the world. He lowered the zipper slowly. Karen’s hands came up to hold the fabric against her chest as it loosened. When he had the zipper all the way down, his fingers traced back up her spine. It gave her goosebumps and she didn’t try to hide the way he made her shiver. Frank pressed a little kiss to her shoulder, another to her neck, but again, took his foot off the gas. He stepped back. 

Ok. She was out of ideas. And now she was frustrated and a little hurt. She whispered  _ Thanks _ over her shoulder, headed for their bedroom, and closed the door to their closet behind her once she stepped inside. 

Karen let her beautiful purple dress fall into a pool around her on the floor. She was so irritated she almost kicked the dress aside, but thought better of it and hung it up. She rolled her eyes at the sexy bra and panty set she’d been wearing all day, there would be no use for them tonight. Shame. She’d been really  _ really… _ well, it didn’t matter now. Karen felt disappointment clunk around in her chest for a while, then settle into her stomach. She pulled out a billowy tee shirt and yoga pants, not caring how she looked anymore, just wanting to be comfortable. 

Karen stepped out of the closet and walked over to the little dresser by the window. She stared out at the New York night as she took off her jewelry. Her mind turned to the man in the kitchen. The one she loved. He was complicated. He could go dark, especially at night… a switch somewhere inside him could just flip. 

She sighed, frustrated. She wasn’t mad at him, not really. She just  _ hated _ when she couldn’t read him, when he wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. That never really happened anymore. She didn’t know how to take it. Part of her wanted to be upset with him, but the other part was worried. Maybe it was something really big? Maybe it was so awful that he didn’t even know what to say?

She stared out the window, going back through the night, trying to piece together what was happening with him. All day he’d been… fine. More than fine. He’d been amazing. Helping her with the flowers and all the hectic last minute stuff, wearing the suit she got him and looking way too delicious in it, relaxing and having fun at the reception… where had the darkness snuck in? The wedding had been perfect.

Karen’s eyes snapped open and she stared at her own reflection in the glass.  _ Shit. _ How hadn’t she thought of this until now? This was probably the first wedding he’d been to since _his own._ He probably had all kinds of things running through his mind right now. All sorts of feelings dragged up. Good grief, how had she let that slip her mind? Had he been in pain all day and she hadn’t noticed? 

Something was off though… They were way past him feeling uncomfortable talking to her about Maria. He did it all the time, and Karen actually loved hearing the stories. It helped her know him better, love him better. Why wouldn’t he just tell her what was on his mind? 

Karen almost turned on the spot and went to him, but then stopped herself. He’d been so shut down, maybe tonight was one of the rare nights when there was nothing she could do. Maybe she just needed to leave him be. He clearly hadn’t wanted to talk about it in the kitchen. Maybe he just needed to process alone for a while. He’d come to her when he was ready, he always did. 

God, it was hard not to run to him right now. Karen was chewing her nails. She cringed a little, thinking of how she’d tried to seduce him in the kitchen. That was probably the last thing he needed…

Karen heard a noise behind her and turned. Frank was in the doorway, watching her. How long had he been there? She had to hold in a sigh at the sight of him. He was barefoot, his shirt mostly unbuttoned, his hair a little mussed up from how he’d clearly been running his hands through it. So hot. Distractingly hot.

“Hey.” His voice was so low, she might have just imagined it.

“Hey.” She said, giving him a little smile.

His face was set in such serious lines, his energy so intense. She wanted him to feel better, she wanted him to let her help.

Frank kept his eyes on her as he walked into the bedroom. He sat on the end of the bed and held his hand out for her. She took it, moving to sit next to him, but he pulled her onto his lap instead. Karen looped her arms around Frank’s shoulders and he pressed his forehead into her neck, taking a minute, like he was breathing her in. Karen’s skin tingled. This was where she wanted to be. Right here, in it with him. They could talk about Maria, about whatever made him sad, about  _ anything _ .

Frank leaned back, looking up at her from under his brow.

“Karen…” His voice was all gravel and grind. “You know I want to marry you, don’t you?”

_ … ? _

She had no words. 

He looked away for a moment, shaking his head, before pinning her with his gaze again. 

“You have to know.”

Karen’s head was spinning. She almost wanted to laugh. This was so classic Frank. He’d never said this, they’d never even discussed it, but here he was, saying she  _ had to know.  _

“I- I didn’t know you... wanted to…” Karen could barely think, let alone form sentences. 

Frank frowned, holding her a little tighter. “How can you not know? I love you. I live with you. You’re everything.”

Karen’s eyes were starting to tear up, so surprised and confused that her body was just reacting in shock. 

“Frank, I- you’re everything to me too, _ everything  _ \- I just… figured marriage would bring up painful memories, or…” She didn’t know how to land that thought. 

Frank shook his head, still frowning at her. 

“My whole life is painful memories, except you. Never you. Christ, Karen.”

Frank sunk his hand in her hair, kissing her hard in frustration, making her head spin even more. He was still frowning when he pulled away. 

“I knew you were thinking something like that. Jones gave you that bouquet… and you just gave it back, like it wasn’t even an option.” His voice was hard, accusing.

_ Oh, are you kidding me, Frank?  _ Karen barely even knew where to start.

_ “Honey, _ we’ve never talked about marriage- so I assumed it was just too hard for you to think about, or you didn’t want to... I gave Jess the flowers back so you wouldn’t feel awkward or pressured or-” 

Frank’s scoff cut her off. It was odd, being held so lovingly by someone who looked so annoyed. Karen pressed on, wanting to make her point.

“ _ Anyway-  _ I don’t need that- you know? I love you. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you. Married or not. It doesn’t matter.” 

Karen felt like she’d just opened up her heart and told him something sweet and honest, but to her dismay, Frank’s frown turned into a scowl.

“It matters.” He bit.

_ Well… _ Karen had no idea what he wanted from her at this point. 

“If it matters so much, why haven’t you ever said anything?” She bit back, getting a little tired of his stink eye.

Finally, the lines of his face eased up a little. He was still frowning, but this frown looked a little less annoyed with her, and a little more annoyed with himself. 

“I don’t know… There’s a bunch of things. There’s this voice in the back of my head, telling me not to get greedy… Telling me things are good, and if I try for more… some cosmic bullshit is gonna fall from the sky and take it all away.” 

Frank sighed and shook his head, like this was a childish fear and he was embarrassed. Like he was telling her he was afraid of the boogeyman. Karen didn’t think his fear was unfounded at all- the same thoughts ran through her head almost every day. She brought her fingers up to his jaw. Frank closed his eyes at her touch. 

“And there’s all the legal stuff…” He continued, looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “My identity. So many other things. I keep thinking it’ll be hard to work all that out…” 

Karen kissed his forehead. “Don’t worry. We can figure it out.”

His head snapped up and he looked her dead in the eye.

_ “I know. _ I know we can figure it out- you  _ always _ figure that shit out. That’s why I don’t want you thinking I don’t want to marry you.  _ Jesus- _ of course, I want to marry you.” 

He was scowling at her again, looking so mad that Karen had to really struggle to hold in her laugh. Sometimes she forgot how old fashioned Frank was. How traditional so many of his values were. How, if he loved a woman and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, the thought of not being married was insane. How…  _ wait a second… HOLY SHIT- _

Karen’s breath suddenly caught in her throat. 

“Frank, a- are you proposing to me?” 

Frank’s face, transitioning from irritated scowl to wide eyed shock, was something Karen would never forget. It was too good. He gaped at her, for a few stretched moments seeming frozen in time. Karen’s entire world stopped spinning. 

“Yeah...” 

Frank tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, scanning her face like he was seeing it for the first time. Karen could see his throat working, his adam’s apple bounced up and down. And then his eyes locked on hers, with all the intensity of the warrior that he was.

“Will you marry me, Karen?”

Karen had never felt so deeply rooted in a gut feeling in her life, it was like the answer YES had been waiting dormant in her for so long, and they just struck oil. She was bursting.

_ “Yes, Frank. _ Yes.” She blinked back her tears. “Yes.”

And there was this little moment… she watched something flicker to life in his eyes... something bright and brand new. 

Frank took her face in both hands and kissed her. Hard. The kiss still had the edge of frustration from minutes ago, but that just made it all the better, all the more urgent. They drank from each other until they were drunk. 

When they finally came up for air, they stared wide-eyed, seeing each other in this whole new light, this whole new world. Karen just started laughing. Frank did too, though he got serious again as he remembered something important. He wanted her to keep her own last name. He couldn’t express strongly enough that he didn’t want her name to be Karen fucking Castiglione. She laughed and laughed until she had to wipe away tears, and as soon as she could breathe again, she agreed to his request wholeheartedly.  Karen sighed. More relaxed and happy than she’d ever been in her life, still sitting in Frank’s lap as he held her like she was the most precious thing in the universe.

“Tell me you know how much I love you.” He mumbled into her neck between kisses. 

Karen bit her lip.  _ Oh, _ her man was happy. Frank always started up with the ‘tell me you knows’ when he was happiest. And Karen loved to play along, as the only rules of the game seemed to be Frank saying the sweetest things, and Karen just needing to listen and agree. 

“I know.” She whispered back. 

“Tell me you know I can’t wait to marry you.” He breathed into her ear before nipping her earlobe.

“I know.” She whispered again. 

She took his face in her hands to look into his eyes. They were dark, dark, dark. 

“And I can’t wait to be your wife.”

Frank’s jaw worked. He groaned and tipped them back onto the bed and rolled on top of her.

“Say it again.”

Karen grinned as he pinned her wrists to the mattress. 

“I can’t wait to be your wife.”

Frank growled, dragging his lips over her throat. 

“Again.”

She did. 

_ “Again.”  _

She did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Friends, 
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading and spending time with me here in this story. I appreciate it more than I can say.
> 
> To all of you who've left kudos and kept up conversation with me in comments as this story progressed- I truly can't thank you enough. You really encouraged me to just go with my gut and get this story out in a time when I feel pretty shut down and not myself. I'm wishing you all the absolute best- that you are healthy and safe and with the people you love:) 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you


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